Chinese people, why are you unhappy? What stole happiness away from Chinesepeople? Author Hei Jian visited 40 countries to seek happiness.
几年以前，莱斯特大学的社会心理学家白先生访问了来自178个国家和地区的超过80000 人后，绘制出了世界上第一个“世界幸福地图”。令人吃惊的是，排在第一位的是丹麦。丹麦是个冰雪的国家，她的最南纬度仍是中国的北部省份——黑龙江（中国最北的省）。丹麦还是个所得税高达50%-70% 的高税收国家。所以，为何丹麦人民的幸福感高于其他国家和地区的人呢？
A few years ago, University of Leicestersocial psychologist White visited over 80,000 people from 178 countries andregions and drew the world’s first “World Map of Happiness”. Surprisingly, thetop county was Denmark.Denmark is a country of iceand snow, the southernmost latitude is still north of Heilongjiang Province ofChina (China’snorthernmost province). And Denmarkis also a high-tax country with 50%-70% of income tax. So why are Danish peopleso much happier than people of other countries and regions?
He believes that in Denmark, although with a high rateof taxes, the Danish government is able to use the taxes on the people. Thegovernment is responsible for all citizens’ health care and education, andcares for children and the elderly in every possible way. It is ranked first inthe world for average money spent per person. Therefore in Denmark, aperson who picks up trash for living can be neighbor of people of middle class,and can live equally and proudly. Jan Dion picks up trash for living, he saidhe does not mind his way of life, because he only needs to work 5 hours a dayand spends the rest of time with his family. No one judges his job. He enjoyslife because he has many friends. Whenever his children wave at him or his wifehands over a cup of hot coffee, he feels extremely happy.
When we talk about Singapore, the first thought isthat this country has strict and harsh laws. Singapore has very detailed legalprovisions. Chewing gum or having long hair may be penalized. If you havecommitted a felony, you may also be tied up and whipped by bamboo whips. Butunexpectedly, Singapore isactually the happiest place in Asia. Thesurvey also showed that people living in the slums of Calcutta,India are happier thanresidents of California.Californians may have more food and better shelters, but the homeless in India have eachother.
In Denmark,happiness comes from equality; in Singapore,happiness comes from the rule of law; in the slums of Calcutta, India,happiness comes from the hearts of people that depends on each other.
It is not difficult to see, whether a personis happy or not, largely depends on two aspects. One is external, that is thesocial environment we live in; the other is internal, that is our personalattitude to life. Today, we (Chinese people) are not happy, also can beanalyzed in several aspects.
1. Lack of faith (beliefs)
Most people do not know what the expectationsare in one’s whole life, simply put it, you do not know what you want.Confucius ate coarse rice, drank water, didn’t even have pillows when sleepingand used his arms as pillows, but Confucius said, “Happiness is within”; Hesaid, “A basket of cooked rice, a ladle of water, living in the ghetto alley”,others might think this is an unbearable life, but Confucius was able to “keephis happiness”. Why? Because he knew what he is pursuing in this life.
2. Always comparing
Western saying goes, Whether a person isfortunate or not, happy or not, does not depend on how big of accomplishmenthe/she has achieved, but from the way how the neighbors look at them. When whatwe are pursuing is not happiness, but to be happier than others, then happinesswill be even further away from us.
3. Living in happiness without realizing it
If a light has been constantly lit, you willnot pay attention to it, but if it is brighter and darker at times, or if it ison and off at times, you will notice. Similarly, sometimes we are envied byothers, but we hardly notice it. Only if one day we loss that, then we willrealize.
4. Not moved by beautiful things
“The spring wind is so selfless, not askingfor anything in return but blossomed millions of flowers.” We may not have theability to create beauty, but have we been appreciating the beauty of nature,or the beautiful things created by others? We often ignore and unaware of thenatural beauty, artistic beauty, spiritual beauty and many beautiful things inlife around us.
5. Do not know how to give
Zhang Shangying from Song dynasty said,“Nothing is happier than being happy of doing good deeds”, only a person whoknows how to give rather than just take can be truly happy. Charity is not aprivilege of the rich. Donating millions to disaster relief is charity, give astranger a smile is also charity.
6. Not being content
How much does a person need to be satisfied?Never enough!
When you are not happy because you don’t haveshoes, have you noticed those who do not have feet? Contentment bringshappiness.
Harold Albert is the academic director of the University of California. Once he walked on the streetfull of dissatisfaction and confusion because he had already lost his job andwas looking for new work. He walked in the road like a depressed person,completely lost confidence and courage.
Just then, a man with no legs came, sitting ona small wooden platform which was attached with wheels from old skates. Hecarried 2 pieces of wood and wheeled himself across the street.
When Harold saw him, he had just crossed thestreet, trying to raise himself a few inches to get on the pavement. Harold’seyes met his, the disabled man said happily, “Good morning! Sr. Nice morningweather, is not it?” At the time Harold felt a strange sense of satisfaction.He thought, I have 2 legs, he has no legs, but he is so happy, what reason do Ihave to be upset? So Harold became more confident, and went on happily.
7. Anxiety is everywhere
Anxiety of safety, wealth, health and anxietyof children’s education and employment… Only a person who is carefree can behappy.
8. Too much pressure/stress
Political pressure, pressure from work,family, emotional stress, financial stress, interpersonal pressure,psychological pressure and physical pressure
9. Standards are too high
Using person’s own standard to demand others“If I can, why can’t you?”
Using other’s standard to demand oneself, “Ifhe can, why can’t I?”
10. Not being oneself
A person who becomes a good son, a goodhusband, a good father, a good friend, a good partner… but if a person cannotbecome someone that himself/herself desires, always fighting with oneself, thenthis person has no balance, and naturally, it is difficult for him/her to betruly happy.
2010-09-29 00:00 编辑：kuaileyingyu
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