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你有多爱她

所属:情感空间 作者:网络转载 阅读:2908 次 评论:4 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

我的朋友约翰总有些事儿说我听,他深知年轻人必须向比自己年长、更老于世故的智者多多请教。比如说,什么样的人值得信任、如何关心他人以及怎样才能活得最充实。
My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them, for instance, who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.
最近,约翰的妻子珍妮特离开了人世。她与癌症抗争了八年,但最终还是她的病魔笑到了最后。
Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.
一天,约翰从他的钱包里拿出一张折叠起来的纸。他告诉我说,这是他在家收拾抽屉时找到的。那是珍妮特写的一封短的情信。信上的内容就像是一个女中学生匆匆写给她的梦中情人的,信中就差再画上一颗写着约翰和珍妮特的名字的心了。但是这封短信却出自于一位生育了七个孩子的母亲——一个与癌症抗争的女人,一个可能只剩下几个月生命的女人。
One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl’s scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.
这封信同时也是一个极好的秘方,它告诉我们如何合力维持一段婚姻。
It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.
珍妮特在开头是这样描述她的丈夫的:“爱着我,照顾着我,关怀着我。”
Janet’s description of her husband begins thus: “Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me.”
虽然约翰一直有心理准备,但显然,他从不拿癌症话题开玩笑。
Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently.
有时他晚上回到家,发现珍妮特陷入了癌症患者经常会遇到的种种抑郁的状态中,他二话不说,马上开车载着珍妮特到她最喜欢的餐馆去。
Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favorite restaurant.
约翰表现出了对珍妮特的体贴,而珍妮特知道这一点。在一个有头脑的人面前你是藏不住事的。
He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.
信的下一行写道:“当我生病时,他帮助我缓解病痛。”珍妮特写下这句时,她的病情也许正处在某一段既可怕又美好的间歇期。在病情突然恶化之前的这个阶段,一切都差不多回到了从前。这时候,你有理由期望一切都结束了,也许永远地告别了病痛。
“Helped me when I was ill,” the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is – almost – as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn’t hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.
“对我极度宽容。”
“Forgave me a lot.”
“在我身边守护着我。”
“Stood by my side.”
对于那些将发表建设性批评意见作为其神圣职责的人,信中还有一条很好的建议:“总是赞美他人。”
And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: “Always praising.”
“尽力满足我的需求。”她在信中接着写道。
“Made sure I had everything I needed,” she goes on to write.
这之后,她将纸翻到背面又添上:“热心。幽默。善良。细心。”然后,她又这样描述了与她一同生活的丈夫——她一生的多数时光中最爱的人:“在我需要你时,你一直在那里支持我。”
After that she has turned over the paper and added: “Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness.”And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved most of her life: “Always there for me when I needed you.”
她写的最后一句话总结了其它的所有内容,我可以想象到,她是经过推敲才在纸上加上了这句话——“好朋友。”
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me when she adds thoughtfully: “Good friend.”
我现在就站在约翰身边,却远远不敢说自己了解失去生命中亲密的人是何滋味——像珍妮特和约翰那样亲密。与其说他需要与人交流谈心,还不如说是我想听他想说些什么。
I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.
“约翰,”我问道,“先把这病撇到一边,就光说这38年婚姻生活,你是怎么跟一个人互相扶持地走过来的?如果某天我妻子生病了,我可不敢保证我能耐着性子一直守在她身边呢。”
“John,” I ask. “How do you stick together with someone through 38 years – not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife’s side if she becomes sick one day?”
“你能,”约翰轻轻地说,“只要你很爱她,你就能做到。”
“You can,” he says quietly. “If you love her enough, you can.”
17
2010-06-27 22:39 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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