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获奖散文:前男友的博客,看看无妨?

所属:情感空间 来源:yeeyan.org 阅读:11330 次 评论:1 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]

小编摘要:博客就像一面单向透光的镜子,我凝视着他,他也在凝视着自己。两个人都以此来审视自己,直到最后大家都得到了自己想要的,然后离开。

前男友的博客,看看无妨?前男友的博客,看看无妨?前男友的博客,看看无妨?

我有一个闺蜜,她和其他很多人一样,喜欢在网上搜索历任男友的近况。每到休息时间,她都会兴冲冲的上一下前男友的校内,查阅一夜情对象的微博,或是谷歌一下过去暗恋对象的最新消息。
I HAVE a good friend who, like countless others, is addicted to Googling ex-boyfriends. Instead of coffee breaks, she goes on periodic search sprees where she looks up old lovers, passing fancies and mere crushes.
在她致力于检阅历任男友的同时,她也怂恿我像她这么干。在最近给我发的一封电子邮件里她还抱怨道:“我真后悔当初没多交几个男朋友!”当我们俩都已经几乎迈入婚姻的第二十个年头的时候,我们的男友库存都已经相形见肘了。
More Modern Love ColumnsWhen her interest in her own history flags, she encourages me to look up mine. One of her recent e-mails read: “I wish there were more boys!” Meaning that since we both have been married for 20 years, our backlists are running low.
我过去的男友们都很低调,很难在谷歌中找到他们的踪影。这也许是好事,只是少了点儿惊喜。额......除了二十五年前的一个人,一个酷爱文学的男孩,从某种意义上讲他是我在写作这条路上的领路人。于是在某个早晨我在电脑上键入了他的名字,敲下回车键,然后......我发现了一座金山。
The men of my past, search-engine-wise, are mostly unremarkable. The outcomes seem happy, and there have been no real surprises. Except for one from (gulp) a quarter-century ago, a boy with literary aspirations who had once been a kind of mentor to me. On a lark one morning I typed his name, pressed return and hit a gold mine.
我发现他同时写好几个博客,有些已经写了好长一段时间了:有的是对书籍和音乐的评论,有的写对人性和宗教的思考,还有一个写和他工作相关的事情(他是一个老师)。
As it turned out, he was the keeper of multiple blogs, some of which he’d been writing for years: opinion pieces on books and music, musings on race and religion, and one blog devoted to his workplace (he was a teacher).
我仔细的读了一遍他写的这些博客,我发现他有想要把这些小短文集结出书的想法。出书,显然是他少年未完成的一个梦。除了知道他已经结婚,有了孩子,做着一份还不错的工作,其他的一切都和我当初认识他时一样,读他的博客就像是在和一位久未谋面的老友交谈。
As I read over his various posts, it became clear that he was struggling with finding a way to gather these mini-essays together in order to write a book. That part of his life, writing books, apparently was a dream deferred. But the rest of it (a good marriage, children, work that was valuable) seemed like everything you’d hope to find when looking up an old friend.
他的博客并不像我第一眼看到的那样出色。深邃的思考和文学功底并不多见,博客上内容最多的也只不过是生活的琐事。我前男友把写博客只当做在记日记。
Except his blogs weren’t all they seemed to be at first blush. Buried among the philosophical musings and literary exegeses were struggles of a more intimate nature. Somewhere in the course of creating his blogs, my ex had slipped into the role of diarist.
如果他是个孩子,我会认为这没有什么;通常孩子们都会把真实的生活曝露在网上,包括私人的关系,生活中遭遇的挫折与失落。
If he were a teenager, I suppose there would be nothing new here; millennial teenagers seem bred to leak their lives online, to air their private relationships, depressions and frustrations.
但一个四十岁的男人为什么会这样?我惊奇的发现这是一个“天大的笑话,”他想要用他的博客账号圆他年少时的文学梦,只不过此时梦已蒙尘。
But a guy in his 40s? It was surprising to find that amid a cogent dissection of “Infinite Jest,” he had included an account of his outré dream from the night before. There was dirt here.
只稍几次点击,我就可以进入我前男友最私密的生活里,并且我不用长篇累牍完所有大段的文章。我只需要跳过枯燥的部分,直接找我想要看的那些
With just a few clicks, I had entry into an ex’s most-private life, and I didn’t have to suffer through the boring parts. I could skip around the postings and suss out what I wanted.
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2011-08-25 14:06 编辑:kuaileyingyu
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