在线词典,在线翻译

《人性的弱点》第2篇 第2章 如何给人留下好印象

所属:成长励志 作者:webmaster 阅读:9812 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

小编摘要:如果你希望人们都喜欢你,要微笑,微笑是最好的名片!

  最近我在纽约参加一次宴会,其中有位客人,她是刚获得一笔遗产的妇人。她似乎急于使人们对她留下一个愉快的印象,她花了很多钱买了貂皮外衣、钻石、和真珠,可是她就没有注意到自己脸上的表情。她那副脸色神情,显得那么刻薄、自私。那是她不明白男士们所赏心悦目的,是女士们表情中所表现出的那份气质、神态,而不是她那付雍容华贵的打扮。
  At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, awoman who had inherited money, was eager to makea pleasing impression on everyone. She had squandereda modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls. Butshe hadn’t done anything whatever about her face. Itradiated sourness and selfishness. She didn’t realizewhat everyone knows: namely, that the expression onewears on one’s face is far more important than theclothes one wears on one’s back.
  司华伯曾经告诉过我,他的微笑,有一百万元的价值。他所暗示的,或许就是这个真理。司华伯有他今日的成就,那是该归功于他的人格,他的魅力,和他那种特殊的能力。而在他的人格中,最可爱的因素,就是他令人倾心的微笑。
  Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth amillion dollars. And he was probably understating thetruth. For Schwab’s personality, his charm, his ability tomake people like him, were almost wholly responsiblefor his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightfulfactors in his personality was his captivatingsmile.
  有一次,我花了一个下午的时间,去拜访雪弗立,说实在的,我很失望。他沉默寡言,跟我想象中完全不一样………直到他绽开一缕微笑的剎那间,整个气氛才完全变换过来,顿时开朗了起来。如果不是他那一缕微笑,恐怕雪弗立依旧在巴黎做他的木匠,继续他父兄的行业。
  Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “Ilike you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to
  一个人的行动,比他所说的话,更有具体的表现,而人们脸上的微笑,就有这样的表示:「我喜欢你,你使我快乐,我非常高兴见到你!」
  see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally,we are glad to see them.
  为什么人们那么喜欢狗?我相信也是同样的原因………你看牠们那么的喜欢跟我们接近,当牠们看到我们时,那股出于自然的高兴,所以人们也就喜欢了牠们。
  A baby’s smile has the same effect.
  那「不诚意」的微笑,又如何呢?微笑是从内心发出的,那种不诚意的微笑,是机械的、敷衍的,也就是人们所说,那种「皮笑肉不笑」的笑容,那是不能欺骗谁的,也是我们所憎厌的。
  Have you ever been in a doctor’s waiting room andlooked around at all the glum faces waiting impatientlyto be seen? Dr, Stephen K. Sproul, a veterinarian in Raytown,Missouri, told of a typical spring day when hiswaiting room was full of clients waiting to have theirpets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, andall were probably thinking of a dozen other things theywould rather be doing than “wasting time” sitting in thatoffice. He told one of our classes: “There were six orseven clients waiting when a young woman came inwith a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck wouldhave it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was morethan a little distraught about the long wait for service.The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at himwith that great big smile that is so characteristic of babies.What did that gentleman do? Just what you and Iwould do, of course; he-smiled back at the baby. Soonhe struck up a conversation with the woman about herbaby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire receptionroom joined in, and the boredom and tension wereconverted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience.”
  纽约一家极具规模的百货公司里的一位人事室主任,跟我谈到这件事。他说他愿意雇用一个有她可爱的微笑,小学还没有毕业的女孩子,而不愿意雇用一个脸孔冷若冰霜的哲学博士。
  An insincere grin? No. That doesn’t fool anybody. Weknow it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talkingabout a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile thatcomes from within, the kind of smile that will bring agood price in the marketplace.
  美国一家很大的橡皮公司的董事长告诉我,依他的观察,一个人的事业成功与否,完全在他对这项事业是否感到兴趣?而不是苦干、钻研的去打开他成功的大门。他曾这样说:
  Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at theUniversity of Michigan, expressed his feelings about asmile. “People who smile,” he said, “tend to manageteach and sell more effectively, and to raise happierchildren. There’s far more information in a smile than afrown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effectiveteaching device than punishment.”
