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雅思6分作文评析(2)

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小编摘要:雅思作文6分是很多考生的目标,让我们来看看一篇6分作文的标准是如何的。

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.
You should write at least 250 words.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.


Nowadays, the population increase(increases) dramatically in most countries around the world. This is true for developed and developing nations. Overpopulation cause(causes) different number of problems. However, government can solved(slove) these problems by many solution(solutions).


There are several problems that raising number of people in undeveloped countries causes. Firstly, it is very difficult to provide enough food for all people. Secondly, the government limit the number of children per family to educate(that are allowed to be educated)  in the school. In addition, in poorest countries usually have a lot of unemployment as well(higher unemployment rates), and when the population increase the number of unemployment increase(unemployed increases). Finally, when too many people live on the land, the environment suffers.

There are different problems that overpopulation causes in rich nations. Firstly, it is very difficult for governments to provide helpful public services in overcrowded cities. Moreover, there is generally a great deal more crime such as using drugs, killing people, steeling, and ect(避免用etc). Which that(,which is) often because of high rates of unemployment.


However, overpopulation problems in both(both developed and undeveloped) nations have two main solution(solutions) which it deal(dealt with) by governments. Firstly, government must educate people to limit size of the family. For example, in China they have a policy call “one cild policy” which it is limit size of the family to have one or two children but that it is beginning to have an effect in the world’s most crowded nation.


To sum up, if the population impulsive increase continues, many more people will die of hunger in poor countries. Also, in rich nations, the life in the cities will become more and more difficult.


这篇文章内容不错,也按照要求完成了任务。但是语法要尤其注意,第一段最后重复solve and solution,不如说“can find many solutions to those problems”第三段,最后一句,结构也相当有问题,看上去像是还没有说完一样。

 

标签:雅思 IELTS
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2011-09-15 15:05 编辑:htt0724
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