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宽恕、释怀

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耶稣教导我们要原谅我们的敌人和那些曾经伤害过我们的人。这里有一些方法可以帮助你做到这点。
Jesus instructs us to forgive our enemies and those who have hurt us. Here's how.
我们必须要爱我们的敌人,我们必须为伤害过我们的人祈祷。我们必须原谅那些惹我们生气的人。
We must love our enemies. We must pray for those who have hurt us. We must forgive those about whom we are embittered.
这是为什么呢?因为耶稣是这样说的。还有别的原因么?这里有一个“自私”的理由。这样做对我们自己有好处。如果我们想要去感受上帝的爱的祝福,我们就必须要愿意无条件的去爱别人,这就是宽恕的定义吧。这是Vernon M. Sylvest说的。他是一个医生,同时也是一个忠实的祈祷者。他在里士满和弗吉尼亚州拥有完善的医疗诊所,并且他也是“公式:谁生病了,谁就获得了幸福”的作者。如果我们想让上帝回应我们的祈祷,那么首先我们必须要宽恕那些伤害了我们的人,并且必须要向上帝请求,请求上帝庇护他们。这是规则。
Why? Jesus said so. Why else? Here's a "selfish" reason. It's for our own good. We must be willing to love unconditionally, which is what forgiveness is, if we want to experience the blessings of God's love, says Vernon M. Sylvest, M.D., a physician with a prayer-based, holistic medical practice in Richmond, Virginia, and author of "The Formula: Who Gets Sick, Who Gets Well." If we want God to answer our prayers, then we must forgive those we feel have harmed us and we must ask God to bless them. It's the rule.
圣马可福音引用了耶稣关于此的话:“无论你在哪里祷告,若想起有人曾经得罪过你,就饶恕他吧,这样好叫神也饶恕你的过错。但若你不愿饶恕他们,同样地,神也不将饶恕你的过错。”(选自《马克福音》第11章第25、26节 NKJV)
The Gospel of St. Mark quotes Jesus on this: "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses."
Siang-Yang Tan博士,是加利福尼亚州上的帕萨迪娜城中一个名为富勒的神学院的心理学教授,同时也是格兰岱尔第一福音教会的资深牧师。他曾说过,在我们指望祈祷得到回应之前,我们要展现并保持一颗宽容的心,放下积怨,痛苦,仇恨,和复仇的欲望。我们攻击别人的行为会伤害到自己,会妨碍到自己,会毁掉我们祷告的努力。
Before we can expect our prayers to be answered, we need to develop and maintain forgiving hearts, letting go of grudges, bitterness, hatred, or a desire for revenge and retaliation, says the Rev. Siang-Yang Tan, Ph.D., professor of psychology in the graduate school of psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., and senior pastor of First Evangelical Church in Glendale, Calif. What we hold against someone else will hurt us, hinder us, and stymie our prayer efforts.
还有一个更好的理由去宽恕他人:我们不愿意迁怒于自己或者别人,因为这会阻碍我们接受上帝的爱,这样的话我们也就无法目睹神对于祈祷的回应了。这是Sylvest教授说的。
Here's another good reason to forgive: If we are unwilling to let go of our anger toward another or ourselves, it becomes our block to God's love; thus we do not witness prayers answered, says Dr. Sylvest.
这种观点得到了天主教圣经学者Marilyn Gustin的回应,她在她的论文“什么是圣经中描述的宽恕”中写道:“爱别人和接受爱的能力,以及原谅别人和被别人原谅的能力是彼此密切联系的。在复杂的人生中,没有人能说清到底是哪个先于哪个而存在。重点就在于两种能力是循环交替的。”
This sentiment is echoed by Catholic Scripture scholar Marilyn Gustin in her treatise, "What the Bible says about Forgiveness." She writes: "The capacity to love and receive love and the capacity to forgive and receive forgiveness are intimately bound to each other. Who could say which comes first in all the complexities of a human life. It is vital to see that both capacities move circularly."
因此,祈求宽恕吧。求上帝饶恕我们任何邪恶的或是复仇的想法吧,求上帝帮助我们学会宽恕他人吧。这是Sylvest博士的建议。
So pray for forgiveness. Ask God to forgive us for any ill or vengeful thoughts, and ask God to help us learn to forgive others, recommends Dr. Sylvest.
这不是一些新的有争议的信念教条。有一些古老的智慧出自于最初几个世纪的僧侣之口,他们就像沙漠教父们一般为人所知。例如,Abbot Zeno 曾说过,“如果一个人希望上帝能够很快地听到他的祷告,那么在他为其他东西甚至是为他自己的灵魂祈祷之前,他必须先伸出双手向着上帝,诚心地为他的敌人祈祷。通过这种行为,上帝将会听到他要求的一切。”
This is not some new or controversial faith teaching. Some ancient wisdom on this comes from the monks of the first few centuries, known as the Desert Fathers. For instance, Abbot Zeno said, "If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands toward God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action God will hear everything that he asks."
我们应该在什么时候原谅那些伤害过我们的人呢?又该在什么时候为我们的敌人祈祷?耶稣对此一目了然。他说我们可以在祷告过程中的任何时候这样做。
When should we forgive those who have hurt us? When should we pray for our enemies? Jesus is pretty clear on this. He says that we should do it anytime we pray.
