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《人性的弱点》第2篇 第3章 你要避免发生麻烦,就请这样做

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小编摘要:如果你要人们喜欢你,你要记住你所接触中,每一个人的姓名。

那是在一八九八年,纽约洛克雷村发生的一桩悲剧。那一里有个小孩去世,出葬的那天,村?的人,都准备去送殡。汇阿雷也是送殡行列中的一个,他去马棚里拉出一匹马来………这时正值寒冬的时候,地上积了一层厚厚的雪。那匹马关在马棚里已经有多天了,牠出来外面,高兴非凡,身体打转玩着,把两条腿高高的举了起来,汇阿雷一不小心,给马脚活活踢死。所以洛克雷村一晏,就在那一个星期里,举行了两桩葬礼。
Back in 1898, a tragic thing happened in RocklandCounty, New York. A child had died, and on this particularday the neighbors were preparing to go to the funeral.
  汇阿雷去世,留给他妻子和三个孩子的,仅是几百元的保险金。
  Jim Farley went out to the barn to hitch up hishorse. The ground was covered with snow, the air was
  汇阿雷的长子吉姆才只十岁,为了家?的生活,就去一家砖厂工作………他把沙土倒人模子?,压成砖瓦,再拿去太阳下晒干。吉姆没有机会受更多的教育,可是他有爱尔兰人达观的性格,使人们自然地喜欢他,愿意跟他接近。所以,他后来参加政治,经过多年后,逐渐养成了一种善于记忆人们名宇的特殊才能。
  cold and snappy; the horse hadn’t been exercised fordays; and as he was led out to the watering trough, hewheeled playfully, kicked both his heels high in the air,and killed Jim Farley. So the little village of Stony Pointhad two funerals that week instead of one.
  吉姆没有进过中学,可是到他四十六岁,已有四个大学赠予他荣誉学位。他当选过民主党全国委员会主席,担任过美国邮务总长。
  Jim Farley left behind him a widow and three boys,and a few hundred dollars in insurance.
  有一次,我尊程去拜访吉姆先生,请他告诉我他成功的秘诀。他简短的告诉我:「苦干!」我对他这个回答,当然不会感到满意。所以我摇摇头说:「吉姆先生,别开玩笑。」
  His oldest boy, Jim, was ten, and he went to work in abrickyard, wheeling sand and pouring it into the moldsand turning the brick on edge to be dried by the sun.This boy Jim never had a chance to get much education.But with his natural geniality, he had a flair for makingpeople like him, so he went into politics, and as theyears went by, he developed an uncanny ability for rememberingpeople’s names.
  他问我:「你认为我成功的原因是什么呢?」「吉姆先生,我知道你能叫出一万个人的名字来。」我这样说。
  He never saw the inside of a high school; but beforehe was forty-six years of age, four colleges had honoredhim with degrees and he had become chairman of theDemocratic National Committee and Postmaster Generalof the United States.
  「不,你错了!」吉姆对我说:「我大约可以叫出五万个人的名字。」
  I once interviewed Jim Farley and asked him the secretof his success. He said, “Hard work,” and I said,“Don’t be funny.”
  别对这个感到惊奇,吉姆有这种本领,才能帮助罗斯福进了白官。
  He then asked me what I thought was the reason forhis success. I replied: "I understand you can call tenthousand people by their first names.”
  当吉姆在一家公司做推销员那些年中,他还担任了洛克雷村里的书记,使他养成了一种记忆别人姓名的习惯………那种记忆的方法。
  “No. You are wrong, " he said. “I can call fifty thousandpeople by their first names.”
  吉姆的这套方法并不困难。他每逢遇到一个新朋友时,就问清楚对方的姓名,家里的人口多少,那人的职业,和对当前政治的见解。他问清楚这些后,就牢牢记在心里。下次遇到这人,即使已相隔了一年多的时间,还能拍拍那人的肩膀,问候他家里的妻子儿女,甚至于还可以谈谈那人家里后院的花草。
  Make no mistake about it. That ability helped Mr. Farleyput Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House whenhe managed Roosevelt’s campaign in 1932.
  罗斯福开始竞选总统前几个月,吉姆一天要写数百封信,分发给美国西部、西北部各州的熟人、朋友。继后,他搭乘火车,在十九天的旅途中,走遍美国二十个州,经过一万两千哩的行程。他除了火车外,还用其它交通工具,像轻便马车、汽车、轮船等。吉姆每到一个城镇,都去找熟人吃早餐,午餐,茶点,晚餐,作一次极诚恳的谈话,接着再赶往他下一段的行程。
  During the years that Jim Farley traveled as a salesmanfor a gypsum concern, and during the years that heheld office as town clerk in Stony Point, he built up asystem for remembering names.
