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临终父亲对女儿的寄言

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小编摘要:想象一下,如果你是一名父亲,然后发现自己将不久于人世。你的孩子们将托付给谁呢?请倾听一位面临噩耗而不慌乱,只一心为女儿打算的父亲的心语吧。请关注CNN台6月19至20日晚上8点播放的“父亲联盟”,桑杰?古朴达的

When Sanjay Gupta came to our home in Brooklyn, New York, recently to begin work on a documentary about "The Council of Dads," I was instantly struck that we had a number of things in common. We've both spent a lot of time on the road, including Iraq. We both have strong connections to Georgia. I was raised in Savannah; he lives in Atlanta.

But most of all, we're both dads. Between us we had five daughters under 5.

Inevitably our conversations turned to what wisdom we'd like our girls to know. In 2008, I reached out to six friends and asked them to form a "Council of Dads" to be present in the lives of my twin daughters. I then asked each friend for one piece of advice he would convey to my girls.

Their answers surprised and moved me. They made me a better father.

And they inspired me to write "The Council of Dads," which contains life lessons from these dads, my own dad, and various father figures in my life.

Read more Dads for My Daughters

Here, with a little help from these men, are Ten Lessons for My Daughters.

1. Be a traveler, not a tourist

A tourist takes the easy road. A traveler seeks out the challenging path. A tourist stays on the bus. A traveler jumps in the mud.

2. Always pack your flip-flops

In college, a friend and I backpacked across Asia and got kicked out of many locations because he refused to wear anything but tank tops and flip-flops. Twenty years later he still wears flip-flops! It became his motto. Whatever you do, be true to yourself. Wherever you go, always pack your flip-flops.

3. Don't see the wall, dream big

When you encounter a wall, find a way to get over it, around it, or under it. Whatever you do, don't succumb to it. Don't give into the wall.

If I die, who will teach my daughters?

4. Tend your tadpoles

When I was a boy I caught tadpoles with a friend. Like those tadpoles, we grew legs and hopped off into the world. I had little in common with that friend. Later, when I needed help, my friend was suddenly back. Tend your tadpoles. You never know when you might need a pal.

5. Live the questions

Have patience with the unknown. No matter where you find yourself, if you ask questions, you'll find your way. Don't only seek the answers. Try to love the questions.

6. Harvest miracles

Life is full of everyday miracles. Sometimes it just takes a bad situation to help appreciate them. Even when it's cloudy, keep looking for the rainbow.

7. Use your words

When you were toddlers, we begged you, "Use your words." Yet sometimes we forgot to take our own advice. Even when you're older, don't hide behind silence. When you face a problem, talk it through.

8. Always learn to juggle on the side of the hill

When I was 12, I learned to juggle on the side of a gravel hill with oranges. Every time I dropped an orange it would hit the ground, pulpify, and role to the bottom of the incline. It was a fool's errand. But it worked! If you're going to try something, try it. Don't half commit.

What the girls' mom learned

9. Take a walk with a turtle

In Paris, France, years ago, a new type of pedestrian appeared. He was called a flaneur, one who strolled the arcades. Flaneurs liked to take turtles for walks and let the reptile set the pace. I love this ode to slow-moving. Don't be in a hurry. Behold the world in pause.

10. Hug the monster

Pilots learn that when they face a life-defining challenge, they should not run from their fear. They should embrace it. Hug the monster. Wrestle your fear into submission. Redirect it into a source of resilience and purpose.

Take trips, girls. Take chances. Take off.


当桑杰?古朴达来到我们位于纽约布鲁克林区的家时,他正开始制作一个名为《父亲联盟》的纪录片。我当时便惊讶于我们之间有许多的相同点。我们都花了很多时间“在路上”,包括去伊拉克。我们跟佐治亚州都关系密切,我在萨凡纳长大,而他生长于亚特兰大。

然而,最主要的是,我们都身为人父。我们俩合起来一共有5个5岁以下的女儿。

不可避免地,我们的谈话转向了那些我们想要女儿们知晓的智慧上。在2008年,我找到6位朋友,央他们组成“父亲联盟”,(要他们)在我双胞胎女儿的生命中保驾护航。接着,我询问了每位朋友,希望他能给我的女儿们一条建议。

他们的答案使我惊讶,亦使我感动。他们让我成为了更好的父亲。

而他们也激发了我去写《父亲联盟》,里面包含了这些父亲、我自己的父亲以及我生命中其他父辈形象的生活经验。

以下,是这些男人们为我女儿所提供的十堂课。

1. 做一名旅行者,而非游客

一名游客总是走捷径。而一名旅行者则选择富有挑战的路线。一名游客总是呆在巴士里。而一名旅行者则敢于跳进泥里。

2. 总是带上你的人字拖

大学时候,我和一个朋友去亚洲背包旅行,然后在许多场合都被踢了出来,因为他总是穿着他的背心和人字拖,并且拒绝更换。20年后,他仍然穿着人字拖!这成为他的座右铭。不论做什么事,都要忠于自己的心。无论去哪儿,总要打包好你的人字拖。

3. 别只看到挡在你面前的墙,要有宏图大志

当你遭遇到一堵抵挡你的墙时,想办法克服它,绕过它,或者从下面穿越它。无论你做什么,都不要屈服于它。不要让步于你的障碍物。

4. 照料好你的蝌蚪

当我还是个小男孩时,我和一个朋友捉过蝌蚪。像那些蝌蚪一样,我们也逐渐成长,并跃进了世界。我跟这个朋友之间其实并没有什么共同点。然而,后来当我需要帮助时,我的朋友突然间归来了。照料好你的蝌蚪。你永远不知道你何时需要一个好伙计。

5. 与问题共成长

对未知事物要有耐心。不论你在何处探索自我,只要你提出问题,你就会找到属于你的路。别光顾着找答案。试着去爱那些问题。

6. 收获奇迹

生命中的每一天都充满了奇迹。有时却需要跌倒谷底才能试着欣赏它们。即使是乌云密布,也不要忘记观看彩虹。

7. 用你自己的话

当你还在蹒跚学步时,我们就祈求你,“用你自己的话。”然而有时我们却忘记采用自己的建议。即使当你长大,也不要隐匿于沉默之中。当你面对一个麻烦时,把它摊开来谈。

8. 永远学着在山边玩杂耍

当我12岁的时候,我学着在小石山边拿橙子玩杂耍。每次我弄掉一个橙子,它就会落到地上,摔成浆汁,然后滚到斜坡下面去。这是一场徒劳无功的游戏。但它是成功的!如果你想试着做什么,那就去试试。别半途而废。

9. 和乌龟一起散步

多年以前,在法国巴黎,出现了一种新式的步行方式。它被称作为“漫游”,即闲散地压马路。漫游者们喜欢带着乌龟去散步,然后跟随着乌龟的步伐。我喜欢这种慢步的调子。别来去匆匆。停下脚步来看看这个世界吧。

10. 拥抱怪物

飞行员们会学习到,当他们面临千钧一发的时刻时,他们不该逃避他们的恐惧,而该迎向它。拥抱怪物吧。让你的恐惧屈服于你。再调转方向使它弹回目的地。

女孩们,去旅行。去冒险,去扬帆起航吧。
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2011-02-21 14:03 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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    Dear Daughter:As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.   First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Col

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