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裸睡的尴尬

所属:生活杂谈 作者:Carol Wells 阅读:11313 次 评论:2 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

小编摘要:老妈非常之保守,凡是在她看来越过了礼貌或教养界限的行为,她通常都不能接受,即便是在卧室里。那么她将如此看待女儿的裸睡事件呢?

裸睡

 

 

在性问题上我妈可谓非常之保守。凡是在她看来越过了礼貌或教养界限的行为,她通常都不能接受,即便是在卧室里。一天下午,当姐姐不小心说漏了嘴说自己裸睡时,可怜的老太太震惊得几乎昏倒。妇道人家只盖着被单赤身裸睡,老妈觉得这实在没道理。姐姐出于自卫,向老妈爆料说,我嫂子承认她自己也是裸睡的。
My mother could probably be best described as sexually conservative and not always receptive to what, in her mind, toed the line of decorum or good manners—even in the bedroom. The poor woman almost keeled over in shock one afternoon when my sister let it slip that she slept in the nude. Mom failed to see any valid reasoning for a woman to sleep without anything but the sheets of the bed covering her body. My sister, in self-defense, informed my mother that my brother’s wife also admitted to sleeping in the nude.
“你在开玩笑,是不是?”老妈问。
“You are joking, right?” my mother asked.
“不是呀,”姐姐回答说,“我都裸睡好几个月了。”
“No,” my sister replied. “I’ve been sleeping that way for several months now.”
“究竟为什么会有人想光着身子睡觉呢?”老妈谨慎地大声问道。
“Why on earth would anyone want to sleep naked?” Mom mused out loud.
“因为我觉得穿睡袍睡觉不舒服,”姐姐答道。接着她继续为她放弃睡袍的选择提供论证,她控诉说在她睡着时睡袍是如何紧缠着她,令她极不舒服。在她看来,睡衣睡裤同样会缠绕着身体。最重要的是:她觉得裸睡能让她晚上睡得更好,而不用中途醒来把自己从衣服的缠绕中解脱出来。
“Because I don’t find nightgowns comfortable,” my sister replied. She further defended this choice of sleeping attire, or lack thereof, by sharing how gowns wrapped around her while she slept and became uncomfortable. Pajamas, in her opinion, were not less prone to this twisting. The bottom line was my sister felt she got a better night’s rest without having to wake up to untangle herself.
“那你老公不反对你这么做吗?”老妈谨慎地问道,表情多少有些失望。
“And your husband lets you do this?” Mom mused somewhat disappointedly.
“他一点儿也不介意,”姐姐老老实实地答道。
“He doesn’t mind it at all,” my sister replied honestly.
“他当然不介意了,”老妈语带讥讽地说道。她静静地坐了片刻,以消化这所有的信息——不单单是自己的一个女儿裸睡,就连自己的儿子也允许媳妇裸睡!更糟糕的是,这两个女人彼此谈起这件事情时,居然丝毫不觉得难为情。
“I am sure he doesn’t,” my mother said, with a tinge of sarcasm to her words. She sat silently for a few long seconds as she digested this information that not only did one of her daughters sleep in the nude but her son allowed his wife to do so as well! Worse yet, the two women apparently felt no shame as they talked about it with each other!
你几乎能看到此刻老妈的脑子正在快速运转,她在努力思索:作为母亲,自己到底哪里做错了?紧接着,她又努力寻思改正孩子们裸睡毛病的办法。
One could almost see the gears churning in her brain while trying to think of where she went wrong as a parent, this followed by her trying to think of a way of how she could correct the situation.
“要是发生火灾怎么办呀?”她问道。
“What if there is a fire?” she asked.
“什么?”
“What?”
“要是发生火灾怎么办呀?”老妈重复道,“你们想过这个没有?当警察和邻居们看到你赤裸着身体像个傻瓜似地从屋子里跑出来时,你怎么跟他们解释呢?‘哦,我讨厌穿睡衣,因为我睡觉的时候总是翻来覆去的,所以索性再也不穿睡衣了’?”
“What if there is a fire?” my mother repeated. “Have you thought about that? What will you say to your neighbors and the police when they see you running out of the house naked as a jaybird? ‘Oh, I didn’t like it that I toss and turn too much while sleeping so I just skip wearing a nightgown anymore’?”
