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亚裔女性偏爱白人?

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上星期麦克发了篇题目叫“为什么亚裔女生喜欢白人”的帖子,这是一个永远争论不休的话题。我是一个典型的亚裔女生,以下从一个典型亚裔女生的心态出发对麦克帖子做一个回应。
Last week, Mike posted an entry titled “Why Asian Girls Go For White Guys,” which is one of those topics that, no matter how many times it is addressed, is never resolved. I’m a rather typical Asian girl, so this is my response piggybacking Mike’s entry, reviewing it from a typical Asian girl’s mindset.
美国社会有个普遍看法,就是最成功最漂亮的亚裔女生倾向于和白人约会。这个看法来自于数不胜数的成功漂亮的亚裔女生和白人结婚的例子。按照男性中心的社会传统,我们把责任推到亚裔女性头上;按照“少数族裔是受害者”的社会传统,我们指责白人特权主义,指责白人性爱帝国主义,指责全球化造成的白人给全世界人民洗脑的现象——我们用这些理论来解释一切少数族裔所遇到的不平等,好似包治百病的万金油。
There’s a running generalization now in our community that the most successful and most beautiful Asian women prefer to date White. We assume this after observing countless instances of successful, beautiful Asian women marrying White men. In our male-dominant male-centric tradition, we blame the Asian woman for the phenomenon. And in our minorities-are-the-victims tradition, we also blame White Privilege, White sexual imperialism, and the white-washing of the world that globalization has wrought–theories we use like a panacea to explain why any minority race may experience inequality in this world.
我通常是第一个加入到批判“白人性爱帝国主义”行列的人,但就这件事来说,还有别的因素在起作用。因为某些原因,亚裔男生缺乏主动接触心仪亚裔女生的自信心。当性感漂亮的亚裔女生让一个亚裔男生感到哪怕一丁点被拒绝的可能,他就会选择只可远观的态度。但与此同时别的族裔的男生会主动追求这些性感的亚裔女生,特别是白人。从统计学上来说,这些女生当然会和白人约会了,因为她们身边根本就没有优秀的亚裔追求者嘛。
While I would usually be the first to hop on the White-sexual-imperialism bandwagon, in this case there is a smidge more at play… For a number of reasons, Asian men have lost the confidence to approach the particular Asian woman they want to date, which is often an attractive, very well put together individual. Any woman they perceive as even remotely possibly maybe out of their league (i.e., any attractive, very well put together Asian woman), they will simply walk the other way and admire from afar. Meanwhile, since these women really are attractive and very well put together by any measure, men of other races, especially White men, pursue them left and right. It thus makes statistical sense that these women would date White, because they’re not pursued by any promising candidates from the Asian race.
我的两个姐妹都超级漂亮,而且外向、有魅力、教育程度高,从古典音乐、文学、政治、哲学到时尚、八卦,没有她们不能聊的。因为某些原因,每个遇到她们的亚裔男生都会立马假设她们只约会白人,从而连想都不想主动接近的事儿。与此同时,白人追求者却络绎不绝,她们也就只好在白人里面挑挑拣拣,最后自然就跟白人好上了。之后亚裔男生看到她们跟白人手牵手时会惊呼“我早知道她们是这种人!”,于是进一步强化了亚裔女生喜欢白人的流行看法。事实上,她们和白人约会只是因为亚裔男生自己把自己吓跑了。
Both of my sisters, for example, happen to be drop dead gorgeous. They’re sociable, charismatic, highly educated, and can hold their end of the conversation on anything from classical music, literature, politics and philosophy to fashion and the latest gossip. For some reason, every Asian male who meets them immediately assumes they only date White men, and thus don’t even bother approaching my sisters. Meanwhile, they get a lot of attention from White men and since the litter they pick from consists almost exclusively of White men, they end up dating White men. Asian men later see them hand in hand with White men and think, “Yep, I knew it. It figures.” My sisters then unwittingly perpetuate the generalization that Asian girls go for White guys. Truth is, they’re dating White because Asian men were too intimidated to ever initiate.
另一方面,那些对亚裔男生来说不那么漂亮性感的亚裔女生在白人里面仍然能找到倾慕者。这些亚裔女生本来是倾向于约会亚裔男生的,但亚裔男生从来不鸟她们,白人鸟。作为报复,这些亚裔女生公开蔑视亚裔男生——趁这些贱男人有机会拒绝她们之前。
On the other hand, Asian women who, if I may put it delicately enough, are less than conventionally appealing to the typical Asian man, will still find avid fans among White men. (And the Asian fetish issue is beyond the scope of this post.) These women would have preferred to date an Asian man, but Asian men never gave them the time of day, while White men will. In retaliation of being repudiated by most of the Asian men they’ve crushed on throughout their lives, these Asian women openly scorn Asian men before the Asian men have the opportunity to reject these women.
请允许我为亚裔男生提一个也许过分简单化的解决方法吧:爱、爱、爱你的亚裔姐妹吧。太多亚裔男生先入为主的认为亚裔女生是自己族裔的叛徒——我认为这是一个自我实现的预言。亚裔男生把亚裔女生推到其他族裔男人的怀里,当他们:第一,让自己内心的不安全感转化成敌意,撒到想追但自认追不到的女生头上时;第二,让自己的愚昧转化成敌意,撒到追得到但不想追的女生头上时。正是这种敌意使得我们亚裔女生不鸟亚裔男生。
Allow an oversimplified statement of the solution for the Asian male: Love, love, love your Asian sisters. Too many Asian men today automatically impose an almost irrefutable presumption against Asian women that these women are going to be treacherous against the men of their own race. I call it the self-fulfilling prophecy. Asian men push Asian women to date outside their race when they either: (1) allow their insecurity to turn into hostility against the women they think they can’t get but want, or (2) allow their idiocy to turn into hostility against the women they think they can get but don’t want. It’s all this hostility toward Asian women that’s turning us off from Asian men.
当然还有很多因素可以归咎:主流媒体上的英雄人物都是白人男性,最有权势的男人都是白人或至少看起来像白人的社会偏见,某些亚裔女生的自我厌恶心态,还有别忘了似乎每个亚裔男性都有个和自己儿子相依为命的、令人难以忍受的疯狂老妈。然而,我确信亚裔男生可以克服以上这些障碍。
Of course all the usual suspects share culpability: mainstream media’s portrayal of the hero as a White Marlboro man in every tale depicting tragic minority communities; society’s postulation that any alpha male must be White or at least White-like; certain degrees of self-loathing from certain Asian women; and — who can forget — the crazy, overbearing, codependent-on-her-son Asian mother that every Asian male seems to come with. Yet I have faith that the Asian male can overcome all of these enumerated obstacles.
我不确信的是亚裔男生能否消除顾影自怜,勇敢成为亚裔女生的生活里积极的、具有支持性和建设性的一部分。
What I’m not so sure about is whether he can ever get over pitying himself and actually step up to be a positive, supportive and constructive component to our lives.
标签:白人 女性 亚裔
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2009-11-26 16:50 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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  • Guest 说:

