在线词典,在线翻译

超高明的病假借口

所属:生活杂谈 作者:webmaster 阅读:21218 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

没有人希望自己成为滥用病假特权的员工。或者说,没有人希望别人都这样认为他。最近由一个工作网站CareerBuilder举办的一次投票显示,本年度29%的员工在身体健康的状态下请过一天病假。当然,这需要一系列的技巧来让这个事件不会出现在你的年终评估上:选择一个可信的虚假病因。这需要天分,狡诈和满腔热情来对你的衣食父母撒谎。这也需要一个周全的计划。所以下次你还在想这样做时,请仔细阅读以下来自专家的建议并从中选择最适合你的方法。
Nobody wants to be the kind of employee who abuses sick-day privileges. Or, rather, nobody wants to look like one. In a recent poll conducted by job website CareerBuilder, 29 percent of workers took a sick day this year when they were feeling just fine. This, of course, calls for a skill set that won't show up on your yearend evaluation: coming up with a believable fake illness. It takes talent, cunning, and a willingness to lie through your teeth to the people who pay you. It also requires a sound game plan. So next time you do it, take your cues from the experts and choose the option that best suits you.
选项1:宣称自己染上了恐怖的传染病
Option 1: Be Frighteningly Contagious
《Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have》(杞人忧天的口袋指南——你可能已经得上的恐怖疾病)的作者Dennis DiClaudio向我们解释说,有三件事情至关重要:传染性,传染性和传染性。“确保你的上司最为看重的是公司的整体利益,”DiClaudio说到:“让他们相信他们的健康正受到威胁。”但是同时也要实际一点:别用一些类似于‘我得了恶心的淋病’之类的借口。同时,这种病最好能通过空气传播,肺结核是个不错的选择,但是这也可能会让别人以后问你为什么还没有死之类的问题。可以试试百日咳之类的病——没有人会想和你说话的。
Dennis DiClaudio, author of The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have, explains that there are three things that matter: contagion, contagion, and contagion. "Make certain your supervisor puts their best interests above those of the company," DiClaudio says. "Make them believe their health is at risk." However, keep it practical: Avoid excuses like "I have a nasty case of gonorrhea." Also, keep it airborne. Tuberculosis is good, but it could lead to awkward conversations about why you're not dead. Try whooping cough instead—no one will want to talk to you.
选项2:选一个名字牛的病
Option 2: Pick a Name-Brand Disease
别选一个需要奥斯卡级别演技的病。对于初入行的人来说,DiClaudio建议使用这个和蔼可亲的名字:坏死性肌膜炎失调,而其实它更为通俗的理解就是吃生东西细菌感染了。“对于这种病有一打的名字。”DiClaudio说。“第一,这种病一开始的症状也就是咽喉肿痛,有点发烧并同时伴随一点恶心。”而这都非常好伪造——即使是《豪斯医生》的演员也能胜任。第二点,在《豪斯医生》中提到过的,“这会给别人一种官方正统的感觉。”而且由于这种病需要手术,你可以为今年冬天准备一个长点的假期了。
Don't take on an illness that requires an Oscar-worthy performance. For beginners, DiClaudio recommends the pleasantly titled disorder necrotizing fasciitis, more commonly known as flesh-eating bacteria. "It has a couple of things going for it," DiClaudio says. "One, it originally presents itself as little more than a sore throat, a fever, and a mild case of nausea," all of which are easy to fake—even for the cast of House. And two, it was mentioned on House, "which gives it an air of legitimacy." Since the disease requires surgery, be sure to use it for a long vacation this winter.
选项3:别真进医院了
Option 3: Don't Actually Get Hospitalized
纽约西奈山医学院的神经学教授Samuel E.Gandy博士建议使用一些主观性的疾病,而不是一些可能会导致实际病症的症状。“背疼,脖子疼和头疼是最容易假造的症状。”这对那些想要好好睡一觉的人来说是个绝佳的借口口。“对背疼来说躺床上休息一下是最好的药方。”他说。“如果你需要伪造一份能帮你上床睡觉的文书,你就应该从这个地方开始。”
Dr. Samuel E. Gandy, a professor of neurology and psychiatry at New York's Mount Sinai School of Medicine, suggests subjective ailments rather than symptoms that could lead to an actual elevation. "Back pain, neck pain, and headache are among the easiest to fake." It's a good lie for those looking to catch up on sleep. "Bed rest is the best prescription for back pain," he says. "If you want to trick a doc into sending you to bed for a week, that's where you should start."
标签:逼真 借口
190
2010-11-09 23:29 编辑:kuaileyingyu
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有0条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
您可能还感兴趣的文章:
  • [成长励志]教你如何打消所有的借口

    We all make excuses. But the successful ones are those who can kill the excuses like the miserable maggots they are. I’m too tired. I don’t have the time. I don’t feel motivat
  • [漫画英语]分担体重

    “我是一名妻子、母亲、女儿、妹妹、堂妹、侄女、阿姨......这样算下来每种身份只有23磅嘛”
>>精华推荐阅读
热门评论文章