那么,如何去宽恕呢?
How to Forgive
Sylves教授认为,这不仅仅是一句“我原谅你了”就可以了的。
It's not enough to just say, "I forgive you," says Dr. Sylves
他说,重要的是要去理解什么是宽恕,什么不是。宽恕不是一句”你是一个做了很多坏事的恶人,但我原谅你,因为我的思想是成熟并在发展的“或者是”我也是个糟糕的,可怕的人,同样也会做坏事,因此我理应原谅你“。宽恕是不附加”如果“或是”但是“的条件的,”如果你改变,我将会原谅你“或”我会原谅,但我绝不会遗忘“都不是真正的宽恕。他说,宽恕,就像爱一样,是无条件的。
It's important to understand what forgiveness is and what it is not, he says. Forgiveness is not saying, "Although you are a miserable person who does terrible things, I forgive you because I am spiritually mature and evolved." Or, "I'm a terrible, miserable person, too, who also does miserable things, so of course I forgive you." And forgiveness doesn't have "ifs" or "buts" attached, such as, "I'll forgive you if you change" or "I'll forgive, but I'll never forget." Forgiveness, he says, like the love that makes it possible, is unconditional.
Sylvest博士说,真正的宽恕是愿意放弃审判,用不同的看法去对待,用爱和喜悦代替恐惧和仇恨去感化。
True forgiveness is willingness to let go of judgments and see the situation differently. It has to do with experiencing love and joy instead of fear and hate, says Dr. Sylvest.
该如何做到呢?我们需要摒弃旧的观念,打开心扉去接受那些反应上帝之爱的新观念-----消除恐惧,悔恨,没有来由的悲痛和愤怒,让爱和喜悦取代它们。
How do we do this? We need to surrender old perceptions and open ourselves to new ones that reflect the love of God--releasing fear, guilt, unresolved grief, and anger, and letting it be replaced by love and joy.
我们不能改变我们的知觉,但是上帝可以。Sylvest博士说,我们应该在祈祷中承认,我们在生某个人的气或是我们感到悔恨,但我们不愿意有这些情绪。我们需要承认我们愿意看到不一样的情形,愿意感受上帝对别人和对我们的爱。然后,我们需要放开思想,让上帝改造我们,让上帝向我们展现如何去爱那些人,让上帝创造一个新的视角。他会这么做,如果我们向他请求。
We can't change our feelings, but God can, says Dr. Sylvest. We should acknowledge in prayer that we are angry at a person or that we feel guilty, but that we are willing to not have those feelings. We need to acknowledge that we're willing to see the situation differently and feel love for that person and ourselves. Then we need to open our minds and allow God to work on us; allow God to show us how to love that person; allow God to create a new perspective. He always will if we ask.
我们可能会合唱这些话,并且在祈祷时祈祷后一遍又一遍的复述这些话直到我们真的这样感觉。那是我们要做的事,Sylvest博士说,我们应该祈祷直到真的发生。
We may choke on those words and have to say them over and over in prayer after prayer until we really feel them. But that is our job, says Dr. Sylvest. We should pray it through until it happens, he advises.
另一件我们必须记住的事是:“我会原谅,但我绝不会遗忘 “的观念不是宽恕,Sylvest博士说,真正的宽恕是原谅并且遗忘。
Another thing to remember: The concept "I will forgive, but I will not forget" is not forgiveness at all, says Dr. Sylvest. "Real forgiveness is to forgive and to forget," he says.
Sylvest博士指出,不带原谅的遗忘也是不行的,”当我们压抑自己消极的记忆和感受时,我们可能需要去记住它才可以知道如何去原谅。事情的顺序是先原谅再遗忘。“
But forgetting without forgiveness doe not work, says Dr. Sylvest. "When we repress negative memories and feelings, they may have to be remembered so that we can know how to reach forgiveness. The order of things is to forgive and then forget.
只要我们把握这一点,它就会对我们产生深远的影响,甚至改善我们的身体状况。Redford B. Williams是精神病学博士,他也是位于美国北卡罗来纳州的杜克大学医疗中心行为医疗调查中心的主任,他在他的著作,”信任的心“中写道,调查表明,敌意和愤怒与患上某些像冠心病等疾病几率的增加,在生物学上有十分明确的联系。
If we master this, it will have profound effects on us, even improve our health. Research has shown that there are definite biological links between hostility and anger and the increased risk of certain diseases like coronary heart disease, says Redford B. Williams, M.D., professor of psychiatry and director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, in his book, "The Trusting Heart."
Williams博士也指出,其他那些积极地情绪,例如信任,原谅,爱,似乎可以改善身体的健康状况。
Dr. Williams also states that other positive emotions like trust, forgiveness, and love seem to enhance physical health.
是的,宽恕是一种力量,Sylvest博士说,它强大到足以影响我们生活的方方面面。
Yes, forgiving is powerful, says Dr. Sylvest, powerful enough to affect all aspects of our lives.
标签:释怀 宽恕
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2010-08-25 20:51 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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