  「有若干人,开始一桩事业的时候,怀着极大的希望和兴趣,所以能在早期获得部份的成就。当他们对这项工作,感到厌烦、沉闷,失去了原有的兴趣时,他的事业也渐渐走向下坡,终至失败。」
  The employment manager of a large New York departmentstore told me she would rather hire a sales clerkwho hadn’t finished grade school, if he or she has apleasant smile, than to hire a doctor of philosophy witha somber face.
  如果你希望别人用一副高兴、欢愉的神情来接待你,那么你自己先要用这样的神情去对别人。
  The effect of a smile is powerful - even when it isunseen. Telephone companies throughout the UnitedStates have a program called “phone power” which isoffered to employees who use the telephone for sellingtheir services or products. In this program they suggestthat you smile when talking on the phone. Your “smile”comes through in your voice.
  我曾经向上千个商界人士建议,于每天的每一个时候,遇到人就展开一个轻松的微笑。这样经过一星期后,回来讲习班,说出所得到的心得、效果如何!你先看这是纽约证券交易所,一位「司丁哈丹」先生写来的信,他的情况绝非特例,事实上,是常可见到的。
  Robert Cryer, manager of a computer department for aCincinnati, Ohio, company, told how he had successfullyfound the right applicant for a hard-to-fill position:
  司丁哈丹的信上,这样写着:「我结婚有十八年了,这些年来,从我起床到离开家这段
  “I was desperately trying to recruit a Ph.D. in computerscience for my department. I finally located ayoung man with ideal qualifications who was about tobe graduated from Purdue University. After severalphone conversations I learned that he had several offersfrom other companies, many of them larger and betterknown than mine. I was delighted when he accepted myoffer. After he started on the job, I asked him why hehad chosen us over the others. He paused for a momentand then he said: ‘I think it was because managers in theother companies spoke on the phone in a cold, business-likemanner, which made me feel like just another businesstransaction, Your voice sounded as if you were gladto hear from me . . . that you really wanted me to be partof your organization. ’ You can be assured, I am still answeringmy phone with a smile.”
  时间内,我太太很少看到我脸上的笑容,也很少说上几句话。
  The chairman of the board of directors of one of thelargest rubber companies ‘in the United States told methat, according to his observations, people rarely succeedat anything unless they have fun doing it. Thisindustrial leader doesn’t put much faith in the old adagethat hard work alone is the magic key that will unlockthe door to our desires, “I have known people,” he said,“who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring goodtime conducting their business. Later, I saw those peoplechange as the fun became work. The business hadgrown dull, They lost all joy in it, and they failed.”
  由于你叫我从微笑的经历所得的效果作一演讲,我就尝试了一个星期………第二天早晨我梳头的时候,从镜子里,看到自己那张绷得紧紧的脸孔,我就向自己说:「皮尔,你今天必需要把你那张,凝结得像石膏像的脸松开来,你要展出一副笑容来………就从现在开始。」坐下吃早餐的时候,我脸上有了一副轻松的笑意,我向我太太说:「亲爱的,妳早!」
  You must have a good time meeting people if you expectthem to have a good time meeting you.
  你曾告访过我,她一定会感到很惊奇,但你低估了她的反应。当时她迷惑、楞住了。我可以想象到,那是出于她意想不到的高兴。这是我太太所希望获得的一件事;是的,两个多月来,我们家庭的生活,已完全改变过来了。
  I have asked thousands of business people to smile at someone every hour of the day for a week and then cometo class and talk about the results. How did it work?Let’s see. . . Here is a letter from William B. Steinhardt,a New York stockbroker. His case isn’t isolated. In fact,it is typical of hundreds of cases.
  现在我去办公室,会对电梯员微微一笑的说:「你早!」我对司昏也投之一笑………去柜台换钱时,对里面的伙计,我脸上也带着笑容………我在交易所里时,对那些素昧平生从没有见过面的人,我的脸上也带着一缕笑容………
  “1 have been married for over eighteen years,” wroteMr. Steinhardt, “and in all that time I seldom smiled atmy wife or spoke two dozen words to her from the timeI got up until I was ready to leave for business. I wasone of the worst grouches who ever walked down Broadway.
