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《人性的弱点》第4篇第5章 让对方保持他的面子

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小编摘要:使人同意你的第4个原则:保全他人的面子。

Years ago the General Electric Company was faced withthe delicate task of removing Charles Steinmetz fromthe head of a department. Steinmetz, a genius of the firstmagnitude when it came to electricity, was a failure asthe head of the calculating department. Yet the companydidn’t dare offend the man. He was indispensable - andhighly sensitive. So they gave him a new title. Theymade him Consulting Engineer of the General ElectricCompany - a new title for work he was already doing -and let someone else head up the department.

Steinmetz was happy.

So were the officers of G.E. They had gently maneuveredtheir most temperamental star, and they had doneit without a storm - by letting him save face.

Letting one save face! How important, how vitally importantthat is! And how few of us ever stop to think ofit! We ride roughshod over the feelings of others, gettingour own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing achild or an employee in front of others, without evenconsidering the hurt to the other person’s pride.Whereas a few minutes’ thought, a consideratword ortwo, a genuine understanding of the other person’s attitude,would go so far toward alleviating the sting!

Let’s remember that the next time we are faced withthe distasteful necessity of discharging or reprimandingan employee.

“Firing employees is not much fun. Getting fired iseven less fun.” (I’m quoting now from a letter writtenme by Marshall A. Granger, a certified public accountant.)“Our business is mostly seasonal. Therefore wehave to let a lot of people go after the income tax rush isover.

It’s a byword in our profession that no one enjoyswielding the ax. Consequently, the custom has developed of getting it over as soon as possible, and usuallyin the following way: ‘Sit down, Mr. Smith. The season’sover, and we don’t seem to see any more assignments foryou. Of course, you understood you were only employedfor the busy season anyhow, etc., etc.’

“The effect on these people is one of disappointmentand a feeling of being ‘let down.’ Most of them are in theaccounting field for life, and they retain no particularlove for the firm that drops them so casually.

“I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel gowith a little more tact and consideration. So I call eachone in only after carefully thinking over his or her workduring the winter. And I’ve said something like this:‘Mr. Smith, you’ve done a fine job (if he has). That timewe sent you to Newark, you had a tough assignment.You were on the spot, but you came through with flyingcolors, and we want you to know the firm is proud ofyou. You’ve got the stuff - you’re going a long way,wherever you’re working. This firm believes in you, andis rooting for you, and we don’t want you to forget it.’

“Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better aboutbeing fired. They don’t feel ‘let down.’ They know if wehad work for them, we’d keep them on. And when weneed them again, they come to us with a keen personalaffection.”

At one session of our course, two class members discussedthe negative effects of faultfinding versus thepositive effects of letting the other person save face.

Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incidentthat occurred in his company: “At one of our productionmeetings, a vice president was asking verypointed questions of one of our production supervisorsregarding a production process. His tone of voice wasaggressive and aimed at pointing out faulty performanceon the part of the supervisor. Not wanting to be embarrassedin front of his peers, the supervisor was evasivein his responses. This caused the vice president to losehis temper, berate the supervisor and accuse him oflying.

“Any working relationship that might have existed prior to this encounter was destroyed in a few brief moments.This supervisor, who was basically a goodworker, was useless to our company from that time on. Afew months later he left our firm and went to work for acompetitor, where I understand he is doing a fine job.”

Another class member, Anna Mazzone, related how asimilar incident had occurred at her job - but what adifference in approach and results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketingspecialist for a food packer, was given her firstmajor assignment - the test-marketing of a new product.She told the class: “When the results of the test came in,I was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning,and the entire test had to be done all over again.To make this worse, I had no time to discuss it with myboss before the meeting in which I was to make myreport on the project.

“When I was called on to give the report, I was shakingwith fright. I had all I could do to keep from breakingdown, but I resolved I would not cry and have all thosemen make remarks about women not being able to handlea management job because they are too emotional. Imade my report briefly and stated that due to an error Iwould repeat the study before the next meeting. I satdown, expecting my boss to blow up.

“Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarkedthat it was not unusual for a person to make an error ona new project and that he had confidence that the repeatsurvey would be accurate and meaningful to the company.He Assured me, in front of all my colleagues, thathe had faith in me and I knew I had done my best, andthat my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, wasthe reason for the failure.

I left that meeting with my head in the air andwith the determination that I would never let that bossof mine down again.”

