Being of sane mind and a lover of “everybody,” we want to take the counterpoint approach to the great and lovely institue of marriage and explain the top 10 reasons not to get married. For those of you who believe in the sanctity of marriage and all that it stands for, check back in a few weeks' time for our colleague Andrew Moore's more than admirable job explaining the Top 10: Reasons To Get Married.
Marriage was created in the days of governmental control and religious choke holds on the people. The idea of spending forever with someone was bearable because humans only lived until the ripe old age of 40. However, this isn’t your great-great granddad’s black-and-white world anymore.
This isn’t an argument against love or being with the person that makes you happy (for any extended period of time), it’s just an argument against the actual institution of marriage and all of the outdated rules that surround the entire concept.
10 婚姻 会让她放纵自己
10 Marriage will make her let herself go
Women gain weight in the relationship because of child birth, but a recent study from the University of Queensland in Australia confirms that even women that don’t have a kid end up gaining a substantial amount of weight in wedded bliss.
According to the findings, a woman will gain up to 15 pounds if she had a partner but no baby in the first 10 years of marriage. The study goes on to explain that there are metabolic changes over that time so the weight gain can only be attributed to altered behavior. The altered behavior is not putting in the time and effort in their fitness routines and eating habits.
Men are just as guilty for letting themselves evolve into a chubby hubby and this gives women a get-out-of-dieting-free card. She might look good now, but add at least 10 pounds to her frame after the wedding ring slides on the finger.
9 结了婚 就没的选了
9 Marriage is the end of options
Variety is the spice of life. Spice is also the name of the stripper dancing on your lap and slipping you her cell number. No more of that Mr. Married. Settling down with one woman eliminates the wide selection of women and the thrill of the chase. No more flings with a coworker, gym pickups, one-night stands, and no more crazy chicks. Crazy chicks make dating so much fun! Plus, watch what happens the minute you get hitched. Not only do a ton of potential bed buddies come crawling out of the woodwork like carpenter ants, but all the women in your life that you could have scored with start admitting a sexual interest but say: “Too bad you’re getting married.” Yes. Too bad indeed.
8 结婚 真的很贵啊
8 Marriage is expensive
Facts and figures released each year by the wedding industries prove that weddings are getting out of control when it comes to price. Last year, Americans spent $71 billion dollars on weddings with each ceremony averaging $28,704. Most marital issues are rooted in problems with money (usually a lack of it), so it's probably not the best idea to kick-start a marriage choking on debt from a wedding cake and a band that ignored all the songs on your “don’t play” list. Sure you’ve got two incomes, but now the questions about how, where and why you spend your money start to creep into the conversation. You have to explain why you spend the money you make like your mom is asking where all your allowance goes. When is marriage the most expensive? When it ends in divorce.
7 婚姻啊 只是个文字形式
7 Marriage is just paperwork
It’s perfectly acceptable to be in a monogamous relationship with someone you love and care for, but why do you need a piece of paper from the state or church? Marriage certificates are an unnecessary and potentially expensive formality just to share health insurance. If the two of you are happy with the current agreement, why rock the boat? Is it because of family pressures and the constant “when are you getting married?” questions from all the miserable people stuck in a marriage and looking to suck you into their black hole of depression? That’s so sweet of them.
6 Marriage is the end of spontaneity
Married couples love to tell people they are still spontaneous. It’s like when people tell you they don’t take crap or that they are not someone you want to mess with. They are full of crap. Spontaneous people don’t talk about how spontaneous they are because they are too busy going places and living a full life. Married people have a diluted and compromised idea of spontaneity. They have spontaneous ideas that then involve months of planning, calendar juggling and last minute cancellations that become “we will do that soon.” They’d love to hop a flight for a weekend trip to Vegas, but that money would be better spent on the bills or putting money into buying a bigger house. Spontaneity also leads to a ton of compromise. Compromise sucks.
