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快乐的做母亲

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没有人告诉我身为人母是如此轻松的事情。从怀孕起,就不断有人“警告”我要准备迎接人生中最为艰难的工作。他们几乎把其它所有负面的情况说了个遍:遭受长达数年之久的睡眠不足,忍受空虚无聊并在生活中失去自我;我还曾被无数乳头破裂的故事反复轰炸过数遍;还有无尽的伴随着地毯上呕奶印记的不眠之夜。我便因此深深陷入担忧之中,担心我怎么才能应付得过来。我是一个无觉不行的人,而且长期以来养成了独立做事的习惯,难道迎接新生命——我自己的小生命会使我焦头烂额吗?
There is one thing nobody warned me about when I became a mother: what a breeze it would be. I was warned about everything else. All I had been told since I became pregnant was to prepare myself for the toughest job of my life. For years of sleep deprivation, boredom (yes, boredom) and my life not being my own. I was bombarded with tales of cracked nipples, all-night vigils and vomit on the carpet. I was more than mildly worried, as a result, about how on earth I would cope. I am someone who needs my sleep and had a decades long habit of calling my own shots. Would the requirement to be at the beck and call of a little one – even my little one – do my head in?
我之后竟惊喜的发现,身为人母是我有生以来最为顺畅的工作,凭借本能便可乐在其中。诚然,其间有很多似乎毫无尽头的不眠之夜,可是如果用整夜时间来陪伴你此生的至爱的话,这些艰辛又算得了什么呢?我知道我的宝宝只有九个月大,他甚至还不会爬,更别说到处哭喊或是打翻餐具;我知道我才有一个宝宝,而且还很健康,我也没有患上如同诅咒般的产后抑郁症。但我仍然觉得没有必要杞人忧天。
So, I got the most pleasant surprise to find that being a mum is one of the most seamless, joyful, intuitive things I have ever done. Yes, there are sleepless nights (many of them, in a seemingly endless row), but there is nothing difficult about being up all night with the love of your life. I know our baby boy is only nine months old and isn't even crawling yet, let alone tearing through the house crashing pots on to the floor. I know I only have one child who is healthy and I, thankfully, escaped the cruel curse of postnatal depression, but still I can't see what all the fuss is about.
这并不是艰辛。艰辛是渴望膝下有子却毫无希望;艰辛是对抗癌症病魔或是自己的儿女患上绝症;艰辛是把自己栓在一个占据你80%时间却乏味而毫无生气的工作上。但抚慰一个呱呱哭泣而无法入睡的宝宝却是一项殊荣,它们渴求的只是母爱,没有一丝铜臭味。这,不是艰辛。尽管抹下衣服上宝宝的吐奶然后冲出们去开会其实挺有趣,却不算做难堪。
But it is not hard. Hard is being tied to a soulless job for 80 per cent of your waking hours. Hard is fighting cancer, or having a child who is. Or not being able to conceive a child when you ache for nothing more. But soothing a crying baby who won't sleep for love nor money is a privilege, not a hardship. Wiping spew off your jacket before bolting out the door to a meeting is funny, not a drama.
是的,身为人母会使人疲惫不堪、会榨走你的时间,甚至收个邮件或是冲个澡都会成为突然降临的奢侈。倘若问我为人母的感觉,我觉得,这是必经之路,却不会荆棘密布。
Yes, it is tiring, and yes, it is time-consuming with showers and emails a sudden extravagance. Ask me if I have another, but from where I stand motherhood is a cinch.
这么说却不太合潮流。过去的一二十年中,很多20多岁到40多岁的女性都曾不断尝试着使为人母与做事业达到和谐的平衡。我们也曾听闻母亲们的哭泣,她们奉献了自己的一切。
It is not fashionable to say so. For the past decade or two, many women in their 20s, 30s and even 40s have been trying to squeeze in a career and motherhood simultaneously, and we have heard the cry of mothers' martyrdom.
为人母可能会牺牲一切,却并非一定去竭尽所有。母亲们总是抱怨养育宝宝有多么艰难,互相比谁的宝宝睡得最少,乱丢东西最多,比谁每天得时间最少。这俨然已经变成一种社交方式了。
And it can be. It just doesn't have to be. It has become de rigueur to complain about how arduous the whole thing is, one-upping each other over whose baby sleeps the least, chucks the most and who has fewer hours in the day.
一位叫Jenny Dillon的记者用其一己之言证实了一点:当今的母亲们正“延续一个骗局”,表面上看养育宝宝似乎和以前一样困难。其实,家用电器已经让我们轻松许多。但我觉得我们仍可以从妈妈和外婆那里学到些东西。那时还没有网上购物,也没有一次性纸尿裤。她们在陷入比今天更多的孩子所带来的双倍负担时却没有一句怨言。的确,她们都不工作(大部分),但她们仍然珍惜做母亲的时光,那是人生中最美好的日子。
