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6种迹象告诉你:他其实没那么喜欢你

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小编摘要:有时候,在你眼中你的新欢简直惊天地泣鬼神,可对方心中所想,却可能完全不是那么回事儿......

He's just not that into you."

I know you hate this phrase. I hate it more. Mostly because it's true-- even when we are living in complete denial about it. Sorry but if he's not calling you it's not because all of his fingers were chopped off in a freak text messaging accident or he's lying in a coma somewhere. It's because he doesn't like you or doesn't like you enough to call you.

“他其实没那么喜欢你。”

我知道这话不中听。其实我对这话比你还要反感。这八成是因为它是句大实话,虽然我们总是死不承认。不过,他要是没给你打电话,对不起了,这可不是因为他的十个指头在一场稀奇古怪短信意外中“光荣挂彩”了,也不是因为他倒在某个犄角旮旯里不省人事了。事情的真相是他还不够爱你,他还没爱你爱到非给你打电话不可的地步。



You have to be aware that even though you may be enjoying an LSD-like love high your new significant other may be feeling something entirely different.

你必须意识到,即使你自以为自己爱得就像嗨了药,在你眼中你的新欢简直惊天地泣鬼神,可对方心中所想,却可能完全不是那么回事儿。

Oftentimes I get asked about red flags in dating and relationships. From personal experience and those of so many ladies I know I have compiled a few warning signals to watch out for and how to deal with them.  As always there are exceptions but I am never the exception and probably neither are you.

我常被问及在约会和保持恋爱关系的过程中有哪些注意事项。参照我的个人体验以及我所熟悉的部分女士的经历,我归纳总结出以下几条提示,以便各位谨慎处理上述问题。不过,俗话说“不怕一万就怕万一”,特例这玩意儿总是有的,可我从不当特例,相信你也一样。

1.He talks about his ex frequently.

It's fine to bring up the ex once in a while under very neutral contexts e.g.   "My ex has the kids this week." But talking incessantly about prior relationships is tacky and might also imply that there are still some unresolved issues lingering in his head whether it's rage resentment or doubt. This rule applies to you too. Do not mention your previous love life and its contents including: pet names restraining orders or penis size.

1.他总是频繁谈到前女友。

偶尔在相对中立的语境下提起前女友倒是情有可原,比如,“我前妻这个礼拜带孩子。”不过,他要是总念叨着过去的恋情那就是不识趣了;当然,这也可能表示他还在为他跟前女友间一堆尚未解决的破事儿纠结不已,不论是愤怒、怨恨还是猜疑。这条守则对你一样适用。别老提起你的旧爱还有他说过的话,例如:宠物的名字、黑名单、鸡鸡的尺寸。

Relationship therapist Dr. Turndorf suggests if he mentions the ex and it bothers you speak up and say something: "The effective way of handling this is to ask him if he knows how he feels when he brings up the subject of his ex? Does he feel hurt? Does he feel angry?" If his problems persist keep in mind that you don't have to.

恋爱关系治疗师吞道夫博士建议说,倘若他提起前女友且这让你不爽的话,你就该直截了当地跟他挑明。“对付这种事最有效的方法就是问他当谈到前女友时感觉怎样。是感到伤心呢?还是窝火?”如果他还是改不掉这个毛病,那你最好记着:你用不着一忍再忍,男人不是只有他一个。

In the beginning of a relationship each party should ideally have a clean slate and be on their best behavior instead of showcasing their baggage like a badge of honor.

在恋情初期,恋爱双方最好都能撇清过去、以诚相待,而不是像秀荣誉勋章那样到处炫耀自己的情感包袱。

2.He tells you he's not ready for a relationship.

I can't believe how many times I've heard women dismiss this statement and continue pursuing unavailable men. These guys will flat out tell you that they don't want to commit to you but here you are baking them cookies enjoying naked sleepovers and gushing to all your girlfriends about what a catch he is. Because "once he sees how great you are he will surely commit.

2.他告诉你他尚未准备好正式确定恋爱关系

这种话即使说上千遍万遍女人也不会把它当回事儿,她们仍旧铁了心对那些不值得付出的男人穷追不舍。这实在让我不敢相信。这些家伙们会直截了当地告诉你他们不想对你许什么承诺,即便如此,你还是死心塌地围着他打转,给他做爱心曲奇,与他共度春宵,在闺蜜面前把他夸得天花乱坠。因为你相信,“一旦他明白你的好,他自然会对你忠心不二。”

If this is you please find someone to slap you back into reality. The truth is-- he doesn't want a relationship (it's the same as not being ready for one) even with someone as delightful and wonderful as you. And you shouldn't waste your time trying to convince him otherwise because his mind is already set.  Bake cookies for someone who cares about you--like that friend who slaps you into back into reality (and not the one who tells you that he'll come around eventually.)

你要真是我说的这种人,那么请找个人把你pia回现实吧。现实就是,即便是像你这样讨喜又出众的姑娘,他也不打算确立关系(这跟“没有准备好”是一回事)。你大可不必苦口婆心地劝他回心转意,这是浪费时间,因为他心意已决。去给那些真正在乎你的人烘烤爱心饼干吧,比如那个把你pia回现实的朋友(而不是说什么“他迟早会回到你身边”这类无稽之谈的朋友)。

I've been in this situation before waiting it out like an idiot. Needless to say I have yet to see a ring on it.

我也曾有过这样的经历,像白痴一样傻傻等待,到头来还不是一场空。
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2011-10-18 23:45 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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