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2011年6月英语六级作文标准版范文及评析(沪江网校版)

所属:四六级英语 阅读:2498 次 评论:0 条 [我要评论]  [+我要收藏]
 

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the topic of Certificate Craze. You should write at least 150 words following the outline given below:
1. 现在许多人热衷于各类证书考试
2. 其目的各不相同
3. 在我看来

Part I Writing

My opinion on certificate craze

The growing tendency among college students to get all kinds of certificates has now evolved into a craze. Just randomly ask a student what he or she is busily engaged in doing, quite possibly, you would get the answer that he or she is preparing for a certificate of some kind. So, why’s the craze?

The reason behind this phenomenon is common — the enormous pressure of finding a job. Faced with a harsh job market, most students have no choice but to seek more certificates to parlay their qualifications. Another factor is that diploma and certificates still weighs heavily in terms of signifying one’s ability. For the sake of increasing their odds of landing a better job, the students are compelled to run from one exam to another.

Though I have an open mind toward the craze on certificates, I suggest that students should be more rational when it comes to certificates, since they do not necessarily tell their ability. Instead, they should be more involved in learning and capability boosting, thus, opportunities would come quite naturally.

文章点评:

这是一篇“中等偏上”的学生作文。 本文先对学生的考证热进行简介,引出全篇;接着分析这一现象背后的原因;整体看思路清晰,逻辑严密,行文流畅,句式多变,用语较为地道。

本篇亮点表达:

The growing tendency … has now evolved into…
be busily engaged in doing
The reason behind…
harsh job market
have no choice but to…
parlay their qualifications
sth. weighs heavily in terms of…
increasing one’s odds of…
be involved in doing …
be compelled to do…
have an open mind toward…
capability boosting

本文有待提高之处:

1. 文章结构上,能看得出该同学试图采用议论文的“三段式”(提出问题、分析问题、解决问题)。 逻辑严谨,论证严密;句式表达灵活,用语较为地道。

2. 微观语言点方面,有个主谓一致的方面的错误(diploma and certificates still weighs heavily);有些语句稍显啰嗦,比quite possibly, you would get the answer that… 大可简化成you’d most likely be told that… 更好,意思没有丝毫减损,表达力反而增强许多;另外某些用语多重复,比如job多次出现;为了避免此类现象,文中的the enormous pressure of finding a job 不妨改为 the enormous pressure of getting employed。

从整体看,本篇文章不错,值得参考借鉴,不过用语方面还有待提高。

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2011-06-18 18:01 编辑:甯老师
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