Journalist Jenny Dillon might be pushing it with her claims that mothers today are “perpetuating a hoax”, pretending it's as hard as it used to be, household appliances apparently putting us on “Easy Street”. But I do think we could learn a thing or two from our mothers and grandmothers. You never heard a peep out of them about mucking in to double the kids and double the workload, with no online groceries or disposable nappies. Sure, they didn't work (most of them) but they also appreciated that being a mum was one of the better things in life.
我的母亲有六个孩子,没人帮她,有时还得去工作。可她还是把所有的母爱和感情都投入其中。而我们这一代养育宝宝却像是成了功臣。这并不是说我们不知到我们想要什么。多数人真切地想做母亲,她们渴望把宝宝抱在怀里的时光。如果只因为那点读书的时间就放弃做母亲的机会,那该是多么可悲的事情啊。
My mum had six children, no help and, on occasion, a job. Yet she gave it her all with grace and joy. Our generation acts as if we deserve a medal. It's not as if we didn't know what we were signing up for. Most mothers want to be mothers, longing for the day when we will hold our own baby in our arms.How tragic to begrudge it because we can't find time to read a book.
一个母亲曾警告过我:“你会厌烦晚上喂奶的。” 可我从来没厌烦过,相反,我却乐此不疲。我听取了姐姐的建议:要珍惜和宝宝独处的每一刻,就像路上唯一的一抹灯光,不愿让每一秒轻易地逝去。
“You will resent the night feeds,” one mother warned me. I never did. I relished them. I took my sister's advice: to cherish those moments when it was just my baby and me together, the only light on in the street. I didn't want to will away one second.
另一个想获得认同感的母亲质疑道:“难道你不讨厌哭声么?”
“Don't you hate the sound of their crying?” another mother queried, searching for camaraderie.
不,从来没有。
No. I didn't and I don't.
宝宝的哭声并不是简单的吵闹,那表示它们饿了或是累了。我们正是去帮助它们解决问题的人。
Babies don't cry to annoy us. They cry because they are hungry or tired and we are here to solve that.
在我把我对宝宝的喜爱供认不讳后,有人说:“那只是因为你的宝宝省事儿罢了”
“It's just because you have an easy baby,” say mums when I confess (it feels like a confession) how much I love it.
我们确实拥有一个省事儿的宝宝。目前为止,他总是在笑,他喜欢进食,喜欢睡觉。我很幸运地找到了一个使我兴奋的兼职工作和一家不错的托儿所。和多数母亲一样,我不得不辗转与事业与家庭之间(像我曾经被警告过的那样),经常要在缺觉的混沌中主持六个小时的新闻直播节目。直到最近,我们的宝宝才早上四点钟醒来。我还对宝宝的精神健康有强烈的责任感。
We do have an easy baby. So far. He laughs a lot, loves his food and sleeps, well, like a baby. And I am blessed to have a stimulating part-time job and good childcare. Like most mums I have to “juggle” – just as I was warned – often presenting six hours of live TV news in a fog of sleeplessness. Until recently our baby woke at 4am. I also feel an overwhelming responsibility for our baby's emotional well-being.
但是艰辛么?不。这更加使我振奋而且给我带来一种成就感。我竟从不知道我心中蕴藏着如此之多的爱。只是之前却没人“警告”过我。
But hard? No. Exhilarating and rewarding more like it.I never knew I had such capacity to love. Nobody warned me about that.
标签:快乐 母亲
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2010-08-08 22:46 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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  • Guest 说:

    To be a good and happy mum. To cherish every moment when it was just me and my babay together. They will grow up very quickly day by day.

    2010-08-09 15:30 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
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    yhhhg fbb bg hbc

    2010-08-11 21:57 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 板凳
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    good

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