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做家务的孩子会有责任心

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据一项调查发现,如今的家长不愿让孩子做家务劳动,但是要帮助他们培养关心别人的心态,为他们打好基础,就应该让他们做家务。
Children should be given chores to help them develop a caring attitude and keep them grounded, according to a survey that found parents are now reluctant to ask children to do household tasks.
通过对1920年至2006年300多种亲子杂志上发表的文章、建议和信件的研究发现,最现代的孩子们只得到承担某些琐碎的责任要求,比如喂宠物,吃完饭收拾餐桌,或整理自己的杂物。
A study of the articles, advice and letters published in more than 300 parenting magazines between 1920 and 2006 has found that most modern-day children are only asked to take on trivial responsibilities, such as feeding a pet, clearing the table after dinner or tidying up after themselves.
“更早的几代人中,儿童和青少年获得担负责任的更有意义机会,他们不仅要分担家务,而且要分担更大的团体责任。”毛尔凯洛·卢瑟福说。她是马萨诸塞州卫尔斯利学院社会学副教授,新研究报告《孩子的自主性与责任心:育儿建议的分析》的作者。
"In earlier generations, children and adolescents were given meaningful opportunities to be responsible by contributing not only to their households but also to their larger communities," said Markella Rutherford, assistant professor of sociology at Wellesley College in Massachusetts and author of the new study, Children's Autonomy and Responsibility: An Analysis of Child Rearing Advice.
“我们发现,这对青少年来说尤其重要。”她说,“直到最近,我们才强调更强的自主性和责任心是青少年冷漠和反叛的解药。”
"This was seen as especially important for adolescents," she said. "Until very recently, greater autonomy and responsibility were emphasised as antidotes to teenage listlessness and rebellion."
她说,直到上世纪八十年代,亲子杂志的工作人员和家长才书面表示赞同,做家务有助于孩子培养同情心和为他人奉献幸福的愿望。在上世纪三十至七十年代,青少年和青春期前儿童需要计划菜单、购物以及为家人做饭。他们还有责任做一些工作,其中包括护理生病的家庭成员,保管家庭收支账目,装饰乃至帮助保养家用汽车。
Until the 1980s, staff at parenting magazines and parents who wrote in agreed that chores helped children develop empathy and a desire to contribute to the well-being of others, she said. Between the 1930s and 1970s, adolescent and pre-adolescent children were expected to plan menus, shop and prepare meals for the family. They were given responsibility for tasks including nursing sick family members, keeping household accounts, decorating or even helping to maintain the family car.
“即使非常小的孩子也被假定有能力做些必要的工作。”卢瑟福说,“一位妈妈的信中写了她如何教四岁的孩子准备生火,划火柴点着火。”
"Even very young children were assumed to be capable of contributing to necessary tasks," said Rutherford. "One mother's letter describes how she taught her four-year-old to lay kindling and strike a match to start a fire."
相比之下,现代孩子得到的唯一真正的责任是家庭作业,卢瑟福说。“上世纪八十年代所有孩子的家务活描述几乎都从亲子杂志中消失了。”她说。在少有的事例中,当要求孩子承担更麻烦的家务活时,往往会涉及到“行贿”——以付钱或提出可以“兑现”玩具、游戏或出去玩的方式。
In contrast, schoolwork is the only real responsibility given to the modern child, said Rutherford. "In the 1980s descriptions of children's household chores all but disappeared from parenting magazines," she said. In rare cases when children were asked to shoulder more onerous chores, references were invariably made to "bribes" in the form of payment or points that could be "cashed in" for toys, games or outings.
