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雅思6.5分作文评析

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小编摘要:雅思作文赏析,不仅要学习好作文的结构例子,同时也要吸取教训,避免一些常见的错误。下面来让我们看看这篇6.5的作文吧。

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


In many countries the discussion about the rising financial problems of young people has got more into focus. Tough(Though)some people are voting to integrate financial education as a schooling subject(mandatory subject at school).


The key problem for many young ones is that they don’t know how to use and spend money in the right way. The “get what you want mentality” is advertised all over in the public media and it looks like some people think that living with interest fees(in debt)is normal. Though financial problems in young life are very common with the result that it is difficult to learn how to spend money appropriated(confusing sentence). The main idea of teaching a financial subject must be to explain about a balanced budget and that interest fees could ruins one future.


But(However) this is just one side that has to be considered. For me, the main question is why dose parents cannot give the right advice to their kids? To give such a personal subject in the hands of government and school is a lack of the key tasks that parents have: to be a good role model.


Moreover it should be considerated(considered) that the social effects of talking about money and finance in a social diverted school class can be harmful for some students. In my opinion it is more important to teach parents about their responsibilities as a role model and educate private topic in a safe and private environment.
All in all I think the main task of public institutions should be to educate about common subjects and not to give such personal advice like the use of money.


这篇文章总体来说是比较好的。结构正确,分了5段,也完成了题目所要求的讨论。每个段落需要在改善一下,把每段的长度控制的相似一些,比如和第三段比起来,第二段实在太长了。语法和拼写要注意。

标签:雅思 IELTS
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2011-09-15 08:56 编辑:htt0724
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