在线词典,在线翻译

雅思7分作文赏析(3)

所属:雅思 阅读:2907 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

小编摘要:雅思作文赏析是一个考生积累考试论据素材很好的平台,考生也可以通过别人的错误得到启发。下面让我们来看一看这篇雅思作文吧。

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

Nowadays, many children involved in different types of jobs to have some kind of financial assurance for themselves. However, whether this is good for their development and personality is a much debatable issue. I personally believe that paid works is harmful for children for several reasons.

It is said that children learn valuable experience in the work place. This may be true. However, I would argue that children are mainly employed for jobs that require manual work and are low paid. The recent statistic reveals the common tasks that children are assigned are washing dishes, cleaning floors or serving food in restaurants. Meanwhile, this kind of jobs actually do not(does not) provide children with necessary and useful skills so that they can apply in their future carrer(career).       

This brings me to the second point. Defenders of child work argues(argue) that it is an effective method of learning. The point is children should be able to apply knowledge taught to them in a real life working environment. Although this is undoubtedly true, it also means that children may neglect the classroom study and even fail the class. The worst thing is yet to come. They may become so occupied with the benefits ahead of them like small salary and leave school.

Finally, supporters said that it helps them to build responsibility in the family. They will understand how it is difficult to earn money and therefore have a compassionate view with their parents. This is true to a certain extent, but may have a totally adverse effect on children. As children can make money at an early age, they would feel that it is appropriate to spend on luxury things by their own money, which could be recovered later.   

In conclusion, I think that parents should take measures to restrict their child to work, otherwise it would have a negative consequences on their futures.

这篇文章相当不错,但是论证的时候要好好分段,像finally 这一段又是支持论题的,但是却放在了对论题有怀疑段的后面,这样结构是很不严谨的。

标签:雅思 IELTS
0
2011-10-03 11:52 编辑:htt0724
分享到:
关注海词微博:
发表评论:
表达一些您的想法吧!已有0条评论>>
登录,再发表评论
文明上网,理性发言!
您可能还感兴趣的文章:
  • [雅思]雅思名师各个击破-写作扣分的语言习惯硬伤

    一、英语重结构,汉语重语义 我国著名语言学家王力先生曾经说过:“就句子的结构而论,西洋语言是法治的,中国语言是人治的。”(《中国语法理论》,《王力文集》第一卷,第35页,山东教育出版
  • [雅思]不用“题海战术” 雅思写作也能拿高分

    在雅思考试的听说读写四门科目中,大多数考生最担心的莫过于写作了,时常会出现投入精力最多、耗费时间最长、考试分数最低的现象,这往往和考生备考方式不合理有关。在雅思写作备考中,考生比较