卢瑟社的研究结果反映了另一项近期调查。那项调查发现,英国孩子做家务或为父母跑腿,每年能挣七亿英镑。“过去,家长不认为有贿赂孩子的需要,因为他们自信家务劳动有益孩子成长,能让他们有责任感,同时也能让他们体会到自己是家庭生活积极的组成部分。”卢瑟福说。“此外,过去的孩子们不会指望得到钱财,因为他们的父母教导他们要为做好工作而感到自豪。”
Rutherford's findings reflect another recent survey that found British children earn about £700m a year doing chores and errands for their parents. "In the past, parents didn't feel the need to bribe children because they were confident chores benefited their kids by making them feel both responsible and an active part of family life," said Rutherford. "Added to which, children of the past would not have expected to be bribed because their parents taught them to take pride in a job well done."
全国热线服务“家长热线及其它服务”(Parentline Plus)行政长官杰里米·托德说,家长们必须注意,不要对孩子要求过高,一定要保证工作职责公平并适合孩子年龄。不过,他补充道:“让孩子有自己‘必须做’的家务事对其自律以及树立他们的自信心很重要。家务劳动还能教会孩子,如何在计划自己时间的同时,考虑到别人的需要、限制和责任。家务劳动教孩子了解行为的后果,鼓励他们认真思考自己一天内要做什么,不做什么。画完画后把桌子擦干净,或踩了一腿泥后把鞋擦干净,这些不应该被视为惩罚,那只是需要做的事情。”
Jeremy Todd, chief executive of the national helpline Parentline Plus, said parents must be careful not to demand too much of their children and must ensure that responsibilities are fair and age-appropriate. But he added: "Giving children their own 'must-do' chores is great for self-discipline and for building their confidence. Chores can also teach children how to plan their own time, taking into consideration others' needs, limits and responsibilities. They teach children about the consequences of their actions and encourage them to think about what they do, and don't do, in the course of the day. Having to wipe the table after painting, or cleaning their shoes after a puddle-splashing session, shouldn't be seen as a punishment, it just needs to be done."
爱丁堡玛格丽特皇后大学高级讲师迈克尔·克拉彭说,孩子们需要更高级别的体力活动。“做家务,跑腿办事可能是其中一部分。”他说,“也许这些活动还能扩展到家庭之外,比如,今后为老太太跑趟商店,或者,如果下雪,在结冰之前出去清扫人行道等。这类活动具有很大的益处,能让孩子们获得满足感并感受到自我价值。”
Michael Clapham, a senior lecturer at Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh, said children needed a high degree of physical activity. "Doing chores and running errands could be part of that," he said. "Perhaps they could extend that beyond the family, run to the shops for the old lady down the road, for example, or, if it snows, go out and clear the pavement before it freezes. These kinds of activities have lots of benefits. Children can get a feeling of satisfaction and self-worth."
不过,儿童成长网站(KidsDevelopment website)创始人约翰·罗林森警告说,家长们不应该让孩子做他们自己都不愿意做的家务事。“家长应该确保家里每个人共同完成有助于改善家庭环境的家务事。”他说,“当孩子们确实完成了任务,家长应该赞许地承认他们的贡献。也许让他们永远认为家务有趣有点夸张,不过,如果方法得当,他们一定能够承受。”
But John Rowlinson, founder of the KidsDevelopment website, warned that parents should not ask children to do the kind of chores they themselves would be unwilling to do. "Parents should ensure that everyone in the family completes chores that contribute to the good of the household," he said. "When children do complete chores, parents should recognise their contributions with praise. It might be a stretch to think that chores will ever be fun, but they certainly can be bearable if approached in the right way.
“家长应该努力保持家务的活力。往往即使简单的事情,诸如演奏音乐、讲故事或唱歌都可能使平凡的工作和家庭娱乐时间大不相同。
"Parents should attempt to keep chores lively, and often even simple things like playing music, telling stories or singing songs can make all the difference between mundane tasks and family fun time."
他说,工作繁忙的家长也可以利用做家务的机会,单独和孩子们度过更多黄金时光。
He said that chores could also be used by busy working parents as an opportunity to spend more quality time with their children individually.
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2009-11-22 20:52 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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