  当他回到东部时,立即给在各城镇的朋友,每人一封信,请他们把曾经谈过话的客人名单寄来给他。那些不计其数的名单上的人,他们都得到吉姆亲密而极礼貌的覆函。
  In the beginning, it was a very simple one. Wheneverhe met a new acquaintance, he found out his or her complete
  士口姆早就发现,一般人对自己的姓名,比杷世界上所有的姓名堆在一起的总数,还感到重要,和关心。把一个人的姓名记住,很自然的叫出口来,你已对他含有微妙的恭维、赞赏的意味。若反过来讲,把那人的姓名忘记,或是叫错了,不但使对方难堪,对你自己也是一种很大的损害。
  name and some facts about his or her family, businessand political opinions. He fixed all these facts wellin mind as part of the picture, and the next time he metthat person, even if it was a year later, he was able toshake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about thehollyhocks in the backyard. No wonder he developed afollowing!
  我在巴黎曾经组织过一个演讲术的讲习班,用复印机分函给居留巴黎的美国人。我雇用的那个法国打字员英文程度很差,填打姓名时就发生了错误。其中有个讲习班的学员,是巴黎一家美国银行的经理,我接到他一封责备的信,原来我那个法国打字员,把他的姓名字母拼错了。
  For months before Roosevelt’s campaign for Presidentbegan, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day topeople all over the western and northwestern states.Then he hopped onto a train and in nineteen days coveredtwenty states and twelve thousand miles, travelingby buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would dropinto town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea ordinner, and give them a “heart-to-heart talk.” Then he’ddash off again on another leg of his journey.
  「恩特.卡耐基」如何成功的?
  As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one personin each town he had visited, asking for a list of allthe guests to whom he had talked. The final list containedthousands and thousands of names; yet each personon that list was paid the subtle flattery of getting apersonal letter from James Farley. These letters began“Dear Bill” or “Dear Jane,” and they were alwayssigned "Jim."
  他被人称作「钢铁大王」,可是他对钢铁懂得并不多。而上千个替他工作的人,他们对钢铁的制造,要比「恩特.卡耐基」都内行。
  Jim Farley discovered early in life that the averageperson is more interested in his or her own name thanin all the other names on earth put together. Rememberthat name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtleand very effective compliment. But forget it or misspellit - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.For example, I once organized a public-speakingcourse in Paris and sent form letters to all the Americanresidents in the city. French typists with apparently littleknowledge of English filled in the names and naturallythey made blunders. One man, the manager of alarge American bank in Paris, wrote me a scathing rebukebecause his name had been misspelled.
  「恩特.卡耐基」懂得如何处理人:.……这是他致富的原因,在早年他已显出有超越的组织本领和领导天才。当他十岁的时候,已发现了人们对自己的姓名非常的重视。他有了这个发现,就加以去利用。
  Sometimes it is difficult to remember a name, particularlyif it is hard to pronounce. Rather than even try tolearn it, many people ignore it or call the person by aneasy nickname. Sid Levy called on a customer for sometime whose name was Nicodemus Papadoulos. Most
  这是他童年的一页回忆:这个苏格兰男孩曾经获得一只兔子,是母的。这头母兔,很快的生下一窝小兔来。可是,找不到可以喂小兔吃的东西。但是「恩特.卡耐基」想出一个聪明的主意来。他跟邻近的那些小孩子说,如果谁去采小兔吃的东西,这头小兔就用谁的名字
  people just called him “Nick.” Levy told us: “I made aspecial effort to say his name over several times to myselfbefore I made my call. When I greeted him by hisfull name: 'Good afternoon, Mr. Nicodemus Papadoulos,’he was shocked. For what seemed like several minutesthere was no reply from him at all. Finally, he saidwith tears rolling down his cheeks, ‘Mr. Levy, in all thefifteen years I have been in this country, nobody hasever made the effort to call me by my right name.’ "
  他这个计划,功效神妙,使「恩特.卡耐基」永志不忘。
  What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie’s success?
  多年后,他经营各项事业,也都运用了同样的技巧,使他获得数百万元的收入。例如:他要将钢轨售给宾雪凡尼亚铁路局,汤姆生是这家铁路局局长。恩特.卡耐基」就在匹兹堡建造一大钢铁厂,命名为「汤姆生钢铁厂。」
  He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knewlittle about the manufacture of steel. He had hundredsof people working for him who knew far more aboutsteel than he did.
