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《人性的弱点》第4篇第7章 给狗取个好名字

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小编摘要:如果你要影响一个人的行为,而不引起他的反感,记住第七项规则,那是:给人一个美名让他去保全。

What do you do when a person who has been a goodworker begins to turn in shoddy work? You can fire himor her, but that really doesn’t solve anything. You canberate the worker, but this usually causes resentment.Henry Henke, a service manager for a large truck dealershipin Lowell, Indiana, had a mechanic whosework had become less than satisfactory. Instead ofbawling him out or threatening him, Mr. Henke calledhim into his office and had a heart-to-heart talk withhim.

“Bill,” he said, “you are a fine mechanic. You havebeen in this line of work for a good number of years. Youhave repaired many vehicles to the customers’ satisfaction.In fact, we’ve had a number of compliments aboutthe good work you have done. Yet, of late, the time youtake to complete each job has been increasing and yourwork has not been up to your own old standards. Becauseyou have been such an outstanding mechanic inthe past, I felt sure you would want to know that I amnot happy with this situation, and perhaps jointly wecould find some way to correct the problem.”

Bill responded that he hadn’t realized he had beenfalling down in his duties and assured his boss that thework he was getting was not out of his range of expertiseand he would try to improve in the future.

Did he do it? You can be sure he did. He once againbecame a fast and thorough mechanic. With that reputationMr. Henke had given him to live up to, howcouldhe do anything else but turn out work comparable to thatwhich he had done in the past.

“The average person,” said Samuel Vauclain, thenpresident of the Baldwin Locomotive Works, "can beled readily if you have his or her respect and if you showthat you respect that person for some kind of ability.”

In short, if you want to improve a person in a certainspect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics. Shakespearesaid “Assume a virtue, if you have it not.” And itmight be well to assume and state openly that other peoplehave the virtue you want them to develop. Givethem a fine reputation to live up to, and they will makeprodigious efforts rather than see you disillusioned.

Georgette Leblanc, in her book Souvenirs, My Lifewith Maeterlinck, describes the startling transformationof a humble Belgian Cinderella.

“A servant girl from a neighboring hotel brought mymeals,” she wrote. “She was called ‘Marie the Dishwasher’ because she had started her career as a sculleryassistant. She was a kind of monster, cross-eyed, bandylegged,poor in flesh and spirit.

“One day, while she was holding my plate of macaroniin her red hand, I said to her point-blank, ‘Marie, you donot know what treasures are within you.’

“Accustomed to holding back her emotion, Mariewaited a few moments, not daring to risk the slightestgesture for fear of a castastrophe. Then she put the dishon the table, sighed and said ingenuously, ‘Madame, Iwould never have believed it.’ She did not doubt, shedid not ask a question. She simply went back to thekitchen and repeated what I had said, and such is theforce of faith that no one made fun of her. From that dayon, she was even given a certain consideration. But themost curious change of all occurred in the humble Marieherself. Believing she was the tabernacle ofunseen marvels, she began taking care of herface and body so carefully that her starved youthseemed to bloom andmodestly hide her plainness.

“Two months later, she announced her coming marriagewith the nephew of the chef. ‘I’m going to be alady,’ she said, and thanked me. A small phrase hadchanged her entire life.”

Georgette Leblanc had given “Marie the Dishwasher”a reputation to live up to - and that reputation had transformedher.

Bill Parker, a sales representative for a food companyin Daytona Beach, Florida, was very excited about thenew line of products his company was introducing andwas upset when the manager of a large independentfood market turned down the opportunity to carry it inhis store. Bill brooded all day over this rejection anddecided to return to the store before he went home thatevening and try again.

“Jack,” he said, “since I left this morning I realized Ihadn’t given you the entire picture of our new line, andI would appreciate some of your time to tell you aboutthe points I omitted. I have respected the fact that youare always willing to listen and are big enough to changeyour mind when the facts warrant a change.”

Could Jack refuse to give him another hearing? Notwith that reputation to live up to.

One morning Dr. Martin Fitzhugh, a dentist in Dublin,Ireland, was shocked when one of his patientspointed out to him that the metal cup holder which shewas using to rinse her mouth was not very clean. True,the patient drank from the paper cup, not the holder, butit certainly was not professional to use tarnished equipment.

When the patient left, Dr. Fitzhugh retreated to hisprivate office to write a note to Bridgit, the charwoman,who came twice a week to clean his office. Hewrote:

My dear Bridgit,

I see you so seldom, I thought I’d take the time to thankyou for the fine job of cleaning you’ve been doing. By theway, I thought I’d mention that since two hours, twice aweek, is a very limited amount of time, please feel free towork an extra half hour from time to time if you feel youneed to do those “once-in-a-while” things like polishingthe cup holders and the like. I, of course, will pay you forthe extra time.

“The next day, when I walked into my office,” Dr.Fitzhugh reported, "My desk had been polished to amirror-like finish, as had my chair, which I nearly slidout of. When I went into the treatment room I found the shiniest, cleanest chrome-plated cup holder I had everseen nestled in its receptacle. I had given my char-womana fine reputation to live up to, and because ofthis small gesture she outperformed all her past efforts.How much additional time did she spend on this? That’sright-none at all ."

There is an old saying: “Give a dog a bad name andyou may as well hang him.” But give him a good name- and see what happens!

When Mrs. Ruth Hopkins, a fourth-grade teacher inBrooklyn, New York, looked at her class roster the firstday of school, her excitement and joy of starting a newterm was tinged with anxiety. In her class this year shewould have Tommy T., the school’s most notorious “badboy.” His third-grade teacher had constantly complainedabout Tommy to colleagues, the principal andanyone else who would listen. He was not just mischievous;he caused serious discipline problems in the class,picked fights with the boys, teased the girls, was fresh tothe teacher, and seemed to get worse as he grew older.His only redeeming feature was his ability to learn rapidlyand master the-school work easily.

