《人性的弱点》第2篇 第3章 你要避免发生麻烦，就请这样做
Back in 1898, a tragic thing happened in RocklandCounty, New York. A child had died, and on this particularday the neighbors were preparing to go to the funeral.
Jim Farley went out to the barn to hitch up hishorse. The ground was covered with snow, the air was
cold and snappy; the horse hadn’t been exercised fordays; and as he was led out to the watering trough, hewheeled playfully, kicked both his heels high in the air,and killed Jim Farley. So the little village of Stony Pointhad two funerals that week instead of one.
Jim Farley left behind him a widow and three boys,and a few hundred dollars in insurance.
His oldest boy, Jim, was ten, and he went to work in abrickyard, wheeling sand and pouring it into the moldsand turning the brick on edge to be dried by the sun.This boy Jim never had a chance to get much education.But with his natural geniality, he had a flair for makingpeople like him, so he went into politics, and as theyears went by, he developed an uncanny ability for rememberingpeople’s names.
He never saw the inside of a high school; but beforehe was forty-six years of age, four colleges had honoredhim with degrees and he had become chairman of theDemocratic National Committee and Postmaster Generalof the United States.
I once interviewed Jim Farley and asked him the secretof his success. He said, “Hard work,” and I said,“Don’t be funny.”
He then asked me what I thought was the reason forhis success. I replied: "I understand you can call tenthousand people by their first names.”
“No. You are wrong, " he said. “I can call fifty thousandpeople by their first names.”
Make no mistake about it. That ability helped Mr. Farleyput Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House whenhe managed Roosevelt’s campaign in 1932.
During the years that Jim Farley traveled as a salesmanfor a gypsum concern, and during the years that heheld office as town clerk in Stony Point, he built up asystem for remembering names.
In the beginning, it was a very simple one. Wheneverhe met a new acquaintance, he found out his or her complete
name and some facts about his or her family, businessand political opinions. He fixed all these facts wellin mind as part of the picture, and the next time he metthat person, even if it was a year later, he was able toshake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about thehollyhocks in the backyard. No wonder he developed afollowing!
For months before Roosevelt’s campaign for Presidentbegan, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day topeople all over the western and northwestern states.Then he hopped onto a train and in nineteen days coveredtwenty states and twelve thousand miles, travelingby buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would dropinto town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea ordinner, and give them a “heart-to-heart talk.” Then he’ddash off again on another leg of his journey.
As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one personin each town he had visited, asking for a list of allthe guests to whom he had talked. The final list containedthousands and thousands of names; yet each personon that list was paid the subtle flattery of getting apersonal letter from James Farley. These letters began“Dear Bill” or “Dear Jane,” and they were alwayssigned "Jim."
Jim Farley discovered early in life that the averageperson is more interested in his or her own name thanin all the other names on earth put together. Rememberthat name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtleand very effective compliment. But forget it or misspellit - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.For example, I once organized a public-speakingcourse in Paris and sent form letters to all the Americanresidents in the city. French typists with apparently littleknowledge of English filled in the names and naturallythey made blunders. One man, the manager of alarge American bank in Paris, wrote me a scathing rebukebecause his name had been misspelled.
Sometimes it is difficult to remember a name, particularlyif it is hard to pronounce. Rather than even try tolearn it, many people ignore it or call the person by aneasy nickname. Sid Levy called on a customer for sometime whose name was Nicodemus Papadoulos. Most
people just called him “Nick.” Levy told us: “I made aspecial effort to say his name over several times to myselfbefore I made my call. When I greeted him by hisfull name: 'Good afternoon, Mr. Nicodemus Papadoulos,’he was shocked. For what seemed like several minutesthere was no reply from him at all. Finally, he saidwith tears rolling down his cheeks, ‘Mr. Levy, in all thefifteen years I have been in this country, nobody hasever made the effort to call me by my right name.’ "
What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie’s success?
He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knewlittle about the manufacture of steel. He had hundredsof people working for him who knew far more aboutsteel than he did.
But he knew how to handle people, and that is whatmade him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization,a genius for leadership. By the time he was ten,he too had discovered the astounding importance peopleplace on their own name. And he used that discovery towin cooperation. To illustrate: When he was a boy backin Scotland, he got hold of a rabbit, a mother rabbit.Presto! He soon had a whole nest of little rabbits - andnothing to feed them. But he had a brilliant idea. He toldthe boys and girls in the neighborhood that if they wouldgo out and pull enough clover and dandelions to feedthe rabbits, he would name the bunnies in their honor.
The plan worked like magic, and Carnegie never forgotit.
Years later, he made millions by using the same psychologyin business. For example, he wanted to sellsteel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad. J. Edgar Thomsonwas the president of the Pennsylvania Railroad then.So Andrew Carnegie built a huge steel mill in Pittsburghand called it the “Edgar Thomson Steel Works.”
Here is a riddle. See if you can guess it. When thePennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do yousuppose J. Edgar Thomson bought them?. . , FromSears, Roebuck? No. No. You’re wrong. Guess again.When Carnegie and George Pullman were battlingeach other for supremacy in the railroad sleeping-car
business, the Steel King again remembered the lessonof the rabbits.
The Central Transportation Company, which AndrewCarnegie controlled, was fighting with the company thatPullman owned. Both were struggling to get the sleeping-car business of the Union Pacific Railroad, buckingeach other, slashing prices, and destroving all chance ofprofit. Both Carnegie and Pullman had gone to NewYork to see the board of directors of the Union Pacific.Meeting one evening in the St. Nicholas Hotel, Carnegiesaid: “Good evening, Mr. Pullman, aren’t we makinga couple of fools of ourselves?”
