在线词典,在线翻译

我的婚姻曾经一团糟

所属:情感空间 作者:webmaster 阅读:5641 次 评论:2 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

从前我和妻子德尔博经常吵架,没完没了地打……打……打……
My wife, Deb, and I used to fight all of the time. It was constant. Fight … fight … fight.
我如果说:“那是红的。”
I would say: “It’s red.”
妻子就会说:“不是,是黑的”
Deb would say: “No, it’s black.”
我们没有神圣婚姻的榜样,也不知道如何才能有和睦的夫妻关系。我12岁那年,爸爸就抛弃了我和离开了我们的家。爸爸走后,妈妈不得不到一家工厂缝制帐篷来供养我们。而妻子的父母都酗酒,她的爸爸简直是个酒鬼。
We had no role models for a godly marriage and didn’t know how to make our relationship succeed. When I was 12 years old, my father abandoned me and our family. With Dad gone, Mom had to go to work in a factory sewing tents to support us. Deb’s parents both drank heavily and her father was an alcoholic.
当我和妻子还是很年轻的时候,我们俩个的关系就不太正常,后来她怀孕了,我们就结婚了。那年,妻子16岁,我15岁,是酒吧里演奏的摇滚乐的吉他手。我们经常吸大麻和服用像LSD(迷幻药)这样的非法毒品。高中的时候我们双双退学,每月靠社会福利过活,对于婚姻的突然开始真的是没有什么准备。
When Deb and I were teenagers, we were promiscuous. We married after Deb became pregnant. She was a young 16-year-old girl and I was a rebellious 15-year-old rock and roll guitar player whose band played in bars. Smoking pot and using illicit drugs like LSD was commonplace. We both dropped out of high school and depended on our monthly welfare check to survive. Not much of a beginning for a marriage.
结婚一年了,我一直在想:我们应该做点什么?我们都没有受过很好的教育,有一个孩子,没有钱,我们什么都没有!
After we had been married for about a year, I remember thinking, What are we going to do? We’re uneducated. We have a baby. We have no money. We have nothing!
当我21岁的时候,我们居住在芝加哥。记得,一天下午,我正坐在我们公寓外面的台阶上弹吉他,一位我不太认识的邻居大哥路过,他问我想不想一起去学习圣经,我说想,然后就跳进他的小汽车。这个决定影响了我的余生。我在学习圣经的小组里,让耶稣基督成为我的救主。三天后,妻子德尔博和邻居的妻子一起去姐妹的圣经学习小组,在那里她也让主来掌管她的生命。
By the time I turned 21, Deb and I found ourselves living in Chicago. I remember sitting on the outside steps of our apartment, playing my guitar one afternoon, and this neighbor guy who I barely knew walked by. He asked, “Hey, do you want to go to Bible study?”“Sure,” I said, and hopped into his car. That one decision directed the rest of my life. I asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior at that Bible study. Three days later Deb went to a women’s Bible study with the neighbor’s wife and she asked the Lord to take control of her life.
我们婚姻的帮助
Help for our marriage
上帝开始渐渐地改变我和妻子,慢慢地他为我们的家创造了非凡的遗产,我们不再是什么也没有了。
God began to gradually change Deb and me, and over time He created a truly remarkable legacy for our family.
刚刚成为基督徒后,我们尽全力弄明白基督信仰到底都包含了什么,我们一起学习神的话语,参加礼拜和查经小组。尽管如此,我们还是继续像从前那样有挣扎并且争吵不休。每当我们争吵得正激烈时,我就会突然想起,“等一等,我们现在可是基督徒,我们不是应该不再这样做了吗?” 更糟的是,我们虽然不再服用从前用的非法毒品,取而代之的却是对一些处方药严重的上瘾。
As new Christians, we did our best to figure out what “this Christian thing” was all about. We learned about God’s Word, went to church, and joined Bible studies. Despite all this, we continued to have struggles and argue with one another. I’d find myself thinking in the midst of a heated discussion, Wait a minute, we’re Christians. We’re not supposed to do this anymore. To make matters worse, the illicit drug use from my teenage years was now replaced by a severe addiction to prescription drugs.