  你猜猜看………宾雪凡尼亚铁路局采购钢轨时,汤姆生会向那一家买?
  But he knew how to handle people, and that is whatmade him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization,a genius for leadership. By the time he was ten,he too had discovered the astounding importance peopleplace on their own name. And he used that discovery towin cooperation. To illustrate: When he was a boy backin Scotland, he got hold of a rabbit, a mother rabbit.Presto! He soon had a whole nest of little rabbits - andnothing to feed them. But he had a brilliant idea. He toldthe boys and girls in the neighborhood that if they wouldgo out and pull enough clover and dandelions to feedthe rabbits, he would name the bunnies in their honor.
  有一次,当卡耐基和布尔姆竞争小型汽车、小客车业务的权利时,又想起了兔子的教训。
  The plan worked like magic, and Carnegie never forgotit.
  「恩特.卡耐基」负责的中央运输公司,和布尔姆所经营的公司,双方争取太平洋铁路的小型汽车、小客车业务,互相排挤,接连削价,几乎已侵蚀到他们可以获得的利益。卡耐基和布尔姆都去纽约见太平洋铁路局的董事会。那天晚上,卡耐基在「圣尼古拉大饭店」遇到了布尔姆,他就这样说:「晚安,布尔姆先生,我们两个人是不是都在愚弄我们自己?」
  Years later, he made millions by using the same psychologyin business. For example, he wanted to sellsteel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad. J. Edgar Thomsonwas the president of the Pennsylvania Railroad then.So Andrew Carnegie built a huge steel mill in Pittsburghand called it the “Edgar Thomson Steel Works.”
  布尔姆问:「你这是什么意思?」
  Here is a riddle. See if you can guess it. When thePennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do yousuppose J. Edgar Thomson bought them?. . , FromSears, Roebuck? No. No. You’re wrong. Guess again.When Carnegie and George Pullman were battlingeach other for supremacy in the railroad sleeping-car
  于是卡耐基就说出他的见解………他用了严正磊落的讲辞,说出希望双方的业务合并起来,由于双方并不竞争,可以获得更大、更多的利益。
  business, the Steel King again remembered the lessonof the rabbits.
  布尔姆虽然注意听着,并没有完全同意下来,而最后他问:这家新公司,你准备取用什么招牌?」卡耐基马上就回答:「那当然用、布尔姆皇宫小型汽车、小客车公司。了。」
  The Central Transportation Company, which AndrewCarnegie controlled, was fighting with the company thatPullman owned. Both were struggling to get the sleeping-car business of the Union Pacific Railroad, buckingeach other, slashing prices, and destroving all chance ofprofit. Both Carnegie and Pullman had gone to NewYork to see the board of directors of the Union Pacific.Meeting one evening in the St. Nicholas Hotel, Carnegiesaid: “Good evening, Mr. Pullman, aren’t we makinga couple of fools of ourselves?”
  布尔姆那张凝得紧紧的脸,顿时松了下来,他说:「卡耐基先生,到我房里来,让我们详细谈谈!」就是那一次的谈话,写下企业界一页新的历史。
  “What do you mean.?" Pullman demanded.
  「恩特.卡耐基」有高度的记忆力,和尊重他人姓名的作法,那该是他成为一位领袖人物的秘诀。他能叫出很多任务人的名宇,这是他引以自豪的。他常得意的说,他亲自处理公司业务的时候,他的公司从没有发生过罢工的情形。
  Then Carnegie expressed what he had on his mind - amerger of their two interests. He pictured in glowingterms the mutual advantages of working with, instead ofagainst, each other. Pullman listened attentively, but hewas not wholly convinced. Finally he asked, “Whatwould you call the new company?” and Carnegie repliedpromptly: “Why, the Pullman Palace Car Company,of course.”
  彼特华斯基也有同样的情形,为令在专车侍候他的黑人厨司,感觉到他自己的重要,而永远称黑人厨司作「考伯先生」。
  Pullman’s face brightened. “Come into my room,” hesaid. “Let’s talk it over.” That talk made industrial history.
  人们都重视自己的名字,尽量设法让自己的名字留传下去,甚至愿意付出任何的代价。巴纳姆先生虽然已是一位饱经世故的老人,由于没有儿子延续他的名字而感到遗憾,所以他情愿给他孙子「西雷」两万五千元的代价,如果他愿意把自己称作「巴纳姆.西雷」的话。
  This policy of remembering and honoring the namesof his friends and business associates was one of thesecrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership. He was proudof the fact that he could call many of his factory workersby their first names, and he boasted that while he waspersonally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flamingsteel mills.