  这样没有多久,发现每一个人见到我时,都向我投之一笑。对那些来向我道「苦经」的人,我以关心的、和悦的态度听他们诉苦。而无形中把他们所认为苦恼的事,变得容易解决了。我发现微笑替我带来了财富,那是很多,很多的财富。
  “When you asked me to make a talk about my experiencewith smiles, I thought I would try it for a week. Sothe next morning, while combing my hair, I looked atmy glum mug in the mirror and said to myself, ‘Bill, youare going to wipe the scowl off that sour puss of yourstoday. You are going to smile. And you are going to beginright now.’ As I sat down to breakfast, I greeted my wifewith a ‘Good morning, my dear,’ and smiled as I saidit.
  我和另外一个经纪人,合用一间办公室。他雇用了一个职员,是个可爱的年轻人,那年轻人渐渐地对我有了好感。我对我自己所得到的成就,感到得意而自傲,所以我对那年轻人,自然地提到「人际关系学」,这个新的哲学。那年轻人曾这样告诉我,他初来这间办公室时,认为我是一个凌厉可憎,脾气极坏的人,而最近一段时间来,他对我的观感,已彻底的改了过来。他说:、你笑的时候,很有人情味!。
  “You warned me that she might be surprised. Well,you underestimated her reaction. She was bewildered.She was shocked. I told her that in the future she couldexpect this as a regular occurrence, and I kept it up everymorning.
  我也改掉原有对人的批评,把斥责人家的话,换成赞赏和鼓励。我再也不会说、我需要什么。,而是尽量去接受别人的观点。眼前事实的演变,已改变了我原有的生活,现在我是一个跟过去完全不同的人了………一个比过去更快乐,更富有的人。」
  “This changed attitude of mine brought more happinessinto our home in the two months since I startedthan there was during the last year.
  请你要记住这封信是一位饱经世故,聪明绝顶的股票经纪人所写的。他在纽约证券交易所,以买卖证券谋生,如果没有更多专门学识,一百个人去尝试,可能会有九十九个人失败的。
  “As I leave for my office, I greet the elevator operatorin the apartment house with a ‘Good morning’ and asmile, I greet the doorman with a smile. I smile at thecashier in the subway booth when I ask for change. As Istand on the floor of the Stock Exchange, I smile at peoplewho until recently never saw me smile.
  你会觉得自己笑不出来?那怎么办?有两件事,不妨可以试一试!第一、强迫你自己微笑,如果你单独一人的时候,吹吹口哨,唱唱歌,尽量让自己高兴起来,就好象你真的很快乐一样,那就能使你快乐。哈佛大学一位已故的贾姆士教授,他有下面的见解:
  “I soon found that everybody was smiling back at me,I treat those who come to me with complaints or grievancesin a cheerful manner, I smile as I listen to themand I find that adjustments are accomplished much easier.I find that smiles are bringing me dollars, many dollarsevery day.
  「行动该是追随着一个人自己的感受………可是事实上,行动和感受,是并道而驰的。所以你需要快乐时,可以强迫自己快乐起来。
  “I share my office with another broker. One of hisclerks is a likable young chap, and I was so elated aboutthe results I was getting that I told him recently aboutmy new philosophy of human relations. He then confessedthat when I first came to share my office with hisfirm he thought me a terrible grouch - and only recentlychanged his mind. He said I was really human when Ismiled.
  人们都想知道要如何寻求快乐,这里有一条途径,或许可以把你带去快乐的境界。那就是让自己知道,快乐是出自自己内在的心情,不需要向外界寻求的。」
  “I have also eliminated criticism from my system. Igive appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation.I have stopped talking about what I want. I am nowtrying to see the other person’s viewpoint. And thesethings have literally revolutionized my life. I am a totallydifferent man, a happier man, a richer man, richer infriendships and happiness - the only things that mattermuch after all.”
  不管你拥有些什么………你是谁………你在什么地方………或者你是做什么事的………只要你想快乐,你就能快乐。眼前有这样一个例子………有两个人,他们有同样的地位,做同样的事,他们的收入也一样,可是其中一个轻松愉快,另外那个却是整天愁眉苦脸。这是什么原因?答案很简单,他们两个所怀的心情不一样。
  You don’t feel like smiling? Then what? Two things.First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourselfto whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you werealready happy, and that will tend to make you happy.Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher WilliamJames put it:
  莎士比亚曾有这样说过:「好与坏无从区别,那是由于每个人的想法使然。」
  “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action andfeeling go together; and by regulating the action, whichis under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectlyregulate the feeling, which is not.
