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教你如何消消气

所属:成长励志 作者:网络转载 阅读:4696 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

朝老板大喊大叫?对同事厉声斥责?把手机砸在电脑显示器上?
Scream at the boss? Snap at a colleague? Throw your cell phone into your computer monitor?
在大多数情况下,愤怒并不是一种疾病,而是一种正常的人类情绪,只不过在过度、过于频繁发生的时候才会导致问题。通过实际的技巧,人们可以学会管理自己的愤怒情绪。
In most cases anger isn't an illness but a normal human emotion that causes problems when it flares too hot, too often. People can learn to manage their anger with practical skills.
心理学家认为,个人对话治疗是解决愤怒问题最有效的方法。愤怒并非单独产生的,它还隐含和嵌入着许多其它情绪,比如伤心、悲痛、羞辱等等。一旦有机会,愤怒的人总是想倾诉。
Psychologists believe that individual talk therapy is the most effective for anger problems. Anger doesn't occur by itself. It's nested and embedded with a lot of other emotions -- sadness, grief, shame. Angry people want to talk, given the opportunity.
有助于控制脾气的小贴士
Tips to Help Keep A Temper in Check
计算愤怒的成本。许多患有愤怒问题的人都会认为愤怒给予他们一定的优势,让他们具有优越感。其实恰恰相反,你看起来就像个白痴。
--Calculate what your anger is costing you. Many people with anger problems think anger gives them an edge, and establishes superiority. Instead, you just look like an idiot.
小心自言自语的方式。如果你总是在说这件事情是多么糟糕,让你自己感觉十足是个受害者的话,你就会变得更加愤怒。
--Be aware of how you talk to yourself. If you keep saying how awful this is and making yourself feel alike a victim, you will get more angry.
如果你感觉自己就要大发雷霆,那么不妨在爆发之前稍作停顿。过15分钟再开口,或者是过一个小时再发邮件。给自己多个选择。如果在一个小时之内这件事情变得不再那么重要的话,那么就让它过去吧。它不值得你为之生气。
--If you feel a blowup coming on, give yourself a time-out before acting on it. Wait 15 minutes before you say something, or an hour before you send an email. Keep your options open. If it's not going to be important in an hour, then let it go. It's not worth getting angry about.
记下“愤怒日志”,监控导致自己愤怒的因素。学习辨认和避免触发愤怒的扳机。
-Keep an "anger log" to monitor what makes you angry. Learn to identify and avoid your triggers.
莫要沉湎于过去所受的侮辱或者不公平。
-Don't ruminate on past affronts or injustices.
以锻炼消耗精力,不用拳头。当你的原脑感觉到危险的时候,它会发出“打或逃”的激素链。选择逃而非打,通过锻炼消耗掉多余的肾上腺素和皮质醇。即便是一次轻快的散步也会有助于你平和情绪。
-Get physical, without fists. When your primitive brain senses a threat, it sets off the 'fight or flight' cascade of hormones. Opt for flight instead of fight and burn off the extra adrenaline and cortisol with exercise. Even a brisk walk will help calm you down.
重新组织自己面临的状况。与其把每一次困难或者沮丧的经历看作个人遭受的侮辱,倒不如设想一个善意的解释。
--Reframe the situation. Instead of seeing every inconvenience or frustration as a personal affront, imagine a benign explanation.
找出一个建设性的解决办法应对手头的问题。问问你自己:我现在需要怎么做才能保持平静?这样就会将注意力转移,从专注于考虑对方必须受到怎样的惩罚,转移到要怎样才能以一种良好的方式应对。
--Find a constructive solution to the issue at hand. Ask yourself: What do I need to be okay right now? That shifts the focus from how the other person needs to be punished to how I need to respond in a healthy way.
标签:消气
23
2010-07-20 12:27 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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