我和妻子那时已经有四个孩子,已经结婚11年,这时生活的本来面目真实地摆在了我们面前。好朋友们都看出我们的婚姻是一团糟。“小子,你们需要帮助啦。”他们关心地说,并且把我们带到了“周末纪念婚姻大会”。
Deb and I had four kids by this time, and we had been married for about 11 years. The reality of life had completely set in. It was obvious to some friends that our marriage was a mess. “Boy, you guys need help!” they lovingly asserted, and sent us to a Weekend to Remember® marriage conference.
那次大会是我们婚姻的转折点。丹尼斯和芭芭拉· 雷尼是大会的演讲人,在他们所讲的故事中我们都看到了自己。他们给了我们极度需要的实用工具。我们紧紧抓住丹尼斯在大会中说的一句讲道词不放─“不允许离婚发生在我们的婚姻上”。那个周末我们开始训练如何和对方沟通……不可以打架的沟通方式。
That conference was a pivotal point in our marriage. Dennis and Barbara Rainey were the speakers, and we remember seeing ourselves in the stories they both told. They gave us the practical tools we so desperately needed. We clung to an exhortation Dennis made at the conference to not allow divorce to be an option in our marriage. That weekend we began our training in how to communicate with one another ... without fighting.
丹尼斯和芭芭拉说:“我们不应该让伴侣为了得到我们的爱而竞争。”我从来都没有想到我服用毒药就是在让妻子为了得到我的爱和毒药竞争。一次妻子对我说:“如果是你爱另外一个女人,我可能知道如何去和她竞争……但是毒药……你爱毒药胜过爱我。”她是说的对。我对毒药沉迷。
Dennis and Barbara said, “We should not make our spouse compete for our affection,” and that really hit home for us. I had never considered that using drugs was another way of making Deb compete for my affection. At one point Deb said to me, “If it was another woman, I could figure out how to compete ... but drugs. You love drugs more than you love me.” She was right. I was addicted.
指导年轻的夫妇
Mentoring younger couples
尽管我和妻子的婚姻经历了许许多多的挑战,但是我们风雨兼程已经走过了三十多个年头。渐渐地,我从毒瘾中摆脱了出来;我付出了极大的努力,但是却是非常值得。而且一直以来都有属灵并且年长的夫妇指导我们两个,我们也开始开心地指导更年轻的夫妇们。
Although Deb and I have had our share of marital challenges, we’ve now stayed together for more than three decades. Over time I was delivered from my drug addiction; it was a lot of hard work, but well worth it. We’ve been mentored by godly, older couples, and joyfully reach out to mentor younger couples.
由于我们非常喜欢在“周末纪念婚姻大会”学到的东西,我们开始在家里和教会向别的夫妇传讲我们的学到的理念,最后,我们建立了“家庭建造者小组”。我们不断地寻找机会分享我们所经历的困难和我们是如何战胜困难的。我们确信夫妻们明白“无论你告诉我们什么,都不会吓到我们,我们不会把你们想得更坏了,因为我们都有不为人知的家丑。
We were so excited about what we had learned at the Weekend to Remember conferences that we began teaching the concepts to other couples in our home and at church. In time, we began HomeBuilders groups. We look for opportunities to share what we’ve been through, and also how we overcame our struggles. We make sure couples understand that, “Whatever you tell us, you’re not going to stun us. We’re not going to think any worse of you; we’ve all got our skeletons in our closets.”
2008年我们成为在密苏里州的布兰森的“周末纪念婚姻大会”的指导者,也就是在这一年,我们创建了八个“家庭建造者小组”,并且在六、七个不同的教会讲道。妻子和我谈论上帝是如何使用“家庭生活”(FamilyLife)这一个团体和它对我们的生活的影响。我们鼓励夫妻们去“周末纪念婚姻大会”。
In 2008 we became the city directors for the Weekend to Remember in Branson, Missouri. That same year we started about eight HomeBuilders groups and spoke at about six or seven different churches. Deb and I talked about how God has used FamilyLife and what it has done in our lives. We encouraged couples to go to a Weekend to Remember conference.
