在线词典,在线翻译

白头到老的五大秘诀

所属:情感空间 来源:英语点津 阅读:4647 次 评论:1 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]
人们往往可以理解一段婚姻为什么会失败,因为失败的婚姻确实很多;但说清楚一段婚姻为什么能成功却要困难得多。虽然每个选择婚姻的人都想好好过日子,但为何有些夫妻能相濡以沫,而有些夫妻却过得鸡犬不宁?

婚姻的不幸各有原因,而幸福的婚姻却有其共同的秘诀。让我们来看看几对快乐的老年夫妻与我们分享的心得体会。

For Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, it's perseverance. For Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, it's maintaining separate work lives. For Doyle and Louise Brunson, having separate bank accounts helps.

A former first lady, a rock star who's been in and out of rehab more times than he can remember, and a professional poker player can all offer considerable insight into the mysterious workings of marriage. After all, their wisdom is gleaned from decades of conjugal bliss.

OK, maybe it wasn't always bliss. But each of them has stayed married -- to the same person -- for a very long time. And each considers his or her marriage to be happy, strong and mutually supportive.

In other words, they beat the odds.

It is often possible to understand why a marriage fails, as so many do. It is much more difficult, though, to elucidate why one succeeds. Why do some couples thrive, while others fizzle or flame out, despite their best intentions?

When I recently met former first lady Rosalynn Carter, who has been married to Jimmy Carter for 63 years. I couldn't resist asking how they made such a perfect union.

Mrs. Carter replied that she and her husband had gone through two periods that were tough. "First, well, let me just say: Don't ever write a book with your husband," she said.

She went on to explain that the period after she and Mr. Carter left the White House and returned to their hometown of Plains, Ga., also put a strain on their relationship. Her husband felt adrift after failing to win re-election, she said. He would often interrupt her while she was at work in her home office, asking her to have a cup of coffee with him and chat.

"We learned that it was important to our marriage for each of us to always have our own work, our own projects," said Mrs. Carter, 82.

I asked my parents, who just celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary, why their marriage lasted so long. My dad said he had no idea. "Your mother did all the hard work," he admitted. Mom agreed, and divulged her marital secret: "forgiveness."

Happily married people believe they married their soul mates, and for good reason. Even marrying the right person gets you only part way. Ask the couples themselves, and they'll likely credit some combination of hard work and sheer blind luck. No one says that every day, or even every year, was rosy. And there are plenty of long marriages that are unhappy. But there are some strategies that happily married couples say work:

-- Find the middle ground. "It's all give and take," says Marlene Critch, a retired hospital director in Tucson. She met her husband Bill on a blind date in 1959. He took her on a picnic with a thermos of gin and tonics; they married two months later.

Flash ahead 50 years. The Critches have raised two daughters in Seattle and weathered his severe heart condition. They swim together each morning, and he reads her children's books when she has trouble falling asleep at night.

Compromise, they say, got them through the good and bad times. Mr. Critch, 75, says he compromised by quitting the Air Force early in their marriage, because it bothered her that he was away from home so much. (Press him for more concessions, and he says, "Miso soup.")

Ms. Critch, 74, says she made her own compromise by agreeing to retire to Arizona, where her husband preferred the climate. (She wanted to stay in Seattle to be close to their daughters.)

"If each person can give 75 percent, you've got 150 percent," says Ms. Critch. Her husband agrees. "Many men would call that wussy," he says. "But I don't because I value her more than anything else in the world."

Similarly, Jan and Len Konkel, who have been married for 62 years, long ago made a pact to never argue over anything that wasn't very important, saving their battles for things like how to raise their three children. "Everything else is minor and can be settled in a discussion," says Ms. Konkel, 84.

标签:白头到老 秘诀
正在加载单词列表...
0
2012-05-07 10:53 编辑:crystal156
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有1条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
最新评论:
  • threeo 说:

    You feel happy and complete,Because you need not worry,http://www.zuodannu.org

    2012-05-10 14:48 回复 支持(0) 反对(0) 沙发
您可能还感兴趣的文章:
  • [成长励志]不减肥也能显瘦的秘诀

    INVEST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR The most important part of a woman's wardrobe is her underwear, which can transform you from lumpy and bumpy to smooth and sculpted. Soozie Jenkinson, he
  • [成长励志]成功交际的6个秘诀

    You're probably familiar with the necessity of networking in advancing your career. But how well you network often depends on how well you schmooze. Successful schmoozing isn't gl