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自信从小养成

所属:成长励志 作者:webmaster 阅读:2331 次 评论:6 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

我们都从炼狱般的高中生活里逃生。我们经历了满脸青春痘,与其他球员在更衣室淋浴,被暗恋的女孩拒绝(好吧,不是所有人都被拒绝过)。这一切都会摧毁一个人的自信,尤其是那些一开始就对自身形象不满意的人。但现在你是一名父亲,你可以纠正孩子对自身形象的错误认识,逐步培养孩子的自信心。运气好的话,这将有助于培养出一名自信满满的年轻人,他会在学业、社交和其他意欲得之的事上取得成功。
We've all lived through the horror that was high school. We've experienced the acne, the showering in the locker room with the other guys, and getting rejected for dates by girls that we had the biggest crush on (well, not all of us have experienced that). All of that can wreak havoc on a guy's self-confidence, especially if he didn't have a very favorable image of himself to begin with. But now that you're a father, you can correct the self-image mistakes you made by instilling a sense of self-confidence into your children. With any luck, these suggestions will help you raise a highly confident young adult that succeeds in academics, social relationships and anything else that they try in life.
1.从一开始就展现爱意。当婴儿长到18个月大的时候,他们会渐渐意识到自己是一个独立的生命,他们和周围的人都有各自的身份。这就是为什么在孩子生命的最初几个月里,向他们展现爱意和鼓励是如此重要。一定要表扬他们的能力,认识他们的长处,这样你对他们的期望才能符合他们的秉性。
1. Start showing them love from the beginning. By the time an infant is 18 months old, they have a sense that they are a separate being and they have a separate identity from those around them. That's why it's so important to show them love and encouragement during their first few months of life. Be sure to praise their abilities and recognize their strengths so your expectations will fit their temperament.
2.真诚表扬。表扬孩子所做的好事是逐步培养孩子自信心的一个好方法。但是过多的表扬可能产生负作用。每次孩子系好鞋带就赞道“做得好!”,表扬将对他们失去意义。防止表扬无意义化的一种方法是在孩子完成任务后,给出更加具化的赞美。例如,“你今天上午帮爸爸把树叶耙成一堆,真是帮了大忙了。”这种表扬,比简单地说“谢谢你的帮助”更加衷心和真诚。
2. Be sincere with your praise. Praising your child for the good things they do is a great way to instill a strong sense of self-confidence. But doing this too much could have the opposite effect. If you shout, “Good Job!” every time they tie their shoes, the praise is going to lose all of its meaning for them. One way to prevent the praise from losing meaning is to make it more specific to the task they completed. For instance, something like “You really helped daddy rake up those leaves this morning” is much more heartfelt and sincere than just saying, “Thanks for the help.”
3.教孩子自立。给孩子的责任越多,他们就越会感觉到自己的重要性。但是要确定,你给出的任务是他们现年龄段可以完成的任务。你不能安排四岁小孩去洗车,还希望他好好完成洗车任务。不过你可以让他们自己从冰箱取出果汁,或者每天玩完玩具后把它放回原位。他们对你的依赖越少,就越自信。作为奖励,这也将使你的生活更加轻松。
3. Teach children to be self-sufficient. The more responsibility you give children, the better they're going to feel about themselves. But be sure you give them tasks that they can do at their age. You can't give a four-year-old the task of washing the car and expect him to complete it. But you can expect them to get their own juice box out of the fridge or put their toys away each day when they're done with them. The less dependent they become on you, the more self-confidence they have. As a bonus, it makes your life easier, too.
4.允许孩子失败。为人父,最难的事情之一就是看着自己的子女迎难而上,失败而终。他们的眼泪可以融化你的心。但是,如果他们从来没失败过,他们就无法学会独立做事。骑自行车就是一个很好的例子。唯一能让他们学会没有辅助轮也能保持平衡的方法,是任由他们自己学着骑车,跌倒几次。当然,要确保他们有防护装备,包括头盔,护膝,护肘。看着他们跌倒会让你心痛不止,不过当他们最终学会骑车时,你将兴奋无比。
4. Allow your child to fail. One of the hardest things a dad has to do is watch his young son or daughter take on a difficult task and fail at it. Their tears can melt your heart. But if they never fail, they never learn how to do things themselves. Riding a bike is a great example. The only way they'll learn to balance without the training wheels is to let them ride on their own and fall down a time or two. Of course, be sure they have on protective gear, including a helmet, knee pads and elbow pads. It might be painful to watch them fall a few times, but you're going to enjoy how excited they are when they finally learn to do it on their own.
5.鼓励孩子尝试新东西。每次都在同一件事情上成功是非常无聊的。想想自己。驾驶汽车都快成为第二本能了。你掌握了开车,你每天都在上班回家的路上开车。但如果你尝试开一辆大型卡车,这将与你平时掌握的事大相径庭,使你感觉良好。现在轮到孩子了。当他们学会完成一个简单的任务之后,可以开始逐渐增加难度。选择阅读难度稍高的书籍,或周围更难做的杂活,并且每次在孩子成功完成任务后记得表扬他们。
5. Encourage your child to do new things. It's boring to succeed at the same thing every time. Think of yourself, for example. Driving a car has probably become like second nature to you. You've accomplished the task and now you accomplish it every day on the way to work and on the way home. But if you were to try driving a huge moving truck, that might be something different that you'd accomplish and feel good about it. Now transfer that to your child. After they've learned how to do a simple task, start increasing the difficulty incrementally. Choose slightly harder books to read or more difficult chores to do around the house and be sure to praise them each time they succeed at those tasks.
6.关注关系,而不是外表。当孩子长大成为青少年,他们会过多关注自己的外表。奇怪的是,全世界没有一个青少年满意自己的外表。这就是为什么青少年在高中阶段,甚至高中之后的几年间,都无法从外表上获得自信心。随着孩子的长大,教他们将注意力放在人与人的关系上,比如与你,与他们的母亲,与其他家庭成员和朋友。如果他们对这种关系感到惬意和安全,不管他们的外表如何,他们都会对自己更有信心。
6. Place the focus on relationships instead of appearance. As children grow into adolescence, they tend to place a great deal of focus on their appearance. But oddly enough, no teenager on earth is comfortable with the way they look. That's why your adolescent will never gain self-confidence through their physical appearance as long as they're in high school and even a few years afterward. As they grow up, teach them to place their main focus on the relationships they have with others, such as you, their mom, other family members and friends. If they feel comfortable and secure in their relationships, they'll feel much better about themselves despite their appearance.
7.展现你的自信。孩子看到你做什么,他们就学什么。因此当你做事时缺乏信心,或对自己的外形没信心,他们就会有样学样。在教孩子学会自信之前,你需要先了解该领域的详情。套用之前的步骤,你的自我形象将同样得到提升。
7. Express confidence yourself. Your children learn from what they see you do. So when you express lack of confidence when doing a task or with the way you look, they're likely to do the same. You might have a little work to do in that area before you can teach your child how to have self-confidence. Apply the previous steps to yourself and you can increase your own self-image, too.
自信是成功的奠基石之一。没有它,你将怯于尝试新事物,或将自己置于“非常态”的情况下来扩展自己的能力和技能。但是,信心未必是与生俱来的。这就是学习如何教导孩子所需的自信的重要所在。这些建议将有助于孩子成长为一名受人尊敬、有所成就,并使你为之自豪的成年人。
Self-confidence is one of the cornerstones of success. Without it, you're afraid to try new things or put yourself “out there” to expand your abilities and skills. But confidence isn't necessarily something you're born with. That's why it's so important to know the techniques to teach your child the confidence they need to succeed in life. With these suggestions, your child can grow up to be a respectable and successful adult that you can be proud of.
标签:自信
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2010-05-30 13:09 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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