    少在那里给中国女生开脱了. 日. 韩. 泰. 印度. 越南.马来.菲律宾...等 他们不是亚裔? 那个国家那样喜欢白人?

    2009-12-05 14:24 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
  • Guest 说:

    少在那里给中国女生开脱了. 日. 韩. 泰. 印度. 越南.马来.菲律宾...等 他们不是亚裔? 那个国家那样喜欢白人?

    2009-12-05 14:24 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 板凳
  • Guest 说:

    看看就行了 毕竟是少数

    2009-12-07 10:08 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 地板
  • Guest 说:

    以我在美国实际生活的观察,的确是这样。。。

    2009-12-08 11:32 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 4 楼
  • Guest 说:

    after read your article, I would say that I am agree with some of the points you made about lack of initiative for Chinese men to date those so-called state-of-the-art Chinese women on their top. And I can sense that you are the one Asian girl that shadowed by an expact boyfriend in your life. It is easily can tell from your English and more from your tone. No wonder why you come up with these perception. But, generally I agree with you on this. Yes I do. Although it may not be all the reason why Chinese women go for white man as the Chinese women you are talking about having their own chance to choose their companion between Chinese and expats.
    You know and I know that Chinese men generally are getting used to show their love in an indirect implied way not like many expats catering to say things straightforward regardless of the possible response. I think it is more about the culture difference rather than sort of lack of confidence.

    All I can say now is that Chinese women has changed in their taste as they are eager to be dating with expat to be internationalized or if I may say dating white has been a kind of fashion to some of the Chinese women which is kind of pity in some way.

    2009-12-08 17:33 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 5 楼
  • how to say,gril just wanna find her Mr.Right,no matter white or yellow.
    be the girlfriend of foreigner,they need more courage.
    coz they have to give up a lot of things to love totally,utterly different guys.

    2010-02-06 01:00 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 6 楼
  • Guest 说:

    I能让女尔尖叫

    2010-04-16 14:13 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 7 楼
  • Guest 说:

    Guest (2009-12-05 14:24:41, 评分: 0 )
    少在那里给中国女生开脱了. 日. 韩. 泰. 印度. 越南.马来.菲律宾...等 他们不是亚裔? 那个国家那样喜欢白人?
    你自己无知,就不要来贬低中国女人。。。那些国家也都是一样的。。。就因为你是中国男人,知道中国的情况更多,并不代表着你不知道的其他国家和自己过的女人都不一样。

    2010-06-23 18:57 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 8 楼
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