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爱情的六波罗密

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二月份的早些时候,我和Logan庆祝了我们的9年结婚纪念日。想到我们一起度过这么长的时间,我感到很惊奇。在共同生活的时期里,我对自己有了更深的认识,也认识到培养长期关系的不易。
Earlier in February, Logan and I celebrated our 9 year anniversary. It’s amazing to think we’ve been together for so long. In that time, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the value of nurturing a long-term relationship.
将简约生活的理念融入我们的生活对改善我们的关系起了很大的作用。我们较少为钱的事担心,也不再为别人认为我们应该怎么生活而忧虑。我们不在倾听否决者(naysayers)的声音,开始把注意力集中在能带给我们难以置信快乐的人和事。
Discovering the concept of simple living has improved our relationship tremendously. We are less stressed about money and no longer worry about conforming to what others think we should be doing with our lives. We stopped listening to the naysayers and started focusing on the people and activities that make us incredibly happy.
下面是几条改善我们关系的小贴士,我希望它们也能帮助你。
Below are a few tips that have improved our relationship and I hope they will help you.
1 不要认为爱人为你做的事是理所当然的。
1. Don’t take your partner for granted.
在波特兰的独自生活,不是我计划的一部分。我想Logan和我在一起,一起在城市里探险,一起在公园里远足。我疯狂地想着Logan,这使我认识到我多么地不珍惜和他在一起的时光。与他恋爱和结婚是我生命中最美好的礼物。
Starting out in Portland, without Logan, wasn’t part of my plan. I wanted him to be here with me, exploring the city and going on hikes in the park. While I’ve missed Logan like crazy, I’ve also realized how much I take him for granted. Being in love and partnered with such an amazing individual is a beautiful gift.
多加珍惜你的爱人。比如,如果你正在读一本书,这时爱人开始和你说话。与其漫不经心地说”是的,甜心,那听起来很有趣“,你最好放下书本,放下因特网,认真地倾听。如果你不积极地聆听,你就没有认真对待你的爱人,这样做是很不好的。
So pay attention to your partner. For example, if you’re reading a book and your partner starts talking to you resist the urge to say, “Sure, honey that sounds great.” Instead of ignoring your partner put your book down, turn the internet off and pay attention. If you aren’t actively listening, you’re taking your mate for granted and that isn’t cool.
2 不要对爱人喋喋不休、吹毛求疵、恶声恶气。
2. Stop nagging, criticizing and snapping at your partner.
你只能改变自己,而不能改变别人。当你想对爱人喋喋不休、吹毛求疵、恶声恶气前,做一次安静的深呼吸。幸福计划(The Happiness Project)的作者强调喋喋不休、吹毛求疵、恶声恶气是不会带来幸福的。为什么我们还有继续这些不好的行为呢?
You can only change yourself, not others. When you get the urge to nag, criticize or snap at your partner, take a quiet deep breath. In The Happiness Project, the author talks about how nagging, criticizing and snapping doesn’t bring about happiness. So why do people continue to behave badly?
3 积极地沟通和交流。
3. Actively communicate.
当你感到不愉快是,和爱人交流一下。一次平静的对话带来类似于互助协议的结果,你会感到压力减轻了。比如,卖掉我们的车是我们做的最大决定。我们负担不起车,也负担不起我们以前的生活,这导致我们对是否对地毯除尘之类的小事儿争吵。
When you’re feeling upset talk to your partner. Having a calm discussion will result in some type of mutual agreement and you won’t be as stressed. For example, selling our cars was one of the best things we ever did. We could not afford the cars or the lifestyle we were leading, which inevitably lead to arguments over small things, like not vacuuming the carpet.
减少对家务之类的小事的争吵与不和极大地改善了我们的关系。当我们争论时,我们会确定所争论的事是重要的。沟通和交流至关重要。和你的爱人沟通和交流可以防止将小事扩大化。
Showing less anger and resentment over the little things like household chores has helped us tremendously. When we start to snap at each other there is a larger issue at play. It’s so important to communicate. By actively talking to your partner you’ll resolve issues before they manifest into resentment.
4 支持你爱人的梦想。
4. Support your loved one’s dreams.
辞掉我白天的工作,把精力投入写作,是我长久以来的梦想。Logan在我实现梦想的每一步上都支持着我。
Leaving my day job to focus on writing is something I’ve dreamed of doing for the last few years. Logan has supported me every step of the way.
支持你爱人的梦想是成功关系的关键。我有一些也想辞职的朋友,但是她们的爱人不支持她们,他们宁愿拥有贵重的物品,也不愿意拥有一个感到满足的伴侣。这很可悲。人生苦短,要实现梦想很不容易。
Supporting your partner’s dreams is one key to a successful relationship. I have a few friends who would love to leave their day job, but their spouse isn’t supportive and would rather have expensive possessions than a partner that is satisfied. It’s such a shame. Life is too short to have your dreams thwarted.
5 少看电视。
5. Destroy your T.V.
关掉它。拔掉它。或者扔掉它。
Turn it off. Unplug it. And then give your television away.
我想你保证,没有了电视,你会和爱人有更多的交流,你们的关系也很更好牢固。没有电视,你们还可以一起散步、骑车和跑步。
I guarantee you’ll talk with your partner more and your relationship will improve. Instead of watching T.V. you can go on a walk, bike ride or run.
6 在困难时期,要相信爱。
6. When times are tough, remember love.
世上不存在爱,只存在爱的证明。
There is no love; there are only proof’s of love. ~Pierre Reverdy
长期以来,我认为人们很容易把爱人为你做事当做理所当然的。你应该珍惜爱人,为他/她做点小事,使他/她的一天更美好。做大于说,把爱铭记于心,每天做一点事来证明你的爱。这里是一些小主意:
Over time I think it’s easy for partner’s to take each other for granted. So do little things for your partner to make their day a little brighter. Actions speak louder than words, so remember love and continue to show little proofs of your love everyday. Here are a few ideas:
说"我爱你“。
Say I love you.
写爱心便条,把它放在令人意料不到的地方。
Hand write love notes and leave them in unexpected places.
常常拥抱和偎依。
Hug and snuggle more often.
通过电子邮件、Twitter或Facebook发送甜言蜜语。
Send love notes via email, twitter or facebook.
用家常便饭迎接爱人。
Surprise your partner with a home cooked meal.
早起时为爱人泡杯咖啡或茶。
Make coffee or tea in the morning.
晚上出去约会。
Plan a date night.
一起散步、骑车或慢跑。
Go for a walk, bike ride or run together.
我们此生只有一次。要恰当地度过它。放松自己,拥抱幸福,用行动和言语表明你的爱。
We only get one life. Use it well. Stress less, embrace happiness and show your love with actions and words.
标签:爱情 波罗
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2010-04-08 21:45 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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  • Guest 说:

    We have been together for 7 years.we nagging,snapping,quarreling, fighting at each other sometimes,but we say sorry on time,make up for each other.do not take your partner for granted

    2010-04-09 10:39 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
  • Guest 说:

    Perfect

    2010-04-14 12:28 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 板凳
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