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张培基英译中国现代散文选--11 《激流》总序

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《激流》总序(1)

巴金

几年前我流了眼泪读完托尔斯泰小说《复活》,曾经在扉页上写了一句话:“生活本身就是一个悲剧。”

事实并不是这样。生活并不是一个悲剧。它是一个“搏斗”。我们生活来做什么?或者说我们为什么要有这生命?罗曼•罗兰的回答是“为的是来征服它” (2)。我认为他说得不错。

我有了生命以来,在这个世界上虽然仅仅经历了二十几个寒暑,但是这短短的时期也并不是白白度过的。这其间我也曾看见了不少的东西,知道了不少的事情。我的周围是无边的黑暗(3),但是我并不孤独,并不绝望。我无论在什么地方总看见那一股生活的激流在动荡,在创造它自己的道路,通过乱山碎石中间。 这激流永远动荡着,并不曾有一个时候停止过,而且它也不能够停止;没有什么东西可以阻止它。在它的途中,它也曾发射出种种的水花,这里面有爱,有恨,有欢乐,也有痛苦。这一切造成了奔腾的一股激流,具有排山之势(4),向着唯一的海流去。

这唯一的海是什么,而且什么时候它才可以流到这海里,就没有人确定地知道了。 我跟所有其余的人一样,生活在这世界上,是为着来征服生活。我也曾参加在这个“搏斗”里面。我有我的爱,有我的根,有我的欢乐,也有我的痛苦。但是我并没有失去我的信仰:对于生活的信仰。我的生活还不会结束,我也不知道的在前面还有什么时候东西等着我(5)。然而我对于将来的却也有一点概念。因为过去并不是一个沉默的哑子,它会告诉我们一些事情。

在这里我所要展开给读者看的乃是过去十多年生活的一幅图画。自然这里只有生活的一小部分,但已经可以看见那一股由爱与恨、欢乐与受苦所组织成的生活的激流是如何地在动荡了。我不是一个说教者,所以我不能够明确地指出一条路来,但是读者自己可以在里面去找它。

有人说过,路本没有,因为走的人多了,便成了一条路。又有人说路是有的,正因为有了路才有许多人走。谁是谁非,我不想判断。我还年轻,我还要活下去,我还要征服生活。我知道生活的激流是不会停止的,且看它把我载到什么地方去!

Preface to the Torrent Trilogy
Ba Jin

Several years ago, after I finished reading Leo Tolstoy’s Resurrection with tears in my eyes, I wrote on its title page, “Life itself is a tragedy”.

However, that is not how things are, for life is not a tragedy, but a “struggle”. What do we live for? Or why do we live this life at all? The answer given by Romain Rolland is “to conquer life”. I think he is right.

Ever since I was born, I have passed no more than twenty odd summers in this world, but this short period of time has not been spent for nothing at all. I have since seen a lot of things and come to know a lot of things. Though it is all darkness around me, I have never felt lonely, nor have I ever given up hope. Everywhere I go, I always see the torrent of life tumbling along to open up its way through a confused mass of mountains and rocks. This torrent is always surging ahead; it has never stopped for a single moment and will never stop. Nothing whatever can hold it up. While on its way, it sometimes throws clouds of spray into the air embodying love and hate, and happiness and sorrow. All that makes up the tumultuous torrent rushing with terrific force towards the only sea.

No one knows for sure what that only sea is and when the torrent is going to empty into it. Like everybody else, I live in this world for the purpose of conquering life. I have also taken part in the “struggle”. I have my own love and hate, and happiness and sorrow. But I have never lost my faith—a faith in life. There is still some way to go before my life runs out, and I do not know what the future has in store for me. Nevertheless, I am not without some idea of what the future is like because the past, being no silent mute, will give me some hint.

What I unfold here in the Trilogy before my readers is a picture of life of the past ten odd years. Of course it reflects only a small section of life, but enough, however, to afford a glimpse of the turbulent torrent of life with its love and hate, happiness and sorrow. I am no religious preacher, so I cannot point out a definite way out. Readers may here find a way out for themselves.

Some say that there is at first no road at all and that a road is created simply by the treading of passers-by. Others say that there is at first already a road available before more and more people come to walk on it. I do not want to judge who are right or who are wrong. I am still young, I want to live on, I want to conquer life. I know the torrent of life will never stop. Let’s see where is it going to carry me!

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2011-10-22 21:09 编辑:Day_Day_Up1990
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