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《人性的弱点》第四篇 第4章 没有人喜欢接受命令

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小编摘要:要改变一个人的意志,而不触犯或引起反感,第四项规则是:发问时,别用直接的命令。

I once had the pleasure of dining with Miss Ida Tarbell,the dean of American biographers. When I told her I was writing this book, we began discussing this all-importantsubject of getting along with people, and she told methat while she was writing her biography of Owen D.Young, she interviewed a man who had sat for threeyears in the same office with Mr. Young. This man declaredthat during all that time he had never heard OwenD. Young give a direct order to anyone. He always gavesuggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young never said, forexample, “Do this or do that,” or “Don’t do this or don’tdo that.” He would say, “You might consider this,” or“Do you think that would work?” Frequently he wouldsay, after he had dictated a letter, “What do you think ofthis?” In looking over a letter of one of his assistants, hewould say, “Maybe if we were to phrase it this way itwould be better.” He always gave people the opportunityto do things themselves; he never told his assistantsto do things; he let them do them, let them learn fromtheir mistakes.

A technique like that makes it easy for a person tocorrect errors. A technique like that saves a person’spride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. Itencourages cooperation instead of rebellion.

Resentment caused by a brash order may last a longtime -even if the order was given to correct an obviouslybad situation. Dan Santarelli, a teacher at a vocationalschool in Wyoming, Pennsylvania, told one ofour classes how one of his students had blocked the entranceway to one of the school’s shops by illegally parkinghis car in it. One of the other instructors stormed intothe classroom and asked in an arrogant tone, “Whose caris blocking the driveway?" When the student whoowned the car responded, the instructor screamed:“Move that car and move it right now, or I’ll wrap achain around it and drag it out of there.”

Now that student was wrong. The car should not havebeen parked there. But from that day on, not only didthat student resent the instructor’s action, but all thestudents in the class did everything they could to givethe instructor a hard time and make his job unpleasant.

How could he have handled it differently? If he hadasked in a friendly way, “Whose car is in the driveway?”and then suggested that if it were moved, other cars could get in and out, the student would have gladlymoved it and neither he nor his classmates would havebeen upset and resentful.

Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable;it often stimulates the creativity of the personswhom you ask. People are more likely to accept an orderif they have had a part in the decision that caused theorder to be issued.

When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa,the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializingin precision machine parts, had the opportunityto accept a very large order, he was convinced that hewould not meet the promised delivery date. The workalready scheduled in the shop and the short completiontime needed for this order made it seem impossible forhim to accept the order.

Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their workand rush the order through, he called everybody together,explained the situation to them, and told themhow much it would mean to the company and to them ifthey could make it possible to produce the order ontime. Then he started asking questions:

“Is there anything we can do to handle this order?”

“Can anyone think of different ways to process itthrough the shop that will make it possible to take theorder?”

“Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnelassignments that would help?”

The employees came up with many ideas and insistedthat he take the order. They approached it with a “Wecan do it” attitude, and the order was accepted, producedand delivered on time.

An effective leader will use . . .

PRINCIPLE 4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.


我最近很荣幸,能同美国名传记作家「泰白尔」女士,一起用餐。当我告诉她,我正在写这本书的时候,我们开始讨论到与人相处的重要问题。她告诉我,当她撰写杨欧文传记时,曾访问一位跟杨欧文先生,同一办公室三年的人。

那人说,在这三年的长时间中,他从没有听到杨欧文向任何一个人,说出一句直接命今的话。杨欧文的措辞,始终是建议,而不是命令.

例如,杨欧文从没有说过:「做这个,做那个。」或者是「别做这个,别做那个。」他平时对人的措辞是:「你不妨可以考虑一下。」或者是「你认为那个有效吗?」

当他拟完一份信稿后,经常会这样问:「你以为如何?」当他看过助理写的一封信后,他会这样说:「或者我们这样措辞,会比较好一点。」他总是给人自己去做事的机会;他决不告诉他的助手应该怎样去做,而让他们从错误中去学习经验。

像杨欧文的那种方法,使人很容易改正他原来的错误。运用那种方法,他保持了对方的自尊,而且使那人有了自重感。那种方法,也很容易取得对方的真诚合作,而对方不会有任何的反抗,或是拒绝。

所以要改变一个人的意志,而不触犯或引起反感,第四项规则是:

发问时,别用直接的命令。
标签:人性 命令
1
2011-01-28 13:51 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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