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善待别人,赢得合作

所属:成长励志 作者:webmaster 阅读:3135 次 评论:2 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

我们大家都希望得到爱和尊重,但有时却不愿意献出爱和尊重,尤其是当我们和某人发生口角、感到不快和生气的时候。
If you treat people with kindness and respect, they'll be more flexible and responsive. We all want love and respect but sometimes we don't want to give love and respect, especially when we are at odds with someone and we're feeling hurt and angry.
如果你瞧不起别人,对别人不好,他们就会回敬你,就会像你预想的那样让人讨厌,充满敌意。相反,如果你很愤怒,但仍旧善待别人,他们往往能更好地回应你的感受和观点。
If you want a better relationship with anyone "Stroking" is mandatory. If you look down on people and treat them badly, they'll retaliate and appear just as annoying and hostile as you expected. If, in contrast, you treat people with kindness and respect in spite of your anger, they'll nearly always be far more flexible and responsive to your feelings and point of view.
有些人不接受这种做法。常听到有人说,“我不应该对他好。他不配。”其它还有“我太生气了,没办法好好待她”,“我想不出什么好话来说他”,以及“她这样对我,我为什么还要对她好”。其实,如果你决定在激烈的争执中真心尊重别人,你所付出的努力会更有效。
Some people are resistant to this technique. "I shouldn't have to be nice to him. He doesn't deserve it." is a common opinon. Others are "I'm just too angry to be nice to her", "I can't think of anything positive to say about him", and " Why should I be nice to her when she's treated me like this". But if you decide to convey genuine respect in the heat of battle, your efforts will be far more effective.
如何使用“赞许”
How to use "Stroking"
真诚地赞美别人。评价他们所具有的某些优秀品质或特性。
* Give the other person a genuine compliment. Comment on some positive quality or trait they have.
即使你们现在都很生气或彼此意见不一致,也要让对方知道你喜欢、尊重、或崇拜他们,珍视他们的友谊。
* Let the other person know that you like, respect, or admire them, and value their friendship even though you're both feeling angry or disagreeing with each other right now.
通过身体语言表达对他的热情和关怀,说明你重视、坦率、容易接触,而不要皱眉、抱着双臂或以审判的态度摇头。
* Convey warmth and caring through your body language, showing that you're interested, open and receptive, as opposed to frowning, crossing your arms across your chest, and shaking your head in a judgemental way.
那么,你必须赞许那些真正愚蠢的人吗?老实说,让那些人明白自己多么愚蠢不是更好吗?答案是,你不一定要尊重地对待所有人。你可以按自己喜欢的方式应对他人。这只取决于你需要和他保持什么样的关系。
But do you have to stroke people who really are jerks? Isn't it better to be honest and let people know what idiots they are? The answer is that you don't have to treat anyone with respect. You can respond to people any way you want to. It just depends on the kinds of relationships you want.
赞美的力量
The Power of Admiration
有时,我们都不得不表达负面感受,对人们说些会让他们不高兴的话。在这种情况下,赞许也是非常重要的。我们都有受到赞赏和尊重的深切需要。如果你要友善地对待别人,一定要保证你的评价永远不会伤害或羞辱他们,你说过的任何话都能得到认同。如果你不得不批评某个人,而你同时表达了自己的喜爱或尊重,那个人就不会那么想提防或回避你的评价了。
Sometimes we all have to express negative feelings and tell people something that may upset them. Stroking is invaluable in this situation as well. We all have a deep need to feel admired and respected. If you treat people with kindness and make sure that your comments will never hurt or humiliate them, you can get away with saying just about anything. If you have to criticise someone, but you convey liking or respect at the same time, that person won't be so tempted to get defensive and dismiss your comments.
这有一个有益练习,有助于你更好地利用这种技巧:
Here's a useful exercise that will help you develop greater skill in this technique:
在接下来一个星期里,坚持至少发出25次问候。你务必要保证其中包括朋友、家人、营业员、甚至其他陌生人。我一直这么做。你会惊奇地发现,当你向旁边的人表示问候时,那些人,甚至陌生人都是多么开心。
Over the next week, make it a point to give out at least twenty-five compliments. Make sure that you include friends, family, shop assistants, and even strangers. I do this all the time. You will be amazed at how people, even strangers will light up when you say something next to them.
标签:合作
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2009-11-15 12:26 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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