  林肯有一次也这样说过:「大多数人所获得的快乐,跟他意念所想到的相差不多。」他说的不错。最近我找到了一个明确的印证:
  “Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, ifour cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to actand speak as if cheerfulness were already there. . . .”
  我正走上纽约长岛车站的石阶梯时,看到有三、四十个行动不便的残障孩子走在我前面,他们用拐杖很辛苦的一级一级走上石阶梯,有些还要有人抱着上去。可是他们的快乐、欢笑,使我感到惊奇。
  Every body in the world is seeking happiness - andthere is one sure way to find it. That is by controllingyour thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outwardconditions. It depends on inner conditions.
  后来,我找到管理这些孩子们的老师,谈到这件事,他说:「是的,当一个小孩子,他体会出将要终身成为残废时,会感到难受而不安。可是这种难受不安过去后,他也只有听天由命,继续寻求他们的快乐,他们现在比一般正常的儿童还快乐。」
  It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you areor what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.It is what you think about it. For example, two peoplemay be in the same place, doing the same thing; bothmay have about an equal amount of money and prestige- and yet one may be miserable and the other happy.Why? Because of a different mental attitude. I have seen
  我真想对那些残废的孩子们致敬,他们给了我一个永远无法忘去的教训。
  just as many happy faces among the poor peasants toilingwith their primitive tools in the devastating heat of thetropics as I have seen in air-conditioned offices in NewYork, Chicago or Los Angeles.
  当毕克馥特准备与范朋克离婚时,我有一个下午跟她在一起。人们或许以为她那时的心境非常凌乱,可是事实上并非如此,她仍然显得安祥而愉快。她如何使自己镇静、安祥下来呢?她的秘诀是,事情已如此,就不替自己去找烦恼,而从她自己的心底去寻找快乐。
  “There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare,“but thinking makes it so.”
  「白格」过去是棒球队里的三垒手,现在是美国一位最成功的保险商,你说他有一套成功的秘诀吗?是的,他经过多年的研究,认为微笑是、永远受人所欢迎的。当他进办公室前,总是在外面停留片刻,从回忆中找出一椿使他高兴的事来,让自己脸上发出一缕出自心底的微笑,然后才进去里面。
  Abe Lincoln once remarked that “most folks are aboutas happy as they make up their minds to be.” He wasright. I saw a vivid illustration of that truth as I waswalking up the stairs of the Long Island Railroad stationin New York. Directly in front of me thirty or forty crippledboys on canes and crutches were struggling up thestairs. One boy had to be carried up. I was astonished attheir laughter and gaiety. I spoke about it to one of.themen in charge of the boys. “Oh, yes,” he said, “when aboy realizes that he is going to be a cripple for life, he isshocked at first; but after he gets over the shock, he usuallyresigns himself to his fate and then becomes ashappy as normal boys.”
  他相信虽然微笑是一椿微不足道的小事情,可是使他的保险业务,有了极大的成就。
  I felt like taking my hat off to those boys. They taughtme a lesson I hope I shall never forget.
  我们再看看哈巴德这项神奇的建议………可是你别忘记,你必需真正去实行,不然,你只是「看」,那是没有用的。他的建议是这样的:
  Working all by oneself in a closed-off room in an officenot only is lonely, but it denies one the opportunity ofmaking friends with other employees in the company.Se?ora Maria Gonzalez of Guadalajara, Mexico, hadsuch a job. She envied the shared comradeship of otherpeople in the company as she heard their chatter andlaughter. As she passed them in the hall during the firstweeks of her employment, she shyly looked the otherway.
  当你出去外面的时候,把下巴往里收,抬头挺胸,使你胸部充满了新鲜的空气。遇到朋友时,跟他握手,必需要把你心神灌注在你手掌中。别怕误会,别想不愉快的事,不要让你的仇敌侵人你意识中,跟朋友就这样握手。
  After a few weeks, she said to herself, “Maria, youcan’t expect those women to come to you. You have togo out and meet them. ” The next time she walked to thewater cooler, she put on her brightest smile and said,“Hi, how are you today” to each of the people she met.The effect was immediate. Smiles and hellos were returned,the hallway seemed brighter, the job friendlier.
