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夫妻之间出现矛盾该怎么办?

所属:情感空间 来源:原版英语 阅读:11787 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

小编摘要:导致婚姻破碎的往往是一些看起来琐碎的小事,听起来是不是很不可思议,事实却是这样!

Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner--a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet--we can fall out of love over seemingly small things.

就像我们经常会情不自禁地爱上伴侣的某个特点或者小怪癖──一丝狡黠的微笑,一个傻傻的笑容,或者是对方看到宠物时皱眉的样子,我们也可以开始讨厌看起来是琐碎的小事。



Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me."

随着时间的推移,我们会越来越希望伴侣改掉某些习惯,这种不断加剧的反感情绪最终会演变成比各种琐碎的小事加在一起还要严重得多的事情。正如所有离婚律师都会告诉你的那样,把一双脏袜子扔在地板上有可能会演变成:“你听不进我的话,你不尊重我,你根本不在乎我。”

Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.

不要为鸡毛蒜皮的事伤脑筋。不要自欺欺人。

The experts--marriage counselors and researchers who study why some marriages last while others crumble--can tell you that most unions that fail do so not because of big setbacks, such as a job loss or a sickness in the family.

专家们──包括婚姻顾问和专门研究婚姻为何能持久、为何会破碎问题的研究人员会告诉你,大多数的婚姻失败并非由于遭受很大的打击,比如一方失业或者家人遭遇大病。

"When couples experience these big challenges, they actually come together and support one another," says Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan. "Instead, it's the seemingly small things that pull them apart."

密歇根大学社会研究院的心理学家和研究教授拓瑞·奥巴克表示,当夫妇遭遇这样的人生挑战的时候,实际上他们更能走到一起,彼此支持。相反,导致婚姻破碎的往往是一些看起来琐碎的小事。

Wondering exactly what constitutes a small annoyance? Try this: Ask your friends and family what drives them nuts about their spouses or significant others.

想知道什么是惹恼对方的小事吗?不妨这样:问问你的朋友和家人,哪些问题让他们对自己的另一半感到抓狂?

Husbands told me about wives who 'chomp' their gum or park the car crooked in the driveway, and wives griped about husbands who leave newspapers on the floor, refuse to put coasters under their drinks or walk around the house naked.

丈夫抱怨妻子格格地嚼口香糖,或者把汽车歪着停在家门口的车道上;妻子则唠叨丈夫把报纸随意扔在地板上,不愿使用玻璃杯垫,或者光着身子绕着房子大摇大摆的劣迹。

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2011-11-04 22:46 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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