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如何抽空陪孩子?

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AnthonyP.Witham博士曾经说过,“小孩拼写“爱”字,是写成‘T-I-M-E(时间)’。”他说的话的确不无道理。可惜的是,你像大多数父母一样,都缺少时间。不管是我们换新工作、有婴儿,或者我们只是想冲杯咖啡或上床睡觉,我们似乎总是期望有更多的时间。我们需要更多的时间。我们也想要更多的时间。但我们总感觉我们根本没时间。那就意味着我们不爱小孩么?当然不是。
It was Dr. Anthony P. Witham who once said “children spell love…T-I-M-E.” He was definitely onto something. Unfortunately, if you are like most parents, time is a precious commodity that often eludes us. Whether we have a new job, a new baby, or we just need to make the coffee or strip the beds, we always seem to be wishing for more time. We need more. We want more. But we feel we just don’t have it. Does that mean we don’t love them? Of course not.
和小孩一起度过美好时光,对于他们的成长和快乐是非常重要的。我和全球很多小朋友交谈过,他们告诉我,花在他们身上的时间并不一定要很多,但一定要确保“质量”。我们必须找到方法,让我们的时间“慢”下来,然后在其中插入美好时光,让我们的孩子知道,我们是关爱并关心他们的。
Spending quality time with our children is extremely important for their development and happiness. I have interviewed thousands of children around the world and they told me that time spent with them doesn’t need to be elaborate or long, but it must be “quality”. We must find ways then to slow down and slip in some memorable time that will let our children know that we love and care for them.
如果小孩感觉到你不关心他们,很多小孩会用自己微妙的方式让你知道。一些小孩不会表现出来,而其他则会。也许你发现孩子和老师顶嘴,和同学打架,或采取能吸引你注意力的行为,比如大声哭闹、发脾气甚至尿床。尽管这些方式是消极的,但的确会吸引你的注意力。这种想法的本质是:如果我正确做事不能吸引注意力,那我就做些坏事来吸引注意力。没有人希望这样!
Many children will let you know in their own “subtle” ways if they feel that you are not giving them the attention that they need. Some will withdraw while others will “act out.” You might see it when a child gives “lip” to a teacher, fights with another classmate or resorts back to behaviors that once got your attention like increased crying, throwing tantrums or even bed-wetting. This is a way to capture your attention, albeit often negative, so that they can enjoy “focused” time with you. Essentially the thought process is, “if I can’t get her attention by doing something good, I’ll get her attention by doing something bad.” Nobody wants that!
如果你没有时间时,该如何挤出时间?
So how can you find time when you feel you don’t have any to spend?
1. 单独相处的时间:单独和你的孩子做两人都很喜欢的事情是最好的。在一个家庭里,当爸爸照顾婴儿时,妈妈可以陪年龄大点的小孩。可以看电影,去剧院看灰姑娘,或坐在公园长凳上聊天。单独相处的次数由你决定,但是我研究过的孩子说至少每个月一次。如果你是位有多个小孩的单亲妈妈,可以每个周六和你的其中一个小孩单独度过美好时光,而每个月的最后一个周六全家一块度过。
1. One-on-one time: Alone time with your child is best when you are doing something you both enjoy. With one family it may be the time when Dad takes the baby so Mom can spend time with the older child. This could mean going to a movie, going to the local theater to see Cinderella, or just sitting at the park on a bench and talking. The frequency of one-on-one time is up to you, but the children I interviewed said at least once a month is the minimum. If you are a single mother with more than one child you could arrange it so that each Saturday you spend quality time with one of your children and the last Saturday of the month you spend quality time as a family.
在日历上标明(周六)日子,是个不错的方法。这也向你的小孩表明,那天有优先级较高的事。
Marking your dates down on a calendar is a great idea and shows your children you make this time a priority.
2. 把在一起的时间列入你的日常计划:小孩喜欢帮助人。你有邮件要寄吗?让他们在信封上贴邮票。需要购物吗?让购物变成快乐时光。需要做晚饭?让他们帮你准备。尽管开始时可能变得更麻烦,需要花更多的时间,你会发现孩子慢慢变成你最好的帮手,并且他们会回忆并记住晚餐之前总是有和你在一起的快乐时光。
2. Integrate Together Time into Your Daily Schedule: Children love to help. Do you have a mailing to do? Have them put the stamps on the envelopes. Need to go shopping? Make grocery shopping “fun time” with you. Need to make dinner? Let them help you by contributing to the preparation process. While it might be messier and it may time more time in the beginning, you will see that the children will become your greatest helpers and they will look back and remember that “before dinner” was always special time with you.
3. 虚拟时间:下午3点之前都没有时间陪小孩?你仍然可以让你的小孩知道你在关心他。写小纸条并放在他们的午餐饭盒里。这是孩子们告诉我的让他们感到被父母爱和关心的最好的十件事情之一。另一个主意是用摄像机录一个短视频给他们看,然后放在早餐桌子上。很有创意吧!
3. Phantom Time: Don’t have a moment to spare until about 3 a.m.? You can still let your children know that you care. Write notes and drop them into their lunch boxes. This was one of the top ten things children told me made them feel loved and cared for by their parent. Other ideas would be to record a short video for them using a camera and leaving it for them at the breakfast table. Be creative here!
4.休息时间:每个人都很忙。有些父母比其他人更忙。利用休息时间你可以和你的小孩呆15分钟或半个小时。如果需要的话,设置一个闹钟,让每个人知道休息时间开始和结束。当还差2分钟时提醒你的小孩,以免结束地太突然。如果你在休息时间都没有空,那么可以提前15分钟叫醒你的小孩,利用这段时间在早上做些有趣的事情。你也许不认为15分钟有什么很大的意义,但是对于孩子来说,可是有15分钟和你在一起。
4. Break time: Everyone is busy. Some parents are busier than others. Slide in a “break time” so that you and your children can spend 15 minutes or a half hour together. Set a timer if you need to so that everyone knows when “break time” starts and finishes. Give warnings to your children when 2 minutes are left so that it doesn’t come as a surprise. Don’t even have break time available? Wake your child up 15 minutes early so that you can spend a little extra time doing something fun in the morning. You might not think that 15 minutes is any significant time at all, but to a child, it is 15 extra minutes with you.
和孩子们待在一起,这可以给他们提供学习的机会。最重要的是,你和孩子有时间沟通交流。在沟通过程中,要让孩子切实感觉到关爱。所以,起床后的几分钟,可以把咖啡设置自动档,然后利用这些时间和你的小孩待在一起。当你以后回首,你会非常感谢这些回忆。
Spending time with your children provides them with opportunities to learn and to be heard. Most of all, it provides you and your children with time to connect. It’s these connections that make your children feel loved. So leave the beds unstripped for another few minutes and put the coffee on an automatic timer. Take those extra moments to spend with your children. When you look back, you will be thankful for the memories.
标签:孩子
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2010-11-12 23:12 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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