Even if we are right and the other person is definitelywrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to loseface. The legendary French aviation pioneer and authorAntoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: "I have no right to sayor do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes.What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is acrime.”

A real leader will always follow . . .

PRINCIPLE 5 Let the other person save face.


数年前,美国奇异电气公司遭遇到一桩很不容易应付的事,就是他们打算撤去斯坦米滋的部长职位。

对于电学方面的学识,斯坦米滋可以算得上是位一等的人才。可是,他担任了会计部的部长,却等于废物。由于斯坦米滋是电学方面不可多得的人才,而且又很敏感,使公司不敢得罪他。所以,公司特别给他一个新头衔,请他担任奇异公司顾问工程师,而另派他人,担任那一部的部长职位。

斯坦米滋很高兴!

奇异公司的主管人员,也很满意。由于他们在平和的气氛中,调动了一位有怪癖的高级职员--而他们之间,并没有发生了任何不愉快的事,因为他们让斯坦米滋顾全了他的面子

顾全到一个人的面子,那是多么重要!可是我们之间,很少有人想到过。我们蹂躏别人的感情,不留一丝的余地,找别人的错处,或者加以恐吓!当着别人面前,批评他的孩子,或是他所雇用的佣工,毫不顾虑到别人的自尊!

其实,我们只需要花钱分钟的时间想一想,再说一、两句体恤的话,谅解到对方的观点

,就可以解除很多刺痛。

下次如果我们需要辞退佣人或是雇员时,应当记住怎样做。

现在我引述会计师「格雷琪」给我的一封信:「辞退雇员,不是一件有趣的事。被辞退的人,当然更不觉有趣可言了。我负责的业务,都是有季节性的,所以每年的三月,我都需要辞退一批雇员。

在我们这一行业中,有一句俗话--『没有人愿意掌管斧头」。结果,就形成一种习惯,愈迅速解决愈好。在我解聘一位雇员时,总是这样的说:『请坐,现在季节已过,我们似乎已没有什么工作给你做了。当然,我相信你事前也知道,我们只是在忙不过来的时候,才请你们来帮忙。」

我所请的这些话,对这些人的影响,是一种失望,一种被人辞退的感觉。他们当中多数是终身在会计行业中讨生活的。他们对这些草率辞退他们的机构,并不显得特别的喜爱。

最近,当我要辞退那些额外雇员时,就稍微用上一点手腕,我把每人在这一季中的工作成绩细看过后,才召见他们。我对他们的谈话是这样的:

『某某先生,你这一季的工作成绩很好。前次,我派你到组瓦克城办的那件事,的确很难,但是你却办得有声有色,公司有你这样的人才,实在幸运。你很能干,你的前途远大,无论到什么地方都会有人欢迎你的。公司很相信你,很感激你,希望你有空常来玩!」

结果如何呢?这些被辞退的人,心情似乎舒服多了,他们不再觉得是受了委屈。他们知道以后如果这里再有工作时,还会请他们来的。当我们第二季又请他们来时,他们对我们这

家公司,更加有亲切的感觉。

已故的马洛先生,有一种奇妙的才能,他专门劝解两个水火不兼容的生死仇家……他是如何做的呢?他很仔细的找出双方都有理的事实,对于这一点他加以赞许,直到双方满意为止。并且不论最后如何解决,他决不说任何一方有错。

每个仲裁者都懂得让人保全他们的面子。

世界上真正伟大的人物,他们不会只注意自己某方面的成就。例如有这样一件事实:

经过数百年的敌对仇视,土耳其人在一九二二年,决定要把希腊人驱逐出境。

土耳其总统凯末尔,沉痛的向士兵说:「你们的目的地,就是地中海。」就这样一句话,一项近代史上最激烈的战争,就开始了这场战争的结果,土耳其获胜,当希腊的两位将军「铁考彼斯」和「狄阿尼」向凯未尔请降时,沿途受到土耳其民众的辱骂。

可是,凯末尔并没有以胜利者自居,显现出一副骄傲的态度来。

他握着他们的手说:「两位请坐,你们一定感到疲倦了!」凯末尔谈过战争情况后,为了要减少他们心理上的苦痛,就即说:「战争就像一场竞技比赛,有时候高手也会遭遇到失败的。」

凯末尔虽然获得了光荣的胜利,可是他记住这项重要的规则……也就是我们第五章里的规则,那是:顾全对方的面子。
标签:人性 弱点 面子
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2011-02-09 10:21 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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