  那是两百多年前的事,有钱的人常给那些作家们钱,要作家用他的名义出书。
  Benton Love, chairman of Texas Commerce Banc-shares, believes that the bigger a corporation gets, thecolder it becomes. " One way to warm it up,” he said, “isto remember people’s names. The executive who tellsme he can’t remember names is at the same time tellingme he can’t remember a significant part of his businessand is operating on quicksand.”
  图书馆、博物馆有丰富的收藏,那些陈列品上都有捐赠者的姓名。原因是由于那些人,希望自己的姓名永远延续下去。
  Karen Kirsech of Rancho Palos Verdes, California, aflight attendant for TWA, made it a practice to learn the
  一般人大概不会比罗斯福更忙,可是他甚至会把一个技工的名宇,牢牢的记了下来。
  names of as many passengers in her cabin as possibleand use the name when serving them. This resulted inmany compliments on her service expressed both to herdirectly and to the airline. One passenger wrote: "Ihaven’t flown TWA for some time, but I’m going to startflying nothing but TWA from now on. You make me feelthat your airline has become a very personalized airlineand that is important to me.”
  经过情形是这样的:克莱斯勒汽车公司替罗斯福先生,制造了一辆特殊的汽车。张伯伦和一位技工,将这部车子送去白宫。张伯伦给了我一封信,说出当时的情形,他说:「我教罗斯福总统如何驾驶这辆有许多特别装置的汽车,而他却教了我许多处世待人的艺术。」
  People are so proud of their names that they strive toperpetuate them at any cost. Even blustering, hard-boiledold P. T. Barnum, the greatest showman of histime, disappointed because he had no sons to carry onhis name, offered his grandson, C. H. Seeley, $25,000dollars if he would call himself “Barnum” Seeley.
  张伯伦先生的信上,这样写着:「我到白官的时候,总统显得非常愉快,他直呼我的名宇,使我感到十分欣慰。特刖使我留下深刻印象的是,当我说出有关这部车子每一个细节时,他都极注意的听着。
  For many centuries, nobles and magnates supportedartists, musicians and authors so that their creative workswould be dedicated to them.
  这部车子经过特殊设计,能完全用手驾驶。罗斯福总统在那一群围观的人面前,说:这部车子本身就是一项奇迹,你只要按下钮键,它就能自己开动,可以根不费力的去驾驶
  Libraries and museums owe their richest collectionsto people who cannot bear to think that their namesmight perish from the memory of the race. The NewYork Public Library has its Astor and Lenox collections.The Metropolitan Museum perpetuates the names ofBenjamin Altman and J. P. Morgan. And nearly everychurch is beautified by stained-glass windows commemoratingthe names of their donors. Many of the buildingson the campus of most universities bear the names ofdonors who contributed large sums of money for thishonor.
  这车子,它奇妙的设计,实在太好了………我不清楚其中的原理,真希望有时间拆 开看看,那是如何配造成的。。
  Most people don’t remember names, for the simplereason that they don’t take the time and energy necessaryto concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly intheir minds. They make excuses for themselves; they aretoo busy.
  当罗斯福的朋友们,和白宫的官员们赞美这部车子时,他又说:「张伯伦先生,我真感谢你,你要费去很多时间、精力,才设计完成这部车子,这是一项无可批评,极其完美的工程。』他赞赏辐射器,特别反光镜,照明灯,椅垫的式样,驾驶座的位置、衣箱里的特殊衣柜、和衣柜上的标记。也就是说,罗斯福总统观赏了车子里每一个细微的设计。
  But they were probably no busier than Franklin D.Roosevelt, and he took time to remember and recalleven the names of mechanics with whom he came intocontact.
  他知道我在这上面已下了不少苦心,他特别把这些设备指给罗斯福夫人,劳工部长,和他的女秘书波金斯看。他还向旁边的黑人侍从说:『乔琪,你要好好照顾这些经过特殊设计的衣箱。』
  To illustrate: The Chrysler organization built a specialcar for Mr. Roosevelt, who could not use a standard carbecause his legs were paralyzed. W. F. Chamberlain and
  我把有关驾驶方面的情形讲过后,总统向我说:「好了,张伯伦先生,我已经使中央储备董事会等三十分钟了,我应该回去工作了。』
  a mechanic delivered it to the White House. I have infront of me a letter from Mr. Chamberlain relating hisexperiences. "I taught President Roosevelt how to handlea car with a lot of unusual gadgets, but he taught mea lot about the fine art of handling people.