  要在你心目中,确定你喜欢做的是什么,然后方向不变勇往直前的去做。当你精神集中在你喜欢做的事业上时,在往后的岁月之中,你会发现你所渴望的机会,都给你掌握住了。
  Acquaintanceships developed and some ripened intofriendships. Her job and her life became more pleasantand interesting.
  你要时时把自己想象作怀有才干,待人诚恳,有益于社会的一个有用的人。你有了这种想法后,会时时刻刻的改变你自己,使你的人格渐渐变成这种典型。你必需知道,一个人的思维力,能形成一股极大的力量。
  Peruse this bit of sage advice from the essayist andpublisher Elbert Hubbard - but remember, perusing itwon’t do you any good unless you apply it:
  保持一种正确的心理状态--勇敢、诚实,和乐观。正确的思想,能启发创造力。所以有很多的事情,都是由理想、欲望而来的。凡你真诚的祈求,都会获得完全的应验。我们想要获得什么成就,只要把这种意念孕育在我们心里,我们就会有这样的收获!放松你凝重的脸色,抬起头,我们就是明天的主宰。
  Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry thecrown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost;drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, andput soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstoodand do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies.Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like todo; and then, without veering off direction, you will movestraight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendidthings you would like to do, and then, as the days gogliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizingupon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillmentof your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the runningtide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able,earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought youhold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual.. . . Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude -the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer.To think rightly is to create. All things come through desireand every sincere prayer is answered. We become like thaton which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and thecrown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.
  古代的中国人充满着智能,他们有一句格言,你应剪下来,贴在你帽子里。那句格言是:「人们如果脸上没有带着笑容,千万别开店」--「不笑莫开店」。
  The ancient Chinese were a wise lot - wise in theways of the world; and they had a proverb that you andI ought to cut out and paste inside our hats. It goes likethis: “A man without a smiling face must not open ashop.”
  刚才我们谈到开店,「弗雷克.依文」在为那家--「考林公司」所做的广告中,有这样几句话,含有令人启示的哲理。
  Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Yoursmile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someonewho has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn theirfaces away, your smile is like the sun breaking throughthe clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressurefrom his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parentsor children, a smile can help him realize that all isnot hopeless - that there is joy in the world.
  圣诞节一笑的价值:
  Some years ago, a department store in New York City,in recognition of the pressures its sales clerks wereunder during the Christmas rush, presented the readersof its advertisements with the following homely philosophy:
  它不需要耗费些什么,可是却有很多的收获。
  THE VALUE OF A SMILE ATCHRISTMAS
  它使获得者蒙益,施予者也无损失。
  It costs nothing, but creates much.It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lastsforever,None are so rich they can get along without it, and none sopoor but are richer for its benefits.It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in abusiness, and is the countersign of friends.It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshineto the sad, and Nature’s best antidote fee trouble.Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for itis something that is no earthly good to anybody till it isgiven away.And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some ofour salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile,may we ask you to leave one of yours?For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have noneleft to give!
  它发生于剎那间,可是给人的回忆却、永远存在。
  PRINCIPLE 2 Smile.
  任何有钱的人,不会不需要它。而贫穷的人,却因它而致富。
  它在家庭中能产生快乐的气氛。在生意买卖上,能制造好感。在朋友间,是善意的招呼
  它使疲惫者有了休息。使失望者获得光明。使悲哀者迎向阳光。又使大自然解除了困扰
  它无处可买,无处可求,无法去借,更不能去偷………当你尚未得到它前,对谁都没有用的。
  如果在圣诞节,最后一分钟的忙碌中,我们的店员或许太疲倦了,以致没有给你一个微笑,能不能留下你的微笑?
  因为没有给人微笑的人,更需要别人给他微笑。
  所以,如果你希望人们都喜欢你,第二项规则是:
  微笑!
标签:人性的弱点
38
2011-01-12 15:33 编辑:kuaileyingyu
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有0条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
您可能还感兴趣的文章:
>>精华推荐阅读
热门评论文章