“What do you mean.?" Pullman demanded.
Then Carnegie expressed what he had on his mind - amerger of their two interests. He pictured in glowingterms the mutual advantages of working with, instead ofagainst, each other. Pullman listened attentively, but hewas not wholly convinced. Finally he asked, “Whatwould you call the new company?” and Carnegie repliedpromptly: “Why, the Pullman Palace Car Company,of course.”
Pullman’s face brightened. “Come into my room,” hesaid. “Let’s talk it over.” That talk made industrial history.
This policy of remembering and honoring the namesof his friends and business associates was one of thesecrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership. He was proudof the fact that he could call many of his factory workersby their first names, and he boasted that while he waspersonally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flamingsteel mills.
Benton Love, chairman of Texas Commerce Banc-shares, believes that the bigger a corporation gets, thecolder it becomes. " One way to warm it up,” he said, “isto remember people’s names. The executive who tellsme he can’t remember names is at the same time tellingme he can’t remember a significant part of his businessand is operating on quicksand.”
Karen Kirsech of Rancho Palos Verdes, California, aflight attendant for TWA, made it a practice to learn the
names of as many passengers in her cabin as possibleand use the name when serving them. This resulted inmany compliments on her service expressed both to herdirectly and to the airline. One passenger wrote: "Ihaven’t flown TWA for some time, but I’m going to startflying nothing but TWA from now on. You make me feelthat your airline has become a very personalized airlineand that is important to me.”
People are so proud of their names that they strive toperpetuate them at any cost. Even blustering, hard-boiledold P. T. Barnum, the greatest showman of histime, disappointed because he had no sons to carry onhis name, offered his grandson, C. H. Seeley, $25,000dollars if he would call himself “Barnum” Seeley.
For many centuries, nobles and magnates supportedartists, musicians and authors so that their creative workswould be dedicated to them.
Libraries and museums owe their richest collectionsto people who cannot bear to think that their namesmight perish from the memory of the race. The NewYork Public Library has its Astor and Lenox collections.The Metropolitan Museum perpetuates the names ofBenjamin Altman and J. P. Morgan. And nearly everychurch is beautified by stained-glass windows commemoratingthe names of their donors. Many of the buildingson the campus of most universities bear the names ofdonors who contributed large sums of money for thishonor.
Most people don’t remember names, for the simplereason that they don’t take the time and energy necessaryto concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly intheir minds. They make excuses for themselves; they aretoo busy.
But they were probably no busier than Franklin D.Roosevelt, and he took time to remember and recalleven the names of mechanics with whom he came intocontact.
To illustrate: The Chrysler organization built a specialcar for Mr. Roosevelt, who could not use a standard carbecause his legs were paralyzed. W. F. Chamberlain and
a mechanic delivered it to the White House. I have infront of me a letter from Mr. Chamberlain relating hisexperiences. "I taught President Roosevelt how to handlea car with a lot of unusual gadgets, but he taught mea lot about the fine art of handling people.
"When I called at the White House,” Mr. Chamberlainwrites, “the President was extremely pleasant andcheerful. He called me by name, made me feel verycomfortable, and particularly impressed me with the factthat he was vitally interested in things I had to show himand tell him. The car was so designed that it could beoperated entirely by hand. A crowd gathered around tolook at the car; and he remarked: ‘I think it is marvelous.All you have to do is to touch a button and it moves awayand you can drive it without effort. I think it is grand - Idon’t know what makes it go. I’d love to have the time totear it down and see how it works.’
“When Roosevelt’s friends and associates admired themachine, he said in their presence: ‘Mr. Chamberlain, Icertainly appreciate all the time and effort you havespent in developing this car. It is a mighty fine job.’ Headmired the radiator, the special rear-vision mirror andclock, the special spotlight, the kind of upholstery, thesitting position of the driver’s seat, the special suitcasesin the trunk with his monogram on each suitcase. Inother words, he took notice of every detail to which heknew I had given considerable thought. He made a pointof bringing these various pieces of equipment to the attentionof Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Perkins, the Secretary ofLabor, and his secretary. He even brought the old WhiteHouse porter into the picture by saying, ‘George, youwant to take particularly good care of the suitcases.’
“When the driving lesson was finished, the Presidentturned to me and said: ‘Well, Mr. Chamberlain, I havebeen keeping the Federal Reserve Board waiting thirtyminutes. I guess I had better get back to work.’
"I took a mechanic with me to the White House. Hewas introduced to Roosevelt when he arrived. He didn’ttalk to the President, and Roosevelt heard his name onlyonce. He was a shy chap, and he kept in the background.But before leaving us, the President looked for the mechanic,shook his hand, called him by name, and
thanked him for coming to Washington. And there wasnothing perfunctory about his thanks. He meant what hesaid. I could feel that.
“A few days after returning to New York, I got an autographedphotograph of President Roosevelt and a littlenote of thanks again expressing his appreciation for myassistance. How he found time to do it is a mystery tome ."
Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest,most obvious and most important ways of gaining goodwill was by remembering names and making people feelimportant - yet how many of us do it?
Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chata few minutes and can’t even remember his or her nameby the time we say goodbye.
One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: “Torecall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget it isoblivion.”
And the ability to remember names is almost as importantin business and social contacts as it is in politics.
Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephewof the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all hisroyal duties he could remember the name of every personhe met.
His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the namedistinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the nameclearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say,“How is it spelled?”
During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeatthe name several times, and tried to associate it in hismind with the person’s features, expression and generalappearance.
2011-01-13 10:16 编辑：kuaileyingyu