Around Valentine's Day, I decided to ask my wife what she remembered about my marriage proposal. Now I expected her to blush and then smile; maybe she'd sidle up next to me, give me a little kiss. Well she hesitated, then told me it was distinguished only by how forgettable it was. And, after taking an honest look at my effort, I am forced to agree with her.
论正确的求婚方式 Two Takes on a Marriage Proposal It was April, 1993. I picked my wife, then girlfriend, up from her Brooklyn apartment and we walked around the corner to have dinner at a new Italian restaurant. During appetizers I asked her what she was doing the following May.
“I have no idea.” she said. “Why?”
“Well I thought we could get married,” I responded.
Thinking I was joking, she kicked me under the table. “Don't do that.”
“I'm serious.” I protested. “I am asking you to marry me.”
Well she smiled, said yes, and the rest is history. No drama, no romance, no professions of love and longing, and no ring. There was not one bit of thought put into the entire event. It was an absolute disaster from beginning to end, and my wife is right to be disappointed.
Now I have friends who did things the right way. My best buddy proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve. He took her on a trip to Lake Tahoe, and as the clock struck midnight, he gave her a huge diamond and asked her to be his wife. I have another friend who took his future wife to their favorite Thai food restaurant and arranged for the waiter to present the ring on top of her dinner plate. I should have called one of these guys and asked for advice. Instead, when it was my turn at the line, I threw up a brick.
Now it's not that the proper proposal will guarantee a successful marriage: I know too many men who had great proposals and rotten marriages. There are, however, certain elements in a proposal that are important and whose significance is not lost on today's women
I have not met a woman yet who did not dream of a man on bended knee placing a band of gold on her finger. I have also never heard tell of a woman who didn't feel just a bit cheated when her intended neglected to offer his knee and this token. And my wife is no exception. As we reminisced, she made sure to let me know that any other woman would have rejected my weak proposal based purely on “GP”—that's “general principle”—and I count myself lucky.
I am serious when I say that this failure on my part, more than any other moment, is my greatest regret. As Cher would sing, “If I could turn back time…,” I would give the moment the respect it deserves and give my wife a proposal to remember. Maybe I would take her to the top of a mountain and let my proclamation of love echo across the valleys below. Or, one night, when we strolling down a quiet street, I would take her hand, get down on my knee, tell her how deeply I love her, what a terrific mother she would be, and ask her if she would please allow me the honor of spending the rest of my life with her.
A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, “If I steal a nickel’s worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal
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