5 婚姻 总是在妥协
5 Marriage is constant compromise
Life is meant to be lived; to experience everything before the long dirt nap. Hard to accomplish everything when you spend half the time doing the things she wants to do. Well, you did get to pick the activity last week. You wanted to go to go white water rafting and now she wants to catch a Nicholas Sparks marathon on Lifetime and needs you around to watch her cry and restock her tissue supply. Compromise isn’t just associated with small decisions. You’re going to have to come to an agreement on where you live, where your money goes and a million other choices you make just to make her happy.
4 结了婚 没性生活了
4 Marriage is the end of sex
性生活肯定还是会有 -- 必须的。什么时候呢？节假日、生日...或者是她想让你考虑是不是要把驴子拉到池塘里洗洗的时候。这真是跟无糖的曲奇饼干一样，索然无味啊。同样的地点...无聊的体位...每次结束的没一点新意。想来点新的?不是今晚，永远都不大可能了吧，如果我们彼此诚实的话。当然是一些女人愿意尝试，但没过多久就又例行公事了。那些彼此长时间拧在一起的日子可真是很久没有过了啊。
There is still sex -- occasionally. Those occasions are usually holidays, birthdays and every time she feels like you might be considering tipping your donkey in the community pond. It’s as bland as a sugar-free cookie. It’s always in the same location, boring position and ends the same way every time. Want to try something new? Not tonight. Not ever if we are being honest. Sure, some women will experiment, but it won’t be a long-term move added to the routine. Those early days of screwing longer than a cordless screwdriver are long over.
3 婚姻 经常以失败告终
3 Marriage often fails
Would you risk your life on the flip of a coin? Heads you live, tales you die. You do have a 50-50 chance, but are those really good odds for even giving it a shot? Not as drastic or life threatening, but over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Even people, who are truly in love with each other and the idea of spending the rest of their lives with one person find themselves in divorce. If you fall right in the middle on the idea of marriage (obviously, you have concerns, you’re reading this article), how can you make it work when people who want to get married can’t even stay together?
2 结了婚 没法冒险了
2 Marriage is the end of taking risks
人生包含冒险 -- 一些被完美解决；一些给你当头一棒把你打回原形。所以，你会怎么做？接受它！打败它！只要你单身，有困难就迎上去，这很好，很OK.可以当另一个人的生命，财产，健康，未来都在你手上的时候，你就不能冒险了。那就太自私了。婚姻意味着在每一个决定中都要考虑两个人的共同利益。当然这也许可以避免 让你奔向愚蠢的行为，但是它同样让你畏畏缩缩，扼杀那些可以让你飞黄腾达的想法。
Life involves risks -- some that work out and some that crack you in the face and knock you back to the beginning. So what do you do? Take a risk and try all over again. This is fine so long as you’re the only person who suffers from the setbacks. You can’t take chances when another person’s life, money, health, and future are in your hands. That would be a pretty selfish thing to do. Marriage means you’re keeping the best interests of two people in mind during every decision. Sure, it might keep you from making the leap into some pretty dumb moves, but it might also hold you back from pulling the trigger on an idea that will make your life better forever.
1 婚姻啊 就是永远
1 Marriage is forever
想想你几年前是个什么样子，现在想想几年前跟现在有什么不同，再想想10年后的你会是什么样子；可能也会有 些许没变，但无论是在品味上、领悟上还是在情感上，都会有很大变化。希望在这疯狂的旅途上有另外一个人始终跟你同步，怎么可能呢？ 你下半辈子里再没有冒险，不能想去哪儿就去哪儿，总是在妥协，浪费钱，没有疯狂的性生活......直到老死你们才能分开。你现在可能是在亲你的新娘...搞不好那就是个“吻别”。
Think about the person you were a few years ago. Now think back a few years before that to how different it seems from life now. Now ponder the person you will be 10 years from now; you’re likely slightly similar but with many new tastes, feelings, emotions, and at a much different place in life. Is it really possible to think, or want, another human to come along for that crazy ride? No more risks, no more weekend trips to anywhere and all that compromise, money wasted and lack of sex for the rest of your days on earth. Until death do you part. You may now kiss the bride. Hopefully it’s “goodbye.”
2010-11-23 13:07 编辑：kuaileyingyu
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