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2008年5月令布鲁斯·费勒难以忘怀--“之前的我是个健康人”。不仅是健康,之前的费勒可以说是如日中天。美满的婚姻,一对美丽的双胞胎,顺便,他还是一位畅销书作家。他的作品《走读圣经(Walking the Bible)》广受好评,还为他赢得了“行者(The Walking Guy)”的美誉。他的工作是名副其实的周游整个世界,体验别人的生活。
Bruce Feiler remembers how he felt in May 2008. "I was a healthy person," and he was on the top of the world. Happily married, father to twin girls and a best-selling author. His book "Walking the Bible" was celebrated, and it gave him the nickname, "The Walking Guy." He made a living exploring the world, literally walking in other people's shoes.
但5月的那一天,一份常规血液检查却让他在自己的轨道上停下脚步。“医生告诉我说,你的碱性磷酸酶指数(alk phosphatase )很高。”费勒回忆道。“她当时只是含糊地解释说这个指数说明你的肝脏或者骨骼可能有问题。肝脏测试没发现问题。然后,她几乎是有一搭没一搭地建议说,要不你去做个全身骨扫描吧。”
But on that day in May, he was stopped in his tracks by a routine blood test. "My doctor says your alk phosphatase number is high," Feiler recalls. "She explains that alk phosphatase vaguely suggesting that there is something wrong with your liver or your bones. Another test, my liver is cleared and she says almost like on a whim, why don't you get a full-body bone scan?"
That test revealed a growth on his left femur, or thighbone. Feiler remembers his doctor was not concerned. "She says. It looks like nothing, don't worry, it's not like you have cancer. I repeated that a lot. 'Don't worry,' I say to my parents. 'Don't worry,' I say to my wife. 'Don't worry,' I say to myself. I don't have cancer."
But Feiler's wife, Linda, had a hunch that something was wrong: "You know as a wife, as a spouse. You know as a parent when something's just off. And he just didn't look himself. "
A follow-up X-ray and MRI of his left leg revealed an 8-inch cancerous tumor. The official diagnosis was an osteosarcoma. Osteosarcomas strike just 900 Americans a year. Two-thirds of them are younger than 40. Feiler was 43.
“这一诊断并不罕见” 纽约斯隆-凯特林(Memorial Sloan-Kettering)癌症研究中心手术部副主任约翰·希利博士说。“我知道,这种癌症对我的病人会毫不留情。可我对癌症也会毫不留情。”
"It's uncommon to have this diagnosis," says Dr. John Healey, vice chair of the Department of Surgery at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital. "I know it's not going to show my patient any mercy, and I'm not going to show it any mercy."
His colleague, medical oncologist Robert Maki, said Feiler's age was not in his favor. "The bulk of people who get osteogenesis sarcoma are below age 21. They seem to do less well overall. We don't know exactly why that is the case, what is the difference. They just don't respond as well for some reason. "
News of the diagnosis terrified Feiler. "There's never a moment that is not shadowed in some way by that cancer, illness, the idea of dying is never that far away," he says.
这个以走路为生的人知道,自己也许永远不能再走路了。他还知道,也许不能亲眼看着自己的双胞胎女儿--伊甸和泰碧长大了。“我一直在追求别人难以梦想的梦想。我不在了,谁教我的女儿们如何梦想呢?谁又会去教她们如何跑马拉松,如何开一家餐馆,或是写一本书,和如何做最脆的起酥呢?谁会对她们说 ‘你们一定行’?”
The man who'd made a living by walking knew he might never walk again. He knew that he might not live to see his twin daughters, Eden and Tybee, grow up. "I'm a person who has tried in my life to dream undreamable dreams. Who's gonna teach them how to dream? Who's the person that's gonna tell them if they want to run a marathon, open a restaurant, write a book, cook the hardest soufflé. Who's gonna say to them, 'You can do it?'"
Feiler came up with a extraordinary answer. He would put together a group of men and call them his council of dads. Six men from different stages of Feiler's life who could be Feiler's voice, and could teach his girls the life lessons he might not be there to teach.
Jeff Shumlin and Feiler met traveling the world. As comfortable on a tractor in Maine as on a train platform in Europe, Shumlin would teach the girls how to really know and learn the world around them. For Shumlin, even a mud puddle can make for an adventure,
"Go out and jump in the mud puddle," he would tell the girls. "Thrash around. Find out what it feels like and come out covered in mud. As long as you jump in, there will always be something to learn."
For childhood friend Ben Edwards, it was not about the mud puddles, but the tadpoles. They walked into kindergarten holding hands. And spent their afternoons trying to catch tadpoles in the neighborhood drainage ditch that they could grow into frogs. For Feiler, it became a metaphor. "He is my tadpole. He is that friend who was there at the beginning, who came back at a moment of possible ending to remind me where we came from."
Edwards would teach Feiler's girls about history, fun and friendship. "You just want your kids to have a base of where they're from," Edwards says, "And hopefully I can give them that base and they remember, you know, that this is tadpoles and frogs and just happy, happy times."
It would take four other men to capture the other facets of Feiler's personality, and of his voice. His college roommate. His business partner. A fellow writer. His closest confidant. These men would step in if the unthinkable happened. And, during Feiler's battle with cancer, they would fight alongside him.
Feiler would need an army. His yearlong roller-coaster fight for life bought him to the brink of death. Would he survive? And, would the council be there for his girls?
标签:女儿 人世 照看
2010-07-20 12:52 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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