  我带了一位技工去白宫;我把他介绍给罗斯福总统。他没有同总统谈话;罗斯福总统只有听到一次他的名字。这技工是个怕羞的人,避居在后面,当我们要离去时,总统找到这个技工,跟他握手,叫他的名宇,感谢他来华盛顿。总统对这个技工的致谢,并非出于表面,而是真诚用心的,这个我可以觉察得到。
  "When I called at the White House,” Mr. Chamberlainwrites, “the President was extremely pleasant andcheerful. He called me by name, made me feel verycomfortable, and particularly impressed me with the factthat he was vitally interested in things I had to show himand tell him. The car was so designed that it could beoperated entirely by hand. A crowd gathered around tolook at the car; and he remarked: ‘I think it is marvelous.All you have to do is to touch a button and it moves awayand you can drive it without effort. I think it is grand - Idon’t know what makes it go. I’d love to have the time totear it down and see how it works.’
  我回到纽约后不久,接到总统亲笔签名的相片,和一封谢函。他如何能抽出时间来做这件事,使我感到讶异.
  “When Roosevelt’s friends and associates admired themachine, he said in their presence: ‘Mr. Chamberlain, Icertainly appreciate all the time and effort you havespent in developing this car. It is a mighty fine job.’ Headmired the radiator, the special rear-vision mirror andclock, the special spotlight, the kind of upholstery, thesitting position of the driver’s seat, the special suitcasesin the trunk with his monogram on each suitcase. Inother words, he took notice of every detail to which heknew I had given considerable thought. He made a pointof bringing these various pieces of equipment to the attentionof Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Perkins, the Secretary ofLabor, and his secretary. He even brought the old WhiteHouse porter into the picture by saying, ‘George, youwant to take particularly good care of the suitcases.’
  罗斯福总统知道一种最简单、最明显、而又是最重要的如何获得好感的方法,就是记住对方的姓名,使别人感到自己很重要………可是,在我们之间,又有多少人能这样做?
  “When the driving lesson was finished, the Presidentturned to me and said: ‘Well, Mr. Chamberlain, I havebeen keeping the Federal Reserve Board waiting thirtyminutes. I guess I had better get back to work.’
  当别人介绍一个陌生人跟我们认识,虽有几分钟的谈话,临走时已把对方的姓名忘得干干净净。
  "I took a mechanic with me to the White House. Hewas introduced to Roosevelt when he arrived. He didn’ttalk to the President, and Roosevelt heard his name onlyonce. He was a shy chap, and he kept in the background.But before leaving us, the President looked for the mechanic,shook his hand, called him by name, and
  一个政洽学家的第一课,就是:「记住选民的姓名。」
  thanked him for coming to Washington. And there wasnothing perfunctory about his thanks. He meant what hesaid. I could feel that.
  记忆姓名的能力,在事业上、交际上、和政治上是同样重要的。
  “A few days after returning to New York, I got an autographedphotograph of President Roosevelt and a littlenote of thanks again expressing his appreciation for myassistance. How he found time to do it is a mystery tome ."
  法国皇帝拿破仑三世,就是伟大的拿破仑的侄儿,他曾经自夸的说:虽然他国事很忙,可是他能记住,他所见过的每一个人的姓名。
  Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest,most obvious and most important ways of gaining goodwill was by remembering names and making people feelimportant - yet how many of us do it?
  他有技巧吗?是的,那很简单,如果他没有听清楚,他就说:「对不起,我没有听清楚。」如果是个不常见到的姓名,他就这么问:「对不起这字如何拼?」
  Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chata few minutes and can’t even remember his or her nameby the time we say goodbye.
  在谈话中,他会不厌其烦的把对方姓名反复的记忆数次。同时在他脑海崟,把这人的姓名,和他的脸孔、神态、外型连贯起来。
  One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: “Torecall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget it isoblivion.”
  如果这人对他是重要的,拿破仑就更费事了。在他独自一人的时候,他会把这人的姓名写在纸上,仔细的看着、记住,然后把纸撕了。这样一来,他眼睛看到的印象,就跟他耳朵听到的一样了。
  And the ability to remember names is almost as importantin business and social contacts as it is in politics.
  这些都很费时间,但爱默生说:「良好的礼貌,是由小的牺牲造成的.
  Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephewof the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all hisroyal duties he could remember the name of every personhe met.
  所以,如果你要人们喜欢你,第三项规则是:
  His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the namedistinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the nameclearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say,“How is it spelled?”
  你要记住你所接触中,每一个人的姓名。
  During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeatthe name several times, and tried to associate it in hismind with the person’s features, expression and generalappearance.
标签:人性的弱点
14
2011-01-13 10:16 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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