“我在床尾放了件睡袍的,老妈。”姐姐答道。
“I have a robe that I keep at the foot of the bed, Mom,” my sister replied.
“哼,好像着火的时候你还有时间去抓睡袍,而不会慌得只顾逃命,也不会忘记去抓睡袍?”老妈立刻反驳道,“你似乎忘了,我们这儿可是个小地方。”
“Humph, as if during a fire you’d have time to grab the robe, or not panic and forget to grab it while trying to escape the house,” my mother immediately retorted. “You seem to be forgetting this is a small town.”
“哎呀,老妈……”
“Oh, mother…”
“你可别忘了消防员会赶来救火哦。然后人家就看见你站在那儿——一丝不挂。你以为人家回家后不会跟人说,看见你赤条条地站在自己家的前院里呀?”
“And don’t forget the firemen that will show up to put out the fire. And there you are—stark naked. You think they won’t go home and tell others they saw you naked out in your front yard?”
“我想他们能体谅的,”姐姐说,“毕竟,我的房子着火了。我不可能再跑回屋里为他们穿衣打扮一番啊。”
“I think they would understand,” my sister said. “After all, my house is on fire. It isn’t like I could go back inside and dress up for them.”
“这正是我的意思。”老妈说道,“我只是好意提醒你——这事只有你、我和墙上的那只苍蝇知道——本地的报社可能会派摄影记者来拍一两张照片的。一个女人被拍到赤身裸体地从着火的房子里跑出来,照片出现在报纸的头版上,街知巷闻——你真想冒这个险?相信我,要是你穿上睡袍睡觉的话,就会睡得安稳得多,而不必担心哪天夜里你会赤条条地站在自家前院里。千万别发生这样的事!”
“My point exactly,” mom said. “And, just as a friendly reminder shared between me, you, and the fly on the wall, the local newspaper just may send a photographer to take a picture or two. Do you really want to risk becoming known as that woman who ran naked from her burning home that appeared on the paper’s front page? Trust me—if you slept in a gown then you would sleep a lot easier without worrying about standing naked in your front yard one night, God forbid.”
我老妈要是就此罢休的话就不是我老妈了。圣诞节到了,我姐和我嫂子双双收到老妈的礼物——睡袍。“为万一着火而备。”我多少有点觉得,老妈有点期待发生一场小火灾,这样她就可以“教训”姐姐了:“瞧,我早就提醒过你!”
My mother would not be my mother if she had swept this under the rug without further comment. At Christmas-time, my sister and sister-in-law both received nightgowns. “Just in case of a fire.” In a way, I almost think my mother hoped a small fire would happen just so she could tell my sister, “See, I told you so!”
两姑嫂把睡袍各自带回家了。不过,这并不能证明我老妈成功地让她们中的哪一个又重穿睡袍睡觉了。我猜她俩是认为接受礼物比拒绝更简单易行些,但愿老妈有一天发觉自己已经给她们买了太多的睡袍了。
The two women took the nightgowns home. However, this is not proof that my mother converted either one back to wearing nightgowns. I think both of them figured it was just easier to accept the gifts and hope Mom would one day feel she had purchased them more than enough.
后来,当老妈问我是否也裸睡时,我很巧妙地转移了话题。看到了我姐和我前嫂子的遭遇,我知道全家人都会明白为什么我的圣诞礼物开始变成一套套的睡袍。尽管老妈的确挑中过一些可爱的睡袍,但是难道我真的想让全家人都知道我睡觉时的癖好吗?才不要!
Later on, when my mother asked me if I slept in the nude, I played it smart and changed the topic. After seeing what happened to my sister and former sister-in-law, I knew the whole family would know why I started to receive nightgown sets as gifts at Christmastime. Although my mother did pick out lovely gowns—did I really want the whole family to know about my sleeping habits? Not really.
标签:裸睡 尴尬 风波
11
2011-03-24 14:11 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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