Mrs. Hopkins decided to face the “Tommy problem”immediately. When she greeted her new students, shemade little comments to each of them: “Rose, that’s apretty dress you are wearing,” “Alicia, I hear you drawbeautifully.” When she came to Tommy, she looked himstraight in the eyes and said, “Tommy, I understand youare a natural leader. I’m going to depend on you to helpme make this class the best class in the fourth grade thisyear.” She reinforced this over the first few days by complimentingTommy on everything he did and commentingon how this showed what a good student he was.With that reputation to live up to, even a nine-year-oldcouldn’t let her down - and he didn’t.

If you want to excel in that difficult leadership role ofchanging the attitude or behavior of others,use . . .

PRINCIPLE 7 Give the other person a fine reputation tolive up to.


我的朋友琴德太太,住在纽约白利斯德路,她刚雇好一个女佣,告诉她下星期一开始来工作。琴德太大打电话给那女佣以前的女主人,那太太指这个女佣并不好。当那女佣来上班的时候,琴德太太说:

「妮莉,前天我打电话给你以前做事的那家太太。她说妳诚实可靠,会做菜,会照顾孩子,不过她说你平时很随便,总不能将房间整理干净。

我相信她说的是没有根据的,妳穿的很整洁,这是谁都可以看出来的……我可以打赌,妳收拾房间,一定同你的人一样整洁干净。我也相信,我们一定会相处得很好。」

是的,她们果然相处得非常好,妮莉不得不顾全她的名誉,所以琴德太太所讲的,她真的做到了。她把屋子收拾得干干净净,她宁愿自己多费些时间,辛苦些,也不愿意破坏琴德太太对她的好印象。

包德文铁路机车工厂总经理华克伦,他说过这样的话:一般人,都会愿意接受指导,如果你得到他的敬重,并且对他的某种能力表示敬重的话。」

我们也可以这样说,如果你想改善一个人某方面的缺点,你要表示出,他已经具有这方面的优点了。莎士比亚说:

「如果你没有某种美德,就假定你有。」是好是「假定」对方有你所要激发的美德,给他一个美好的名誉去表现,他会尽其所能,也不愿意使你感到失望的。

雷布利克在她的「我和梅脱林克的生活」一书中,曾叙述一个低卑的比利时女佣的惊人改变。

她这样写着:「隔壁饭店里有个女佣,每天替我送饭菜来,她的名字叫、洗碗的玛丽。,因为她开始工作时,是厨房里的一个助手。她那副长相真古怪一对斗鸡眼,两条弯弯的腿,身上瘦得没有四两肉,精神也是显得无精打采、迷迷糊糊的。

有一天,当她端着一盘面来给我时,我坦白的对她这样说:「玛丽,妳不知妳有内在的财富?」

玛丽平时似乎有约束自己感情的习惯,生怕会招来什么灾祸,不敢做出一点喜欢的样子,她把面放到桌上后,才叹了口气说:『太太,我是从来不敢想到那些的。。她没有任何怀疑,也没有提出更多的问题,她只是回到厨房,反复思索我所说的话,深信这不是人家开她的玩笑。

就从那天起,她自己似乎也考虑到那回事了;在她谦卑的心理,已起了一种神奇的变化。她相信自己是看不见的暗室之宝;她开始注意修饰她的面部和身体。她那原来枯萎了的青春,渐渐洋溢出青春般的气息来。

两个月后,当我要离开那地方时,她突然告诉我,她就要跟厨师的侄儿结婚了。她悄悄的告诉我:『我要去做人家的太太了!。她向我道谢我只用了这样简短的一句话,就改变

了她的人生。」

雷布利克给「洗碗的玛丽」,一个美好的名誉,而那个名誉改变了她的一生。

当利士纳要影响在法国的美国士兵的行为时,也用了同样的方法。哈巴德将军--一位最受人们欢迎的美国将军,他曾经告诉利士纳说,在他看来,在法国的二百万美国兵,是他所接触过最合乎理想、最整洁的队伍。

这是不是过份的赞许?或许是的。可是我们看利士纳如何应用它!

利士纳说:「我从未忘记把哈巴德将军所说的话,告诉士兵们,我并没有怀疑这话的真实性,即使并不真实,那些士兵们知道哈巴德将军的意见后,他们会努力去达到那个水准。」

有这样一句古语:「如果不给一条狗取个好听的名字,不如把牠勒死算了。」

几乎包括了富人、穷人、乞丐、盗贼,每一个人都愿意竭尽其所能,保持别人赠予他的「诚实」的美誉。

「星星监狱」狱长洛斯说:

「如果你必须去对付一个盗贼、骗子,只有一个办法可以制服他,那就是待他如同一个诚会、体面的绅士一样,假设他是位规规矩矩的正人君子。他会感到受宠若惊,他会很骄傲的认为有人信任他。」

那句话太重要,太好了!我们不妨再说一遍:

「如果你必须去对付一个盗贼、骗子,祇有一个办法可以制服他,那就是待他如同一个诚实、体面的绅士,假设他是位规规矩矩的正人君子。他会感到受宠若惊,他会很骄傲的认为有人信任他。」

所以,如果你要影响一个人的行为,而不引起他的反感,记住第七项规则,那是:

给人一个美名让他去保全。
标签:人性 弱点 取名
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2011-02-09 10:36 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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