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雅思G类作文赏析(10)

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小编摘要:G类小作文虽然整体要求没有A类小作文那么高,但是要拿高分仍然不容易。下面让我们来看一看这篇G类小作文吧。

You have a  pen friend living in another country and he/she is curious to learn about the major news items in your country.

Dear Amy,

How are you? Long time no letters from you (You didn't write to me in ages). I remember in last letter you had mentioned about (about bein interested in ) current affairs in India,___(so let me give you some local news). Reserve Bank of India(这部分不应该放在introduction里面,应该移到下一个段落) has increased REPO rate by .50 basis points, which has lead to increase in home loan rate.

Rain in INDIA is too heavy this year same as from (compared to)the past two years. Two years back Mumbai was flooded with water and all the normal life was halted for 1 – 2 days.

Our President Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, have finished his tenure on 21st (twenty-first)of July this year. Now we have Mrs. Patil as our new and 1st lady President in Indian history. She has political background where as Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam didn’t have.

After 14 years, people behind the Mumbai bomb blast in 1993 are being punished. Some are being sentence to death and some have to serve a long prison.

Take care. Be in Touch.

这封信件不算差,它有正确的结构(除了第一段),第一段的最后一句应该放在第二段。也很好的完成了题目的要求,单词和句子的结构也都算可以。但是段落与段落之间的逻辑仍需要注意。看上去好像是提了一个又一个例子,但是没有很好的把这些例子组合起来。最后一段还应该加一下个人的境况,以及自己的姓名。

 

 

 

标签:雅思 IELTS
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2011-10-08 16:49 编辑:htt0724
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