事实上,在这些夫妻当中,有许多朋友就是当年把我们带到“周末纪念婚姻大会”上的。许多年以后,我们最近竟然有机会把他们也带到那里。“你们需要休息一下啦”我们跟他们说,“你们需要去那。”他们参加了“周末纪念婚姻大会”,他们的结了婚的孩子们也参加了。
In fact, among them were the same friends who originally sent us to our first FamilyLife marriage conference. After all the years we recently had a chance to give back to them. “You guys need a break,” we said. “You need to go to this.” They went to the Weekend to Remember and so did their married children.
惊人的遗产
An amazing legacy
我和妻子都非常兴奋,因为我们的四个孩子现在都成为了基督徒。他们也和伴侣一起参加 “周末纪念婚姻大会”,而且有几个还参加了二、三次。几年前,我和妻子有幸又遇到丹尼斯· 雷尼。我们跟他说第一次参加的“周末纪念婚姻大会”是怎样挽救了我们的婚姻。“你们那年在大会周的结尾听到了这些关于生命的改变的故事只是一个方面,”丹尼斯说,“可是现在听过那些故事的25年后,看到你们的孩子都成为基督徒,并以上帝圣灵的指引下养育他们的孩子……这真的是一个多么奇妙惊人的遗产啊!
Deb and I are very excited that our four children are now believers. They have all attended a Weekend to Remember with their spouses; some of them two and three times. A couple of years ago Deb and I had the opportunity to meet Dennis Rainey. We told him how our first FamilyLife marriage conference had saved our marriage. “It’s one thing when you hear these stories [of changed lives] at the end of a conference weekend,” Dennis said, “but to hear it almost 25 years later … to see that your children are Christians and they are raising their children in the Spirit of the Lord … it’s an amazing legacy!”
上帝为我们夫妻所作的是如此的惊人,我们会永远感恩。不久前,我发现发生在我身上的一切其实上帝是对多年前的一个祷告的回应。那是在我妈妈的七十岁大寿的晚会上,我遇到一位女士,她说“你不认识我,但是多年以前,当你还是十二、三岁时,你遇到困难并且被迫辍学,我曾经和你的妈妈,还有另外许多女士天天一起为你的得救祷告。你的妈妈就知道你会有一个精彩的人生的,于是就在我们工作的那家旧纺织厂,我们休息的时候,就手拉着手为你祷告。”听到这里,我止不住痛苦流涕。
What God has done for Deb and me is so tremendous and we are forever grateful. Not too long ago I discovered that all this is an answer to prayers from many years ago. I met a lady at my mom’s surprise 70th birthday party. “You don’t know me,” she said, “but I am one of the ladies who prayed every day with your mother for your salvation when you were in trouble and getting kicked out of school. Your mother always knew that you would have a wonderful life. We would hold hands and pray for you on our break time at the old sewing factory when you were 12 or 13 years old.” All I could do was cry.
自从我的妈妈和那位漂亮的女士为一个没有方向的反叛男孩祷告到现在,已经四十多年了。上帝垂听了她们的祷告。
It’s been more than four decades since Mom and that beautiful lady prayed for a rebellious boy who had no direction for his life. God heard their prayers.
标签:婚姻
38
2010-05-31 17:31 编辑:kuaileyingyu
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有2条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
最新评论:
  • Guest 说:

    It's a long story , not my cake!
    我想要表达的意思是,这个太长了,不是我的菜。对吗?

    2010-06-09 17:22 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
  • Guest 说:

    It;s a long story , not my cake ?
    我想要表达的意思是:这个故事太长了,不是我的菜。对吗?

    2010-06-09 17:24 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 板凳
您可能还感兴趣的文章: