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哈佛心理学教授教你制造快乐

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快乐大师丹尼尔吉尔伯特Daniel Gilbert将教你如何过得更快乐。哈佛大学心理学家丹尼尔吉尔伯特Daniel Gilbert毕生致力于追求幸福的研究。他的前沿性的研究成果--已经通过畅销书《遭遇幸福》或译《撞上快乐》(Stumbling on Happiness)而被大众了解,他主持的超新星系列电视栏目《情感生活》(This Emotional Life)正在pbs.org上直播(译者注,在2010年1月时)--他认为,人们几乎完全不知道,什么能给自己带来快乐。更多的钱?--不见得。上帝也许吧。婚姻?当然。“保持快乐,对每个人都是极为重要的一件事,”吉尔伯特说,“当然,我指的不是面带傻笑四处乱逛那种。我的意思是,实现一种生活上的满足感和一般意义上的幸福。”书中这样表述。
Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert has made happiness his lifelong pursuit. His provocative research—popularized in the bestseller Stumbling on Happiness and in his three-part NOVA series, This Emotional Life (airing online at pbs.org)—finds that humans are lousy at predicting what will bring us joy. More money? Not really. God? Maybe. Marriage? Definitely. "It's hugely important to be happy," Gilbert says, "and I don't mean walking around with a silly smile on your face. I mean achieving a general sense of satisfaction with life and a sense of well-being." Read on for his ideas.
爱情的承诺“陷入爱情关系的人们要比一般人快乐的多。这就是为什么结婚的人要比其他人更幸福,即使那些单身的人是住在一起的。当人们投身于某种昂贵的体验或者很难摆脱时,他们会报告感到更快乐。我和女朋友已经一起生活了十几年,而这些研究结果似乎很明确,所以我回家之后提了一个建议。现在,我们结婚了,我确实更爱我的妻子,比我当时爱我的女朋友的程度更深,即使她是同一个人。承诺不仅仅是爱的标志,它还是爱的源泉。”
COMMITMENT"People who commit to relationships are much happier than those who don't. That's why married people are happier than those who just live together. When people commit to something that's expensive or difficult to get out of, they report feeling happier. My girlfriend and I had been living together for a dozen years, and those findings seemed so clear to me that I went home and proposed. Now we're married, and I do love my wife more than I loved my girlfriend, even though she's the same person. Commitment isn't just a sign of love; it's a cause of love."
微小的快乐“为了提高幸福感,少担心那些遥不可及的欢乐,而要找到微小但是源源不断的快乐源泉。当我刚来到哈佛大学的时候,如果你问我“列出3个你最大的幸福来源,”也许我会说“我的学生,学校的资源,还有我的教师同事。”现在,我会在幸福名单第一位上写:上下班过程中的散步。走路上班会让我欣喜若狂么?当然不会,但它是一个持续的乐趣,一天两次,每天如此。当小快乐接连不断的发生,随着时间的推移,聚沙成塔,它就能改变你的生活。”
LITTLE THINGS "To increase happiness, worry less about big, big sources of joy and find a steady stream of small sources. When I came to Harvard, if you'd said, ‘Name the three greatest sources of your happiness,' I might have said, ‘The students, the resources, and the faculty.' Now I would put walking to and from work very high on the list. Do I get ecstasy from walking to work? No, but it's a pleasure that happens reliably twice a day, every day. When good things happen a lot, over time it changes your life."
坚持“心理学家能够让你相信,你像一朵小花一样脆弱,你需要去看心理医生,即使是鞋带断了这样的小事。而事实是,人们是相当坚强的,绝对比他们自己认为的要更强大。我告诉那些刚刚经历过困境的人们的忠告只有一条,那就是——坚持下去。把一切都交给时间,时间会抚平一切坎坷。如果你坚持下来,一年之后,你会很惊讶的发现自己已经好多了!
HANG IN THERE "Psychologists would have you believe that people are a field of fragile flowers who need to visit a therapist when their shoelaces break. The reality is, people are quite strong, much stronger than they themselves realize. One piece of advice I give people who have just experienced hardship is to just hang on. Let time do what time does well. You'll be surprised in a year and see how much better you are."
去教堂祈祷(或者其他团体)“教友要比一般人更快乐,但并不是由于人们早先认为的原因。我们得到的启示是,其实并不是宗教的那一部分让人们感到快乐。让人快乐的是去教堂的过程。是社区群落带来幸福。是手牵着手一起歌唱的快乐。是你知道当即使你生病也会有人关心你服侍你的安全感。在我看来,即使是在一个非常很小的集邮俱乐部,你也可以得到所有的这些快乐。”
GO TO CHURCH (OR SOMEWHERE) "Churchgoers are happier than non-churchgoers, but not for the reasons people expect. Our best indication is that it's not the religion part that makes people happy. It's the going-to-church part. It's the community part. It's the holding hands and singing. It's the knowing-folks-who-would-bring-you-soup-if-you-got-sick part. Odds seem to me pretty good that you could also get all the benefits out of a really tight stamp-collecting club."
付出“最近的一项研究表明,当你在别人身上花了一些钱,你会感到幸福。付出,实际上是一种快乐。如果你想今天过得更开心,那么给你身后的家伙在星巴克买一杯咖啡吧。看着他脸上的表情。会让你得到一种持久的幸福感。我敢保证你的1.85美元花的很值,你得到的快乐要多的多。”
GIVING "[A recent study] showed that when people were given money to spend, those who spent it on others were happiest. Giving is literally a joy. If you want to feel better about your day, buy the guy in back of you at Starbucks a cup of coffee. Watch the look on his face. That's a long-lasting hit of happiness for you. You'll get your $1.85 back, I guarantee it."
投资于体验“体验总是比事情本身更能够让你感到快乐。我们喜欢新车,而且相信它将给我们带来快乐。然而,休假似乎成了一种奢侈。但是,假如你外出度假,有很大的可能是有人和你一起去的。而当和朋友在一起的时候,我们会感到非常高兴。而且一个长假还能创造一段美好的回忆。车子?在路上不断跑啊跑的,渐渐老化生锈,看上去总是不如邻居家的车,而且开始渐渐的让你不满意。”
INVEST IN EXPERIENCES "Experience is almost always a greater determinant of happiness than things are. We want the new car and believe it will bring us happiness. Meanwhile, the vacation seems like a splurge. But if you're going on vacation, odds are somebody's going with you. And when we are connected well to others, we feel most happy. A vacation also creates lasting memories. A car? It sits in the driveway, gets old and rusts, looks worse than the neighbor's, and starts causing you dissatisfaction rather than satisfaction."
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2010-04-18 20:09 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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