《人性的弱点》第6篇第6章 如果你要快乐,别忽略了这些

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小编摘要:如果要保持你家庭的美满、快乐,第六项规则是: 要有礼貌。

Walter Damrosch married the daughter of James G. Blaine, one ofAmerica's greatest orators and one-time candidate for President.Ever since they met many years ago at Andrew Carnegie's home inScotland, the Damroschs have led a conspicuously happy life.The secret?

"Next to care in choosing a partner,". says Mrs Damrosch, "I shouldplace courtesy after marriage. If young wives would only be ascourteous to their husbands as to strangers! Any man will run from ashrewish tongue."

Rudeness is the cancer that devours love. Everyone knows this, yetit's notorious that we are more polite to strangers than we are to ourown relatives. We wouldn't dream of interrupting strangers to say,"Good heavens, are you going to tell that old story again!" Wewouldn't dream of opening our friends' mail without permission, orprying into their personal secrets. And it's only the members of ourown family, those who are nearest and dearest to us, that we dareinsult for their trivial faults.

Again to quote Dorothy Dix: "It is an amazing but true thing thatpractically the only people who ever say mean, insulting, woundingthings to us are those of our own households."

"Courtesy," says Henry Clay Risner, "is that quality of heart thatoverlooks the broken gate and calls attention to the flowers in theyard beyond the gate." Courtesy is just as important to marriage asoil is to your motor.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the beloved "Autocrat of the BreakfastTable," was anything but an autocrat in his own home. In fact, hecarried his consideration so far that when he felt melancholy anddepressed, he tried to conceal his blues from the rest of his family. Itwas bad enough for him to have to bear them himself, he said,without inflicting them on the others as well.

That is what Oliver Wendell Holmes did. But what about the averagemortal? Things go wrong at the office; he loses a sale or gets calledon the carpet by the boss. He develops a devastating headache ormisses the five-fifteen; and he can hardly wait till he gets home梩otake it out on the family.

In Holland you leave your shoes outside on the doorstep before youenter the house. By the Lord Harry, we could learn a lesson from theDutch and shed our workaday troubles before we enter our homes.William James once wrote an essay called "On a Certain Blindness inHuman Beings." It would be worth a special trip to your nearestlibrary to get that essay and read it. "Now the blindness in humanbeings of which this discourse will treat," he wrote, "is the blindnesswith which we all are afflicted in regard to the feelings of creaturesand people different from ourselves."

"The blindness with which we all are afflicted." Many men whowouldn't dream of speaking sharply to a customer, or even to theirpartners in business, think nothing of barking at their wives. Yet, fortheir personal happiness, marriage is far more important to them, farmore vital, than business.

The average man who is happily married is happier by far than thegenius who lives in solitude. Turgenev, the great Russian novelist,was acclaimed all over the civilized world. Yet he said: "I would giveup all my genius, and all my books, if there were only some woman,somewhere, who cared whether or not I came home late for dinner."What are the chances of happiness in marriage anyway? DorothyDix, as we have already said, believes that more than half of themare failures; but Dr Paul Popenoe thinks otherwise. He says: "A manhas a better chance of succeeding in marriage than in any otherenterprise he may go into. Of all the men that go into the grocerybusiness, 70 per cent fail. Of the men and women who entermatrimony, 70 per cent succeed."

Dorothy Dix sums the whole thing up like this: "Compared withmarriage," she says, "being born is a mere episode in our careers,and dying a trivial incident.

"No woman can ever understand why a man doesn't put forth thesame effort to make his home a going concern as he does to makehis business or profession a success.

"But, although to have a contented wife and a peaceful and happyhome means more to a man than to make a million dollars, not oneman in a hundred ever gives any real serious thought or makes anyhonest effort to make his marriage a success. He leaves the mostimportant thing in his life to chance, and he wins out or loses,according to whether fortune is with him or not. Women can neverunderstand why their husbands refuse to handle them diplomatically,when it would be money in their pockets to use the velvet gloveinstead of the strong-arm method.

"Every man knows that he can jolly his wife into doing anything, anddoing without anything. He knows that if he hands her a few cheapcompliments about what a wonderful manager she is, and how shehelps him, she will squeeze every nickel. Every man knows that if hetells his wife how beautiful and lovely she looks in her last year'sdress, she wouldn't trade it for the latest Paris importation. Everyman knows that he can kiss his wife's eyes shut until she will beblind as a bat, and that he has only to give her a warm smack on thelips to make her dumb as an oyster.

"And every wife knows that her husband knows these things abouther, because she has furnished him with a complete diagram abouthow to work her. And she never knows whether to be mad at him ordisgusted with him, because he would rather fight with her and payfor it in having to eat bad meals, and have his money wasted, andbuy her new frocks and limousines and pearls, than to take thetrouble to flatter her a little and treat her the way she is begging tobe treated."

So, if you want to keep your home life happy. Rule 6 is: Be courteous.




























所以,如果要保持你家庭的美满、快乐,第六项规则是: 要有礼貌。
标签:人性 弱点 快乐
2011-02-16 14:51 编辑:kuaileyingyu