在线词典,在线翻译

笑话几则

所属:生活杂谈 作者:webmaster 阅读:2373 次 评论:9 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

1
1
一对老年夫妇正在汉堡王里小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成2份。一个客车司机很同情他们,于是提出要给老太太单独买份汉堡。“没关系,什么东西我们都是共同分享的,”老头说。几分钟后,卡车司机发现老太太一点东西都没有吃。“我真的不介意为您妻子买份吃的”司机坚持地说,“她会吃的。”老头保证说。卡车司机不相信,于是问老太太“为什么你不吃呢?”“因为我在等着用我的假牙。”老太太说。
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. "It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything." A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists. "She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?" The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
2
2
医生:你听从我开着窗子睡觉的建议了吗?病人:是的医生:那你的哮喘情况完全消失了吧?病人:没有,但我的手表、电视、ipod和笔记本电脑全消失了。
Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open? Patient: Yes. Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely? Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptop have. 3A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital. "Li kai yang qi guan," says the sick man feebly. The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin. "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath. Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."
3
4
某商业主管去探访生病住院的中国朋友,"Li kai yang qi guan," 病人微弱地说,商业主管很想帮助他,但不知他说的什么意思。"Li kai yang qi guan," ,咽气之前,病人再次这么说。那年年末,该主管去上海出差,最后终于明白了"Li kai yang qi guan" 就是“离开氧气管”的意思。
Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service. "Will the winter be bad?" he asks. "Looks like it," is the answer. So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again. "Are you positive the winter will be very cold?" "Absolutely." The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?" "I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record." "How do you know?" "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
4
5
印第安人寻问新酋长当年的冬天冷不冷。由于新酋长根本没有从祖先那里学到判断天气的方法,于是他在让部下去收集柴火的同时,跑去打电话询问国家气象局。“今年冬天会很糟糕吗?”酋长问,“看起来是这样的。”气象局回答。于是酋长让他的人民收集更多的柴火。一周后,他再次致电气象局“你确定今年冬天很冷吗?”“我告诉你,今年将是历史上最冷的冬天。”对方回答说。“你怎么知道?”“因为印第安人正疯狂地收集柴火。”
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. "What's the matter, honey?" she asks him. "It's my father," the boy sobs. "He hit his finger with a hammer." "Then why are you crying?" "Because first I laughed!"
5
6
邻居看见一个小男孩坐在台阶上哭。“怎么啦,亲爱的。”她问道。“是我的父亲。”小孩说,“他的手指被自己用锤子砸倒了。”“那你哭什么啊。”“因为我刚才在笑。”
Wife: Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush. Husband: Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper.
6
7
妻子:亲爱的,你发现我买了个新的厕所刷吗?丈夫:是的,我发现了。不过我还是更喜欢草纸。
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle- aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. "Will I die?" she asks.God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live." With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live," she complains. "That’s true," says God. "So what happened?" God shrugs. "I didn’t recognize you."
7
一个中年妇女正在做心脏手术,她梦到上帝就在他身边。“我会死吗?”她问。上帝说:“不会,你还有30年寿命。”因为还可以活30年,她决定充分利用这些时间。由于她在医院,于是她重植了她的乳房,做了抽脂手术,整腹术,头发移植以及嘴唇原胶注射。现在,她看起来比以前漂亮多啦。出院那天,她大摇大摆地离开医院,但在穿过马路时立刻就被救护车撞死了。到了天堂,她抱怨地问上帝:“你不是说我还有30年可活吗?”“是的。”上帝说“那我死了是怎么回事?”上帝耸肩道:“我当时没认出你来。”
10
2010-03-14 11:05 编辑:kuaileyingyu
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有9条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
最新评论:
  • Guest 说:

    In a long time ,the seventh joke was existed in this web.

    2010-03-17 16:11 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
  • Guest 说:

    It's very funny~~ Good relax in worktime~~

    2010-03-22 11:12 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 板凳
  • Guest 说:

    I can't understand!

    2010-03-27 16:28 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 地板
  • Guest 说:

    Good

    2010-03-29 20:19 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 4 楼
  • Guest 说:

    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good
    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good
    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good
    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good
    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good
    原帖由Guest于2010-03-29 20:19:07发表
    Good

    2010-03-29 20:19 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 5 楼
  • Guest 说:

    wonderful!

    2010-04-05 02:50 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 6 楼
  • Guest 说:

    cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2010-04-07 21:19 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 7 楼
  • Guest 说:

    than's great!

    2010-04-26 17:29 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 8 楼