My world collapsed at the age of twelve. My parents separated and it was hard for me. Then I experienced something even harder: losing somebody I loved very much.
In my opinion "cancer" is the worst six-letter word in the whole dictionary. My mom was first diagnosed with mouth cancer. She spent Mother’s Day in the hospital that year recovering from major surgery. Then four months later she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I remember the day vividly. When I came home that day from school, my mom’s side of the family was there. They were all crying. My mom said "come and sit by me," and she started crying too. My heart began to pound really hard and my eyes were full of tears. My mother was too upset to explain and my grandfather told me that she only had a short time to live.
One sunny day, I was called out of school and taken to hospital. When I stepped out of the elevator at the hospital, I took a deep breath. My grandfather came out of my mom’s room and he was crying. I started to shake. He came up to me and said, "She’s gone. She died." I tried to laugh because I didn’t want it to be true. The pain I felt was like no other. Then everything went so fast that I did not have time to accept the fact that I was left alone. I hated everyone and everything. It overwhelmed me that I was cast away by Fate. I met a few guys that turned me on to some meth one night. I wasn’t afraid of it because I knew I had nothing to lose. It was a good way to escape pain in life.
However, addiction happened quickly. Within days, all I cared about was more meth. I started shooting meth. I would stay up for days at a time. I quit eating. I was so paranoid that it almost incapacitated me. I saw white vans everywhere that I knew were filled with people trying to catch me. I became so delusional and paranoid that I tried to get home. But I could not do it. I needed more drugs. Time went on and my friends started disappearing. I would beg my dad for money for food or medicine to buy meth. Finally one of my friends called my dad to get me home. We got in his car and headed straight home and had I not, I surely would have been dead within weeks. I was hospitalized to start taking medicine that would hopefully cure my addiction.
It was so tough that the thought of suicide struck me. I remembered my mom who used to love and encourage me unconditionally, no matter what trouble I had caused. "You can rock it," she used to say when I was depressed and upset. I knew I couldn’t kill myself. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I knew she would be watching me somewhere else. I would not only rely on medicine to help my addiction. I would have to fight my addiction with my mind, too. The desire for survival occurred to me. What I went through next was really painful and horrible. The desire was so strong that I could hardly resist. I fainted several times during the cure. I took medicine to hold my addiction at bay, and the real strength I maintained was that I took action and refused to let addiction ruin my life. I would not want to be defeated by Fate. After being in the treatment center for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got my life back to normal. Of course my life could still be a struggle, but I pulled through it with determination and desire for survival. Everyone had challenges in life and they survived. So would I.
I had plans for myself. I wanted to go back to school and even planned to go to college. I knew my mom would still be proud of me, for I survived after all I had been through. She knew I was a fighter, getting the upper hand at war with Fate. I am glad I made it.
2010-12-28 13:14 编辑：kuaileyingyu